Beelzebub

Chapter.Page	Beelzebub
	1 The Arousing of Thought
1.41-2	During the last weeks, while lying in bed, my body quite sick, I mentally drafted a summary of my future writings and thought out the form and sequence of their exposition, and I decided to make the chief hero of the first series of my writings… do you know whom?… the Great Beelzebub Himself—even in spite of the fact that this choice of mine might from the very beginning evoke in the mentation of most of my readers such mental associations as must engender in them all kinds of automatic contradictory impulses from the action of that totality of data infallibly formed in the psyche of people owing to all the established abnormal conditions of our external life, which data are in general crystallized in people owing to the famous what is called “religious morality” existing and rooted in their life, and in them, consequently, there must inevitably be formed data for an inexplicable hostility towards me personally.
1.42	But do you know what, reader?
1.42	In case you decide, despite this Warning, to risk continuing to familiarize yourself with my further writings, and you try to absorb them always with an impulse of impartiality and to understand the very essence of the questions I have decided to elucidate, and in view also of the particularity inherent in the human psyche, that there can be no opposition to the perception of good only exclusively when so to say a “contact of mutual frankness and confidence” is established, I now still wish to make a sincere confession to you about the associations arisen within me which as a result have precipitated in the corresponding sphere of my consciousness the data which have prompted the whole of my individuality to select as the chief hero for my writings just such an individual as is presented before your inner eyes by this same Mr. Beelzebub.
1.42	This I did, not without cunning. My cunning lies simply in the logical supposition that if I show him this attention he infallibly—as I already cannot doubt any more—has to show himself grateful and help me by all means in his command in my intended writings.
1.42-3	Although Mr. Beelzebub is made, as is said, “of a different grain,” yet, since He also can think, and, what is most important, has—as I long ago learned, thanks to the treatise of the famous Catholic monk, Brother Foolon—a curly tail, then I, being thoroughly convinced from experience that curls are never natural but can be obtained only from various intentional manipulations, conclude, according to the “sane-logic” of hieromancy formed in my consciousness from reading books, that Mr. Beelzebub also must possess a good share of vanity, and will therefore find it extremely inconvenient not to help one who is going to advertise His name.
1.43	It is not for nothing that our renowned and incomparable teacher, Mullah Nassr Eddin, frequently says:
1.43	“Without greasing the palm not only is it impossible to live anywhere tolerably but even to breathe.”
1.43	And another also terrestrial sage, who has become such, thanks to the crass stupidity of people, named Till Eulenspiegel, has expressed the same in the following words:
1.43	“If you don’t grease the wheels the cart won’t go.”
1.43	Knowing these and many other sayings of popular wisdom formed by centuries in the collective life of people, I have decided to “grease the palm” precisely of Mr. Beelzebub, who, as everyone understands, has possibilities and knowledge enough and to spare for everything.
	2 Introduction: Why Beelzebub Was in Our Solar System
2.51	It was in the year 223 after the creation of the World, by objective time-calculation, or, as it would be said here on the “Earth,” in the year 1921 after the birth of Christ.
2.51	Through the Universe flew the ship Karnak of the “transspace” communication.
2.51	It was flying from the spaces “Assooparatsata,” that is, from the spaces of the “Milky Way,” from the planet Karatas to the solar system “Pandetznokh,” the sun of which is also called the “Pole Star.”
2.51	On the said “transspace” ship was Beelzebub with his kinsmen and near attendants.
2.51	He was on his way to the planet Revozvradendr to a special conference in which he had consented to take part, at the request of his friends of long standing. Only the remembrance of these old friendships had constrained him to accept this invitation, since he was no longer young, and so lengthy a journey, and the vicissitudes inseparable from it, were by no means an easy task for one of his years.
2.51	Only a little before this journey Beelzebub had returned home to the planet Karatas where he had received his arising and far from which, on account of circumstances independent of his own essence, he had passed many years of his existence in conditions not proper to his nature.
2.51-2	This many-yeared existence, unsuited to him, together with the perceptions unusual for his nature and the experiences not proper to his essence involved in it, had not failed to leave on his common presence a perceptible mark. Besides, time itself had by now inevitably aged him, and the said unusual conditions of existence had brought Beelzebub, just that Beelzebub who had had such an exceptionally strong, fiery, and splendid youth, to an also exceptional old age.
2.52	Long, long before, while Beelzebub was still existing at home on the planet Karatas, he had been taken, owing to his extraordinarily resourceful intelligence, into service on the “Sun Absolute,” where our LORD SOVEREIGN ENDLESSNESS has the fundamental place of HIS Dwelling; and there Beelzebub, among others like himself, had become an attendant upon HIS ENDLESSNESS.
2.52	It was just then that, owing to the as yet unformed Reason due to his youth, and owing to his callow and therefore still impetuous mentation with unequally flowing associations—that is, owing to a mentation based, as is natural to beings who have not yet become definitely responsible, on a limited understanding—Beelzebub once saw in the government of the World something which seemed to him “illogical,” and having found support among his comrades, beings like himself not yet formed, interfered in what was none of his business.
2.52	Thanks to the impetuosity and force of Beelzebub’s nature, his intervention together with his comrades then soon captured all minds, and the effect was to bring the central kingdom of the Megalocosmos almost to the edge of revolution.
2.52	Having learned of this, HIS ENDLESSNESS, notwithstanding his All-lovingness and All-forgiveness, was constrained to banish Beelzebub with his comrades to one of the remote corners of the Universe, namely, to the solar system “Ors” whose inhabitants call it simply the “Solar System,” and to assign as the place of their existence one of the planets of that solar system, namely, Mars, with the privilege of existing on other planets also, though only of the same solar system.
2.53	Among these exiles, besides the said comrades of Beelzebub, were a number of those who merely sympathized with him, and also the attendants and subordinates both of Beelzebub and of his comrades. All, with their households, arrived at this remote place and there in a short time on the planet Mars a whole colony was formed of three-centered beings from various planets of the central part of our Great Universe.
2.53	All this population, extraordinary for the said planet, accommodated itself little by little to its new dwelling place, and many of them even found one or another occupation for shortening the long years of their exile. They found occupations either on this same planet Mars or upon the neighboring planets, namely, on those planets that had been almost entirely neglected on account of their remoteness from the Center and the poverty of all their formations.
2.53	As the years rolled by, many either on their own initiative or in response to needs of general character, migrated gradually from the planet Mars to other planets; but Beelzebub himself, together with his near attendants, remained on the planet Mars, where he organized his existence more or less tolerably.
2.53	One of his chief occupations was the arranging of an “observatory” on the planet Mars for the observation both of remote points of the Universe and of the conditions of existence of beings on neighboring planets; and this observatory of his, it may here be remarked, afterwards became well known and even famous everywhere in the Universe.
2.53-4	Although the solar system “Ors” had been neglected owing to its remoteness from the center and to many other reasons, nevertheless our LORD SOVEREIGN had sent from time to time HIS Messengers to the planets of this system, to regulate, more or less, the being-existence of the three-brained beings arising on them, for the coordination of the process of their existence with the general World Harmony.
2.54	And thus, to a certain planet of this solar system, namely, the planet Earth, there was once sent as such a Messenger from our ENDLESSNESS, a certain Ashiata Shiemash, and as Beelzebub had then fulfilled a certain need in connection with his mission, the said Messenger, when he returned once more to the “Sun Absolute,” earnestly besought HIS ENDLESSNESS to pardon this once young and fiery but now aged Beelzebub.
2.54	In view of this request of Ashiata Shiemash, and also of the modest and cognoscent existence of Beelzebub himself, our MAKER CREATOR pardoned him and gave him permission to return to the place of his arising.
2.54	And that is why Beelzebub, after a long absence, happened now to be again in the center of the Universe.
2.54	His influence and authority had not only not declined during his exile, but, on the contrary, they had greatly increased, since all those around him were clearly aware that, thanks to his prolonged existence in the aforementioned unusual conditions, his knowledge and experience must inevitably have been broadened and deepened.
2.54	And so, when events of great importance occurred on one of the planets of the solar system “Pandetznokh,” Beelzebub’s old friends had decided to intrude upon him and to invite him to the conference concerning these events.
2.54	And it was as the outcome of this that Beelzebub was now making the long journey on the ship Karnak from the planet Karatas to the planet Revozvradendr.
2.54	On this big space-ship Karnak, the passengers included the kinsmen and attendants of Beelzebub and also many beings who served on the ship itself.
2.54-5	During the period to which this tale of ours refers, all the passengers were occupied either with their duties or simply with the actualization of what is called “active being mentation.”
2.55	Among all the passengers aboard the ship, one very handsome boy was conspicuous; he was always near Beelzebub himself.
2.55	This was Hassein, the son of Beelzebub’s favorite son Tooloof.
2.55	After his return home from exile, Beelzebub had seen this grandson of his, Hassein, for the first time, and, appreciating his good heart, and also owing to what is called “family attraction,” he took an instant liking to him.
2.55	And as the time happened to coincide with the time when the Reason of little Hassein needed to be developed, Beelzebub, having a great deal of free time there, himself undertook the education of his grandson, and from that time on took Hassein everywhere about with him.
2.55	That is why Hassein also was accompanying Beelzebub on this long journey and was among the number around him.
2.55	And Hassein, on his side, so loved his grandfather that he would not stir a step without him, and he eagerly absorbed everything his grandfather either said or taught.
2.55	At the time of this narrative, Beelzebub with Hassein and his devoted old servant Ahoon, who always accompanied him everywhere, were seated on the highest “Kasnik,” that is, on the upper deck of the ship Karnak under the “Kalnokranonis,” somewhat resembling what we should call a large “glass bell,” and were talking there among themselves while observing the boundless space.
2.55	Beelzebub was talking about the solar system where he had passed long years. And Beelzebub was just then describing the peculiarities of the nature of the planet called Venus.
2.55	During the conversation it was reported to Beelzebub that the captain of their ship wished to speak with him and to this request Beelzebub acceded.
	3 The Cause of the Delay in the Falling of the Ship Karnak
3.56	The captain soon afterward entered and having performed before Beelzebub all the ceremonies appropriate to Beelzebub’s rank, said:
3.56	“Your Right Reverence, allow me to ask your authoritative opinion upon an ‘inevitability’ that lies in the line of our course, and which will hinder our smooth falling by the shortest route.
3.56	“The point is that if we follow our intended course, then our ship, after two ‘Kilprenos,’¹ will pass through the solar system ‘Vuanik.’
3.57	“In view of the sharp distinction in the alternatives before us, I cannot myself decide what to do, and so I have ventured to trouble you, your Right Reverence, for your competent advice.”
3.57	The captain having finished speaking, Beelzebub thought a little and then said as follows:
3.57	“Really, I do not know how to advise you, my dear Captain. Ah, yes… in that solar system where I existed for a long time, there is a planet called Earth. On that planet Earth arose, and still continue to arise, very strange three-centered beings. And among the beings of a continent of that planet called ‘Asia,’ there arose and existed a very wise three-brained being whom they called there ‘Mullah Nassr Eddin.’
3.57	“For each and every peculiar situation great and small in the existence of the beings there,” Beelzebub continued, “this same terrestrial sage Mullah Nassr Eddin had an apt and pithy saying.
3.57	“As all his sayings were full of the sense of truth for existence there, I also always used them there as a guide, in order to have a comfortable existence among the beings of that planet.
3.57	“And in the given case too, my dear Captain, I intend to profit by one of his wise sayings. “In such a situation as has befallen us, he would probably say:
3.57	“‘You cannot jump over your knees and it is absurd to try to kiss your own elbow.’
3.57	“I now say the same to you, and I add: there is nothing to be done; when an event is impending which arises from forces immeasurably greater than our own, one must submit.
3.59	Beelzebub looked with affection on these joyous manifestations of his favorite, but old Ahoon could not restrain himself and, shaking his head reproachfully, called the boy—half to himself—a “growing egoist.”
3.60	All this time Beelzebub listened attentively and with a smile to the chatter of his favorite, and when he had finished said: “You are right, dear Hassein, and for being right I will tell you, even before the captain’s arrival, anything you like.”
3.60	Upon hearing this, the boy at once ran and sat at the feet of Beelzebub and after thinking a little said:
3.60	“But I am curious to know whether there dwell three-brained beings on the planets of that solar system and whether higher ‘being-bodies’ are coated in them. “Please tell me now about just this, dear Grandfather,” concluded Hassein, looking affectionately up at Beelzebub.
3.60	“Yes,” replied Beelzebub, “on almost all the planets of that solar system also, three-brained beings dwell, and in almost all of them higher being-bodies can be coated.
3.64	Beelzebub would have said still more, but the captain of the ship entering at that moment, Beelzebub, after promising the boy to tell him about the beings of the planet Earth on another occasion, began to talk with the captain.
3.64	Beelzebub asked the captain to tell him, first, who he was, how long he had been captain, and how he liked his work, and afterwards to explain some of the details of the contemporary cosmic ships.
3.65	“In short,” continued the captain, “I began my service just when your Right Reverence was departing for the place of your exile. “I was still only a ‘sweeper’ on the long-distance ships of that period.
3.65	“You, your Right Reverence, have condescended to remark very justly that the former ships were very inconvenient and cumbersome.
3.65	¹ The word “Kilpreno” in the language of Beelzebub means a certain period of time, equal approximately to the duration of the flow of time which we call an “hour.”
	6 Perpetual Motion
6.73	“Wait! Wait!” Beelzebub interrupted the captain. “This—what you have just told us—must surely be just that short-lived idea which the strange three-brained beings breeding on the planet Earth called ‘perpetual motion’ and on account of which at one period a great many of them there went quite, as they themselves say, ‘mad,’ and many even perished entirely.
6.75	“Now just one question occurs to me—about the material from which this cylinder-barrel is made. “I wish very much, my dear Captain, that you would roughly tell me what materials it is made of and how long they can last,” requested Beelzebub.
6.75	To this question of Beelzebub’s the captain replied as follows:
6.75	“Although the cylinder-barrel does not last forever, it can certainly last a very long time.
6.75	With an apology the captain rose to leave, explaining as he did so that he must be needed on very important business, since everybody knew that he was with his Right Reverence and would not venture to trouble the ears of his Right Reverence for anything trifling.
	7 Becoming Aware of Genuine Being-Duty
7.76	After the captain had gone, Beelzebub glanced at his grandson and, noticing his unusual state, asked him solicitously and with some anxiety:
7.76	“What is the matter, my dear boy? What are you thinking so deeply about?”
7.77	“It is just because of this that at the present moment there proceeds in me a ‘process-of-remorse.’”
7.77	Having said this, Hassein drooped his head and became silent; and Beelzebub, looking at him affectionately, began to speak as follows:
7.77	“I advise you, my dear Hassein, not to put such questions to yourself yet. Do not be impatient. Only when that period of your existence arrives which is proper for your becoming aware of such essence-questions, and you actively mentate about them, will you understand what you must do in return.
7.77	“Your present age does not yet oblige you to pay for your existence.
7.78	“So in the meantime, exist as you exist. Only do not forget one thing, namely, at your age it is indispensably necessary that every day, at sunrise, while watching the reflection of its splendor, you bring about a contact between your consciousness and the various unconscious parts of your general presence. Try to make this state last and to convince the unconscious parts—as if they were conscious—that if they hinder your general functioning, they, in the period of your responsible age, not only cannot fulfill the good that befits them, but your general presence of which they are part will not be able to be a good servant of our COMMON ENDLESS CREATOR and by that will not even be worthy to pay for your arising and existence.
7.78	“I repeat once more, my dear boy, try in the meantime not to think about these questions, which at your age it is still early for you to think about.
7.78	“Everything in its proper time!
	8 The Impudent Brat Hassein, Beelzebub’s Grandson, Dares to Call Men “Slugs”
8.79	Hassein immediately sat down at Beelzebub’s feet and coaxingly said:
8.79	“Tell me anything you wish, my dear Grandfather. Anything you tell me will be the greatest joy for me, if only because it is you who relate it.”
8.79	“No,” objected Beelzebub, “you yourself ask what interests you most of all. It will give me at the present moment much pleasure to tell you about just whatever you particularly wish to know.”
8.79	“Dear and kind Grandfather, tell me then something about those… how?… those… I forget… yes, about those ‘slugs.’”
8.79	“What? About what slugs?” asked Beelzebub, not understanding the boy’s question.
8.79	“Don’t you remember, Grandfather, that a little while ago, when you spoke about the three-centered beings breeding on the various planets of that solar system where you existed for such a long time, you happened to say that on one planet—I forget how you called it—that on that planet exist three-centered beings who, on the whole, are like us, but whose skin is a little slimier than ours.”
8.79	“Ah!” laughed Beelzebub. “You are surely asking about those beings who breed on the planet Earth and who call themselves ‘men.’
8.79	“Yes, Grandfather, yes, just that. Tell me about those ‘men-beings,’ a little more in detail. I should like to know more about them,” concluded Hassein.
8.79-80	Then Beelzebub said: “About them I could tell you a great deal, for I often visited that planet and existed among them for a long time and even made friends with many of those terrestrial three-brained beings.
8.80	“When we first arrived on that solar system and settled on the planet Mars nothing yet existed on that planet Earth, which had not yet even had time to cool off completely after its concentration.
8.80	“From the very beginning, this same planet has been the cause of many serious troubles to our ENDLESSNESS.
8.80	“If you wish I will tell you first of all about the events of general cosmic character connected with this planet, which were the cause of the said troubles of our ENDLESSNESS.
	9 The Cause of the Genesis of the Moon
9.81	Beelzebub began his tale as follows:
9.81	“After we arrived on the planet Mars where we were directed to exist, we began slowly to settle down there.
9.81	“We were still fully absorbed in the bustle of organizing everything externally necessary for a more or less tolerable existence in the midst of that Nature absolutely foreign to us, when suddenly, on one of the very busiest days, the whole planet Mars was shaken, and a little later such an ‘asphyxiating stink’ arose that at first it seemed that everything in the Universe had been mixed up with something, one might say ‘indescribable.’
	10 Why “Men” Are Not Men
10.87	Beelzebub sighed deeply and continued to speak as follows:
10.87	“After the actualizing on this planet of the ‘Ilnosoparnian’ process, one year, by objective time-calculation, passed.
10.87	“During this period there had gradually been coordinated on this planet also the corresponding processes for the involution and evolution of everything arising there.
10.87	“And of course there began gradually to be crystallized in the three-brained beings there the corresponding data for the acquisition of objective Reason.
10.87	“In short, on this planet also everything had then already begun to proceed in the usual normal order.
10.87	“And therefore, my boy, if the Most High Commission under the supreme direction of the same Archangel Sakaki had not, at the end of a year, gone there again, perhaps all the subsequent misunderstandings connected with the three-brained beings arising on that ill-fated planet might not have occurred.
10.87	“This second descent of the Most High Commission to that planet was due to the fact that in spite of the measures they had taken, of which I have told you, there had not yet crystallized in the Reasons of the majority of its sacred members a complete assurance of the impossibility of any undesirable surprise in the future, and they now wished to verify on the spot the results of those measures.
10.87-8	“It was just during this second descent that the Most High Commission decided in any event, if only for the sake of their own reassurance, to actualize certain further special measures, among which was also that measure, the consequences of which have not only gradually turned into a stupendous terror for the three-brained beings themselves who arise on this ill-fated planet, but have even become, so to say, a malignant sore for the whole of the great Universe.
10.88	“You must know that by the time of this second descent of the Most High Commission, there had already gradually been engendered in them—as is proper to three-brained beings—what is called ‘mechanical instinct.’
	11 A Piquant Trait of the Peculiar Psyche of Contemporary Man
11.97	“The most ‘important’ beings will decree to all the other beings that in all their appointed establishments, such as what are called ‘churches,’ ‘chapels,’ ‘synagogues,’ ‘town-halls,’ and so on, special officials shall on special occasions with appointed ceremonies wish for you in thought something like the following:
11.97	“That you should lose your horns, or that your hair should turn prematurely gray, or that the food in your stomach should be turned into coffin nails, or that your future wife’s tongue should be three times its size, or that whenever you take a bite of your pet pie it should be turned into ‘soap,’ and so on and so forth in the same strain.
11.97	“Do you now understand to what dangers you exposed yourself when you called these remote three-brained freaks ‘slugs’?”
11.97	Having finished thus, Beelzebub looked with a smile on his favorite.
	12 The First “Growl”
12.98	A little later, Beelzebub began to speak as follows:
12.98	“A story I have just recalled, connected with these ‘anathemas’ I have mentioned, may provide very useful material for beginning to comprehend the strangeness of the psyche of the three-brained beings of that planet which has taken your fancy; and furthermore, this story may reassure you a little and give you some hope that if these peculiar terrestrial beings should chance to learn how you had insulted them and should ‘anathematize’ you, then perhaps after all something ‘not so very bad’ might come of it for you.
	13 Why in Man’s Reason Fantasy May Be Perceived as Reality
13.103	“My dear and kind Grandfather, be so kind as to explain to me, if only in a general way, why those beings there are such that they take the ‘ephemeral’ for the Real.”
13.103	To this question of his grandson, Beelzebub replied thus:
13.103	“It was only during later periods that the three-brained beings of the planet Earth began to have this particularity in their psyche, and just this particularity arose in them only because their predominant part, which was formed in them as in all three-brained beings, gradually allowed other parts of their total presences to perceive every new impression without what is called ‘being-Partkdolg-duty’ but just merely as, in general, such impressions are perceived by the separate independent localizations existing under the name of being-centers present in the three-brained beings, or, as I should say in their language, they believe everything anybody says, and not solely that which they themselves have been able to recognize by their own sane deliberation.
13.105	“And in the present case there is no harm in recalling again one of the wise sentences of our dear Mullah Nassr Eddin, who says:
13.105	“‘’Struth! What might not happen in this world. A flea might swallow an elephant.’”
13.105	Beelzebub intended to say something more, but at that moment a ship’s servant entered and, approaching, handed him an “etherogram” in his name.
13.105	When Beelzebub had finished listening to the contents of the said “etherogram” and the ship’s servant had gone, Hassein turned to Beelzebub again with the following words:
13.105	“Dear Grandfather, please go on talking about the three-centered beings arising and existing on that interesting planet called Earth.”
13.105	Beelzebub having looked at his grandson again with a special smile, and having made a very strange gesture with his head, continued to speak as follows:
	14 The Beginnings of Perspectives Promising Nothing Very Cheerful
14.107	“Of these abnormal being-particularities, the particularity of their psyche the most terrible for them personally is that which is called ‘suggestibility.’
14.107	“About this extremely strange and singular psychic particularity I shall specially explain to you sometime.”
14.107-8	Having said this, Beelzebub was thoughtful, and this time longer than usual, and then, turning again to his grandson, he said:
14.108	“I think it will be best for your clear understanding of the strangeness of the psyche of the three-brained beings arising on the planet Earth if I relate to you my personal descents to that planet in their order, and the events which occurred there during these descents of mine, of which I myself was a witness.
14.108	“I personally visited the surface of the planet Earth six times in all, and each of these personal visits of mine was brought about by a different set of circumstances.
	15 The First Descent of Beelzebub upon the Planet Earth
15.109	“Upon that planet Earth,” Beelzebub began to relate, “I descended for the first time on account of a young being of our tribe who had had the misfortune to become deeply involved with a three-brained being there, as a consequence of which he had got himself mixed up in a very stupid affair.
15.109	“There once came to my house on the planet Mars a number of beings of our tribe, also dwelling there on Mars, with the following request:
15.109	“They told me that one of their young kinsmen, 350 Martian years before, had migrated to exist on the planet Earth, and that a very disagreeable incident for all of us, his kinsmen, had recently occurred to him there.
15.110	“Thus it was on this same ship Occasion that I made my first descent to the planet Earth.
15.110	“Our ship landed on this first visit of mine, on the shores of just that continent which during the second catastrophe to this planet, disappeared entirely from its surface. “This continent was called ‘Atlantis’ and most of the three-brained beings, and likewise most of the beings of our tribe, then existed only upon it.
15.110	“Having descended, I went straight from the ship Occasion to the city named ‘Samlios,’ situated on the said continent, where that unfortunate being of our tribe, who was the cause of this descent of mine, had the place of his existence.
15.110-1	“The city ‘Samlios’ was then a very large city, and was the capital of the largest community then on the planet Earth.
15.111	“In this same city the head of this large community existed who was called ‘King Appolis.’ “And it was with just this same King Appolis that our young, inexperienced countryman had become involved.
15.119-20	“And when the revolutionary psychosis had quite died down, King Appolis returned to the city of Samlios and again with the help of our elder beings, gradually began replacing our countrymen either by those of his old subordinates who were still alive, or by selecting absolutely new ones from among his other subjects.
15.120	“And when the earlier policy of King Appolis towards his subjects had been re-established, then the citizens of this community resumed filling the treasury with money as usual and carrying out the directions of their King, and the affairs of the community settled again into the former already established tempo.
15.120	“As for our naïve, unfortunate countryman who was the cause of it all, it was so painful to him that he would no longer remain upon that planet that had proved so disastrous for him, but he returned with us to the planet Mars.
15.120	“And later on he became there an even excellent bailiff for all the beings of our tribe.”
	16 The Relative Understanding of Time
16.121	After a short pause Beelzebub continued thus:
16.121	“Before telling you further about the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy and who breed on the planet Earth, it is in my opinion absolutely necessary for you, for a clear representation of the strangeness of their psyche and, in general, for a better understanding of everything concerning this peculiar planet, first of all to have an accurate representation of their time-calculation, and of how the being-sensation of what is called the ‘process-of-the-flow-of-time’ in the presences of the three-brained beings of that planet has gradually changed and also of how this process now flows in the presences of the contemporary three-brained beings there.
16.121	“You must first know that for the definition of Time, the three-brained beings of that planet take the ‘year’ as the basic unit of their time-calculation, just as we do, and also, like us, they define the duration of their ‘year’ by the time of a certain movement of their planet in relation to another definite cosmic concentration; that is to say, they take that period in the course of which their planet, during its movement—that is, during the processes of ‘Falling’ and ‘Catching-up’—makes what is called its ‘Krentonalnian-revolution’ in relation to its sun.
16.121	“It is similar to our reckoning of a ‘year’ for our planet Karatas, which is the period of time between the nearest approach of the sun ‘Samos’ to the sun ‘Selos’ and its next similar approach.
16.123	“Time in itself does not exist; there is only the totality of the results ensuing from all the cosmic phenomena present in a given place.
16.123	“Time itself, no being can either understand by reason or sense by any outer or inner being-function. It cannot even be sensed by any gradation of instinct which arises and is present in every more or less independent cosmic concentration.
16.123	“It is possible to judge Time only if one compares real cosmic phenomena which proceed in the same place and under the same conditions, where Time is being constated and considered.
16.123	“It is necessary to notice that in the Great Universe all phenomena in general, without exception wherever they arise and manifest, are simply successively law-conformable ‘Fractions’ of some whole phenomenon which has its prime arising on the ‘Most Holy Sun Absolute.’
16.123	“And in consequence, all cosmic phenomena, wherever they proceed, have a sense of ‘objectivity.’
16.123	“And these successively law-conformable ‘Fractions’ are actualized in every respect, and even in the sense of their involution and evolution, owing to the chief cosmic law, the sacred ‘Heptaparaparshinokh.’
16.124	“Only Time alone has no sense of objectivity because it is not the result of the fractioning of any definite cosmic phenomena. And it does not issue from anything, but blends always with everything and becomes self-sufficiently independent; therefore, in the whole of the Universe, it alone can be called and extolled as the ‘Ideally-Unique-Subjective-Phenomenon.’
16.126	“It must be noticed, however, my boy, that though for separate individuals existing in any independent cosmic unit, their definition of the flow of Time is not objective in the general sense, yet nevertheless for them themselves it acquires a sense of objectivity since the flow of Time is perceived by them according to the completeness of their own presence.
16.132	“And thanks to all I have just explained to you, you can put yourself in the position of and understand the although merciless, yet always, and in everything, just Heropass.”
16.132	Having said these last words Beelzebub became silent; and when he again spoke to his grandson, he said with a heavy sigh:
16.132	“Ekh… my dear boy! “Later when I shall have told you more about the three-brained beings of that ill-fated planet Earth, you yourself will understand and form your own opinion about everything.
16.132-3	“You yourself will very well understand that although the fundamental causes of the whole chaos that now reigns on that ill-fated planet Earth were certain ‘unforeseeingnesses,’ coming from Above on the part of various Sacred Individuals, yet nevertheless the chief causes for the developing of further ills are only those abnormal conditions of ordinary being-existence which they themselves gradually established and which they continue to establish down to the present time.
	17 The Arch-absurd According to the Assertion of Beelzebub, Our Sun Neither Lights nor Heats
17.135	Having said these last words, Beelzebub, after a little while, with a bitter smile, continued to talk as follows:
17.135	“You, for instance, have the normal presence of a three-brained being, and within your presence there is intentionally ‘implanted’ from without, ‘Oskiano,’ or as they say there on the Earth, ‘education,’ which is founded on a morality based solely on the commandments and indications of the UNI-BEING HIMSELF and the Most Holy Individuals near to Him. And yet, if you should chance to be there among them, you would be unable to prevent the process in yourself of the ‘being-Nerhitrogool,’ that is, the process which, again there on the Earth, is called ‘irrepressible inner laughter’; that is to say, you would not be able to restrain yourself from such laughter, if in some way or another, they were suddenly clearly to sense and understand, without any doubt whatever, that not only does nothing like ‘light,’ ‘darkness,’ ‘heat,’ and so on, come to their planet from their Sun itself, but that their supposed ‘source of heat and light’ is itself almost always freezing cold like the ‘hairless-dog’ of our highly esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin.
17.135	“In reality, the surface of their ‘Source-of-Heat,’ like that of all the ordinary suns of our Great Universe, is perhaps more covered with ice than the surface of what they call their ‘North Pole.’
17.135-6	“Surely this ‘hearth-of-heat’ itself would rather borrow heat, if only a little, from some other source of ‘cosmic-substance,’ than send a part of its own heat to any other planet, especially to that planet which, though it belongs to its system, yet in consequence of the splitting off from it of a whole side, became a ‘lopsided monstrosity’ and is now already a source of ‘offensive-shame’ for that poor system ‘Ors.’
17.136	“But do you yourself know, my boy, in general how and why in the atmosphere of certain planets during Trogoautoegocratic processes, there proceed those ‘kshtatsavacht,’ ‘kldazacht,’ ‘tainolair,’ ‘paischakir,’ and other such phenomena, which your favorites call ‘daylight,’ ‘darkness,’ ‘cold,’ ‘heat,’ and so on?” Beelzebub asked Hassein. “If you don’t clearly understand, I shall explain this also to you a little.
17.136	“It is necessary to say, first of all, that everything in the Universe, both the intentionally created and the later automatically arisen, exists and is maintained exclusively on the basis of what is called the ‘common-cosmic Trogoautoegocratic-process.’
17.136	“This Most Great common-cosmic Trogoautoegocratic-process was actualized by our ENDLESS UNI-BEING, when our Most Great and Most Holy Sun Absolute had already existed, on which our ALL-GRACIOUS ENDLESS CREATOR had and still has the chief place of His existence.
17.136-7	“This system, which maintains everything arisen and existing, was actualized by our ENDLESS CREATOR in order that what is called the ‘exchange of substances’ or the ‘Reciprocal-feeding’ of everything that exists, might proceed in the Universe and thereby that the merciless ‘Heropass’ might not have its maleficent effect on the Sun Absolute.
17.137	“This same Most Great common-cosmic Trogoautoegocratic-process is actualized always and in everything on the basis of the two fundamental cosmic laws, the first of which is called the ‘Fundamental-First-degree-Sacred-Heptaparaparshinokh,’ and the second the ‘Fundamental-First-degree-Sacred-Triamazikamno.’
17.137	“Owing to these two fundamental sacred cosmic laws, there first arise from the substance called ‘Etherokrilno,’ under certain conditions, what are called ‘crystallizations’; and from these crystallizations, but later, and also under certain conditions, there are formed various large and small, more or less independent, cosmic definite formations.
17.137	“It is just within and upon these cosmic definite formations that the processes of what are called the involution and evolution of the already formed concentrations and also of the said crystallizations take place—of course also according to the two said fundamental sacred laws—and all the results obtained from those processes in atmospheres, and further, by means of these atmospheres themselves, blend and go for the actualizing of the said ‘exchange-of-matters’ for the purposes of the Most Great common-cosmic Trogoautoegocrat.
17.137	“Etherokrilno is that prime-source substance with which the whole Universe is filled, and which is the basis for the arising and maintenance of everything existing.
17.138	“Bear in mind, here, that it is just because of this that the mentioned Objective Science says that ‘everything without exception in the Universe is material.’
17.141	“And this cosmic law is, that there proceeds within every arising large and small, when in direct touch with the emanations either of the Sun Absolute itself or of any other sun, what is called ‘Remorse,’ that is, a process when every part that has arisen from the results of any one Holy Source of the Sacred Triamazikamno, as it were, ‘revolts’ and ‘criticizes’ the former unbecoming perceptions and the manifestations at the moment of another part of its whole—a part obtained from the results of another Holy Source of the same fundamental sacred Cosmic Law of Triamazikamno.
17.141	“And this sacred process Aieioiuoa or ‘Remorse’ always proceeds with the ‘Omnipresent-Active-Element-Okidanokh’ also.
17.148	“But meanwhile I shall tell you about those elucidating experiments concerning this Omnipresent cosmic crystallization at which I was personally present.
17.148	“But I must tell you that I was an eyewitness of these said elucidating experiments, not on that planet Earth which has taken your fancy—nor did your favorites make them—but on the planet Saturn where they were made by that three-brained being who during almost the whole period of my exile in that solar system was my real friend, about whom I recently promised to tell you a little more in detail.”
	18 The Arch-preposterous
18.149	Beelzebub continued as follows:
18.149	“The cause of my first meeting with that three-centered being who subsequently became my essence-friend and by whom I saw the said experiments with the Omnipresent-Okidanokh, was as follows.
18.149	“That you may better represent to yourself the events of this tale of mine, you must first of all know that at the beginning of my exile to that solar system, certain corresponding essence-friends of mine who had not taken part in those events from which the causes of my exile had issued, performed concerning my personality that sacred process which exists in the Universe under the name of the ‘Sacred Vznooshlitzval,’ that is to say, concerning my personality there was implanted in the presences of those three-brained beings by means of another sacred process called ‘Askalnooazar,’ that which Objective Science defines by the notion, ‘Trust-another-like-yourself.’
18.149	“Well, then, just after my arrival in that solar system Ors, when I began visiting its various planets and first descended upon the surface of the planet Saturn, it turned out in connection with the aforesaid, that one of the beings who had undergone the sacred action of ‘Vznooshlitzval’ regarding my person was what is called there the ‘Harahrahroohry’ of all the three-centered beings arising and existing on the planet Saturn.
18.149	“On the planet Saturn a being is called the ‘Harahrahroohry’ who is the sole chief over all the other beings on that planet.
18.150	“Well, then: “When I first descended on the surface of the planet Saturn and mingled with the three-centered beings there, it chanced that I had occasion the next day to meet the Harahrahroohry himself of the planet Saturn; and during what is called our ‘Exchange-of-subjective-opinions’ he invited me to make his own ‘Harhoory,’ that is, his own palace, the chief place of my existence during the whole of my sojourn on their planet.
18.151	“Here it will do no harm to remark that I also, thanks only to his learning, had later in my observatory on the planet Mars that Teskooano which, when it was finally established, enabled my sight to perceive, or as is said, ‘approach-the-visibility’ of remote cosmic concentrations, 7,000,285 times.
18.151	“Strictly speaking, it was owing to just this Teskooano that my observatory was afterwards considered one of the best constructions of its kind in the whole Universe; and, most important of all, it was by means of this Teskooano that I myself thereafter could, even while staying at home on the planet Mars, relatively easily see and observe the processes of the existence occurring on the surfaces of those parts of the other planets of that solar system which, in accordance with what is called the ‘common-cosmic Harmonious-Movement,’ could be perceived by being-sight at the given moment.
18.165	Having said this with a smile, Beelzebub became silent; a little later he made a very strange gesture with his left hand, and with an intonation not proper to his own voice, he continued:
18.165-6	“While I am gradually recalling and telling you about all this concerning the events of a period of my existence now long since past, the wish arises in me to make a sincere confession to you—just to you, one of my direct heirs who must inevitably represent the sum of all my deeds during the periods of the process of my past being-existence—and namely, I wish sincerely to confess to you that when my essence, with the participation of the parts of my presence, subject to it alone, had independently decided to take a personal part in those scientific elucidatory experiments with the demonstrating part of the new invention of Gornahoor Harharkh, and I had entered into this demonstrating part without the least compulsion from outside, yet, in spite of it all, my essence allowed to creep into my being and to be developed, side by side with the said strange experiencings, a criminally egoistic anxiety for the safety of my personal existence.
18.166	“However, my boy, in order that you may not at this moment be too distressed, it is not superfluous to add that this happened in me then for the first and also for the last time during all the periods of my being-existence.
18.166	“But perhaps it would be better for the present not to touch on questions that concern exclusively only our family.
18.175	“And this all-gracious promise was given me, as soon as I returned from exile and had to present myself first of all to His All-Quarters-Maintainer, the Archcherub Peshtvogner, and prostrated myself to produce before him what is called the ‘Essence-Sacred-Aliamizoornakalu.’
18.175-6	“This I had to do on account of the same sins of my youth. And I was obliged to do so, because when I was pardoned by HIS UNI-BEING ENDLESSNESS and allowed to return to my native land, certain Sacred Individuals decided to demand of me, for any eventuality, to have performed over my essence this sacred process in order that I might not manifest myself as in the days of my youth, and that the same might not thereby occur again in the Reason of most individuals dwelling here at the center of the Great Universe.
18.176	“You probably do not know yet what the Sacred-Aliamizoornakalu over an essence means? I shall later explain it to you in detail but meanwhile I shall simply use the words of our dear Mullah Nassr Eddin who explains this process as ‘giving-one’s-word-of-honor-not-to-poke-one’s-nose-into-the-affairs-of-the-authorities.’
18.176	“In short, when I presented myself to His All-Quarters-Maintainer, he deigned to ask me, among other things, whether I had taken with me all the being-productions which had interested me and which I had collected from various planets of that solar system where I existed during my exile. “I replied that I had taken almost everything, except those cumbersome apparatuses which my friend Gornahoor Harharkh had constructed for me on the planet Mars.
18.176	“He at once promised to give orders that everything I should indicate should be taken at the first opportunity on the next trip of the space-ship Omnipresent.
18.176	“And meanwhile, during our traveling here on the space-ship Karnak, I shall, as I have already promised you, tell you in their order about my descents there to your planet and also about the causes of what is called my ‘appearances-there-in-person.’”
	19 Beelzebub’s Tales About His Second Descent onto the Planet Earth
19.177	Beelzebub began thus: “I descended upon your planet Earth for the second time only eleven of their centuries after my first descent there.
19.177	“Shortly after my first descent onto the surface of that planet, the second serious catastrophe occurred to it; but this catastrophe was local in character and did not threaten disaster on a large cosmic scale.
19.177	“During this second serious catastrophe to that planet, the continent Atlantis, which had been the largest continent and the chief place of the being-existence of the three-brained beings of that planet during the period of my first descent, was engulfed together with other large and small terra firmas within the planet with all the three-brained beings existing upon it, and also with almost all that they had attained and acquired during many of their preceding centuries.
19.177	“In their place there then emerged from within the planet other terra firmas which formed other continents and islands, most of which still exist.
19.177	“It was just on the said continent of Atlantis that the city of Samlios was situated, where, do you remember, I once told you that young countryman of ours existed, on whose account my first ‘Descent-in-person’ took place.
19.177-8	“During the mentioned second great disaster to that planet, many of the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy survived owing to many and various events, and their now already excessively multiplied posterity descended just from them. “By the time of my second Descent-in-person, they had already multiplied so greatly that they were breeding again upon almost all the newly formed terra firmas.
19.178	“And as regards the question of just which causes, ensuing according to law, brought about this excessive multiplication of theirs, you will understand this also in the course of my further tales.
19.178	“You might as well, I think, notice here in connection with this terrestrial catastrophe, something about the three-brained beings of our own tribe; namely, why all the beings of our tribe existing on that planet during the mentioned catastrophe escaped the inevitable what is called Apocalyptic-end.’
19.178	“They escaped it for the following reasons:
19.178	“I told you once, in the course of our previous talks, that most of those beings of our tribe who had chosen this planet of yours as their place of existence, existed during my first descent chiefly on the continent of Atlantis.
19.178	“It appears that a year before the said catastrophe, our, as she is called, ‘Party-Pythoness’ there, when prophesying, asked us all to leave the continent of Atlantis and migrate to another small continent not very far away, where we were to exist on that definite part of its surface she indicated.
19.178	“This small continent was then called ‘Grabontzi’ and the part the Pythoness indicated did indeed escape the terrifying perturbation which then occurred to all the other parts of the common presence of that ill-fated planet.
19.178	“In consequence of the said perturbation, this small continent Grabontzi, which exists until now under the name of Africa,’ became much larger, because other terra firmas which emerged from the water spaces of the planet were added to it.
19.178-9	“So, my boy, the Party-Pythoness there was able to warn those beings of our tribe who had been obliged to exist on that planet, and thereby to save them, as I have already told you, from the inevitable ‘Apocalyptic-fate,’ owing only to one special being-property which, by the way, can be acquired by beings only intentionally, by means of what is called being-Partkdolg-duty, about which I shall tell you later.
19.179	“I descended in person to the surface of that planet for the second time, for reasons that ensued from the following events.
19.179	“Once, while on the planet Mars, we received an etherogram from the Center announcing the imminent reappearance there on the planet Mars of certain Most High Sacred Individuals; and indeed, within half a Martian year, a number of Archangels, Angels, Cherubim, and Seraphim did appear there, most of whom had been members of that Most Great Commission which had already appeared on our planet Mars during the first great catastrophe to that planet of yours.
19.181	“‘Your Reverence, I have appeared to you just for the purpose of talking over the future welfare of the large fragment of that planet, which exists at the present time under the name of Moon.
19.181	“‘This fragment,’ His Conformity continued, ‘has not only become an independent planet, but there has now begun on it the process of the formation of an atmosphere, which is necessary for every planet and which serves for the actualization of the Most Great common-cosmic Trogoautoegocrat. “‘And now, your Reverence, the regular process of the formation of the said atmosphere on this small, unforeseenly arisen planet is being hindered by an undesirable circumstance caused by the three-brained beings arisen and existing on the planet Earth.
19.181	“‘And it is just about this that I have decided to apply to you, your Reverence, and to request you to consent to undertake in the Name of the UNI-BEING CREATOR, the task of trying to spare us the necessity of resorting to some extreme sacred process, unbecoming for three-centered beings, and to remove this undesirable phenomenon in some ordinary way through the “being-Reason” they have in their presences.’
19.181-2	“And in his further detailed explanations, His Conformity then said, among other things, that after the second catastrophe to the Earth, the biped three-brained beings who had accidentally survived had again multiplied; that now, the whole process of their being-existence was concentrated on another, newly formed, also large continent called ‘Ashhark’; that three independent large groups had just been formed on this same large continent ‘Ashhark,’ the first of which existed in a locality then called ‘Tikliamish,’ the second in a place called ‘Maralpleicie,’ and the third in a still existing locality then called ‘Gemchania’ or ‘Pearl-land’; and that in the general psyche of the beings belonging to all those three independent groups, certain peculiar ‘Havatvernoni’ had been formed, that is, certain psychic strivings, the totality of the process of which common-cosmic strivings they themselves had named ‘Religion.’
19.182	“‘Although these Havatvernoni or Religions have nothing in common,’ continued His Conformity, ‘yet nevertheless in these peculiar religions of theirs there is very widely spread among the beings of all three groups the same custom called among them “Sacrificial-Offerings.” “‘And this custom of theirs is based on the notion, which can be cognized only by their strange Reason alone, that if they destroy the existence of beings of other forms in honor of their gods and idols, then these imaginary gods and idols of theirs would find it very, very agreeable, and always and in everything unfailingly help and assist them in the actualization of all their fantastic and wild fancies.
19.182-3	“‘This custom is at present so widespread there, and the destruction of the existence of beings of various forms for this maleficent purpose has reached such dimensions, that there is already a surplus of the “Sacred Askokin” required from the planet Earth for its former parts, that is to say, a surplus of those vibrations which arise during the sacred process of “Rascooarno” of beings of every exterior form arising and existing on that planet from which the said sacred cosmic arising is required.
19.183	“‘For the normal formation of the atmosphere of the newly arisen planet Moon, the said surplus of the Sacred Askokin has already begun seriously to hinder the correct exchange of matters between the planet Moon itself and its atmosphere, and the apprehension has already arisen that its atmosphere may in consequence be formed incorrectly and later become an obstacle to the harmonious movement of the whole system Ors, and perhaps again give rise to factors menacing a catastrophe on a greater common-cosmic scale.
19.183	“‘So, your Reverence, my request to you, as I have already told you, is that you should consent, since you are in the habit of often visiting various planets of that solar system, to undertake the task of specially descending on the planet Earth and of trying there on the spot to instill into the consciousness of these strange three-brained beings some idea of the senselessness of this notion of theirs.’
19.183	“Having said a few more words, His Conformity ascended and, when He was fairly high up, added in a loud voice: ‘By this, your Reverence, you will be rendering a great service to our UNI-BEING ALL-EMBRACING ENDLESSNESS.’
19.183	“After these Sacred Individuals had left the planet Mars, I decided to carry out the said task at all costs and to be worthy, if only by this explicit aid to our UNIQUE-BURDEN-BEARING-ENDLESSNESS, of becoming a particle, though an independent one, of everything existing in the Great Universe. “So, my boy, imbued with this, I flew the next day on the same ship Occasion for the second time to your planet Earth.
19.205	“When I arrived on our ship Occasion I found an etherogram for me from Mars in which I was informed of the arrival there of another party of beings from the planet Karatas, and that speedy return there was desired.
19.205	“Thanks to this etherogram a very strange idea came into my head—namely, I thought that instead of disposing of the planetary body of my friend on the planet Earth, I might take it with me and give it to the presence of the planet Mars.
19.205-6	“I decided to carry out this idea of mine as I was afraid that my friend’s enemies who hated him might make a search for his planetary body, and if they had chanced to learn where it had been given to the presence of that planet, or, as your favorites say, ‘buried,’ then doubtless they would have found it and perpetrated some atrocity on it.
19.206	“And so, from the sea Kolhidious, I soon ascended on the ship Occasion to the planet Mars, where our beings and several kind Martians, who had already learned of the events which had taken place on the planet Earth, paid due respect to the planetary body I had taken with me. “They buried him with the ceremonies customary on the planet Mars, and over the spot they erected a corresponding construction.
19.206	“Anyhow, this was the first and surely will be the last what your favorites call ‘grave,’ for a being of the planet Earth on this so near yet so far and, for the terrestrial beings, quite inaccessible planet Mars.
19.206	“I learned afterwards that this story reached His All-Quarters-Maintainer, the Most Great Archangel ‘Setrenotzinarco,’ the All-Quarters-Maintainer of that part of the Universe to which that system Ors belongs, and that He manifested his pleasure by giving to whom it was proper, a command concerning the soul of this terrestrial friend of mine.
19.206	“On the planet Mars I was indeed expected by several beings of our tribe who had newly arrived from the planet Karatas. Among them, by the way, was also your grandmother who, according to the indications of the chief Zirlikners of the planet Karatas, had been assigned to me as the passive half for the continuance of my line.”
	20 The Third Flight of Beelzebub to the Planet Earth
20.207	After a brief pause Beelzebub continued to speak further as follows:
20.207	“This time I remained at home, that is, on the planet Mars, only a short while, just long enough to see and talk with those who had newly arrived, and to give certain directions of a common tribal character.
20.207	“Having disposed of the said affairs, I descended again to your planet with the intention of continuing the pursuit of my aim, that is, the uprooting among these strange three-centered beings of their terrifying custom of doing as it were Divine work by destroying the existence of beings of other brain-systems.
20.207	“On this third descent of mine to the planet Earth our ship Occasion did not alight on the sea Kolhidious, which is now called there Caspian Sea, but on the sea called at that period the ‘Sea of Beneficence.’ “We decided to alight on this sea because I wished this time to go to the capital of the beings of the second group of the continent Ashhark, then named the City Gob, which was situated on the southeastern shore of that sea.
20.207-8	“At that time, the City Gob was already a large city, and was well known over the whole planet for its production of the best ‘fabrics’ and the best what are called ‘precious-ornaments.’ “The City Gob was situated on both banks of the mouth of a large river called the ‘Keria-chi’ which flowed into the Sea of Beneficence and which had its rise in the eastern heights of this country. “Into this Sea of Beneficence, on its western side, another large river flowed called the ‘Naria-Chi.’ “And it was in the valleys of these two large rivers that the beings of the second group of the continent Ashhark chiefly existed.
20.208	“If you wish, my dear boy, I shall also tell you a little of the history of the rise of this group of beings of the continent Ashhark,” Beelzebub said to Hassein.
20.208	“Yes, Grandfather, yes. I shall listen to you with great interest and much gratitude,” replied his grandson.
20.208	Then Beelzebub began: “A long, long time before that period to which my present tale relates, namely, long before that second great catastrophe to that ill-fated planet, while the continent Atlantis was still existing and at the height of its splendor, one of the ordinary three-centered beings of that continent ‘invented’—as my latest detailed investigations and researches cleared up—that the powdered horn of a being of that particular exterior form then called a ‘Pirmaral’ was very effective against what they call ‘diseases’ of every kind. His ‘invention’ was afterwards widely spread by various ‘freaks’ on your planet, and also there was gradually crystallized in the Reason of the ordinary beings there an illusory directing factor, from which, by the way, there is formed in the whole of the presence of each of your favorites, especially of the contemporary ones, the Reason of what is called their ‘waking-existence,’ which factor is the chief cause of the frequent change in convictions accumulated in them.
20.208	“Owing to just this factor, crystallized in the presences of the three-brained beings of your planet of that period, it became the rule that anyone, as they say, who ‘fell ill’ of some disease or other invariably had to be given this powdered horn to swallow.
20.208-9	“It is not without interest to remark that Pirmarals breed there at the present time also; but, since contemporary beings take them merely for one of the species of being they collectively call ‘deer,’ they have no special name for them.
20.209	“So, my boy, as the beings of the continent Atlantis destroyed very many beings of that form for the sake of these horns, they very soon became extinct. “Then a number of beings of that continent, who had by this time already made a profession of hunting these beings, went hunting for them on other continents and islands.
20.209	“This hunting was very difficult, because for the capture of these Pirmarals a great many of these hunter-beings were required; so these professional hunters always took their whole families with them for assistance. “Once several of these hunter families joined together and set off to hunt the Pirmarals on a very remote continent then called ‘Iranan,’ which later, after having been changed owing to the second catastrophe, was called ‘the continent Ashhark.’ “This was the same continent your contemporary favorites now call Asia.’
20.209	“For my further tales concerning these three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, it will be very useful for you, I think, if I emphasize here that on account of various disturbances during the second terrestrial catastrophe, several parts of the continent Iranan entered within the planet, and other terra firmas emerged in their place and attached themselves to this continent, which in consequence became considerably changed and became in size almost what the continent Atlantis had been for the planet Earth before the catastrophe.
20.209-10	“Well, then, my boy, while this said group of hunters were once with their families pursuing a herd of these Pirmarals, they reached the shores of the water-space which was later called the Sea of Beneficence. “Both the sea itself and its rich and fertile shores so greatly pleased this group of hunters that they did not wish to return to the continent Atlantis, and from that time on they remained to exist there, on those shores.
20.210-1	“At this place in my tale I must tell you about an extraordinary coincidence which later had great consequences both for the first beings of this second group and for their descendants of most recent times.
20.211	“It seems that at the time when the said hunters from the continent Atlantis reached the Sea of Beneficence and decided to settle there, there was already existing on the shores of the same sea a being from the continent Atlantis who was at that time very important and who belonged to the sect of ‘Astrosovors’ and who was a member of a learned society, the like of which has never since appeared on that planet Earth and probably never will.
20.211	“This learned society then existed under the name of Akhaldan.’
20.211	“And this member of the Akhaldans reached the shores of the Sea of Beneficence on account of the following:
20.211	“Just before the second great catastrophe those genuine learned beings then existing on the continent Atlantis, who had organized that truly great learned society there, somehow became aware that something very serious had to happen in Nature, so they began to observe very carefully all the natural phenomena of their continent; but however hard they tried, they could in no way find out what precisely had to happen. “A little later on and with the same aim, they sent some of their members to other continents and islands, in order, by means of these common observations, perhaps to be able to find out what was impending.
20.211	“The members sent were to observe not only Nature on the planet Earth, but also every kind of, as they then expressed themselves there, ‘heavenly-phenomena.’ “One of these members, namely, the mentioned important being, had chosen the continent Iranan for his observations and, having migrated there with his servants, had settled on the shores of the said water-space later called the Sea of Beneficence.
20.211-2	“It was just this same learned member of the society Akhaldan who once chanced to meet certain of the mentioned hunters on the shores of the said Sea of Beneficence, and having learned that they had also come from the continent Atlantis, was naturally very glad, and began to establish relations with them.
20.216	“I must tell you that in those days not one of the ordinary beings knew that, besides their planet Earth, other cosmic concentrations existed. “The beings of the planet Earth of those days were even certain that the scarcely visible ‘white-points’ far away in space were nothing more than the pattern on the ‘veil’ of the ‘world,’ that is to say, just of their planet; as, in their notions then, the ‘whole-world’ consisted, as I have said, of their planet alone. “They were also convinced that this veil was supported like a canopy on special pillars, the ends of which rested on their planet.
20.216	“In that ingeniously original ‘religious doctrine’ of the wise King Konuzion it was said that Mister God had intentionally attached to our souls the organs and limbs we now have to protect us against our environment, and to enable us efficiently and profitably to serve both himself personally and the ‘souls’ already taken to that island of His.
20.218-9	“When I first came to the country of Maralpleicie, all the three-brained beings of that country were followers of a ‘religion’ based on the just-mentioned ingenious ‘religious-doctrine,’ and this ‘religion’ was then in full bloom.
20.219	“To the inventor himself of this ingenious ‘religious-doctrine,’ namely, the wise King Konuzion, the sacred ‘Rascooarno’ had occurred long before this time, that is to say, he had long previously ‘died.’ “But of course owing once again to the strangeness of the psyche of your favorites, his invention had taken such a strong hold there that not a single being in the whole country of Maralpleicie then doubted the truth of its peculiar tenets.
20.219	“Here also in the city Gob, from the first day of my arrival, I began visiting the ‘Kaltaani,’ which were already called ‘Chaihana.’
20.223	“Here it is interesting to notice that for some reason or other they would always on these occasions raise their heads and look upwards, even though, according to the teaching of their religion, their god and his assistants were supposed to exist on the same level as themselves, and not where they directed their eyes and prayers. “It was extremely interesting at these moments to watch their faces.”
20.223	“Pardon me, your Right Reverence,” interrupted at that moment Beelzebub’s old devoted servant Ahoon, who had also been listening with great interest to his tales. “Do you remember, your Right Reverence, how many times in that same city Gob we ourselves had to flop down in the streets during the cries of beings of different forms?”
20.223	To this remark, Beelzebub said: “Certainly I remember, dear Ahoon. How could I forget such comical impressions?
20.223	“You must know,” he then continued, turning to Hassein again, “that the beings of the planet Earth are inconceivably proud and touchy. If someone does not share their views or agree to do as they do, or criticizes their manifestations, they are, oh, very indignant and offended.
20.225	Having said this, Beelzebub, smiling, went on with the tale he had begun.
20.225	“It is needless to say,” he continued, “that there also, in this second center of culture of the three-brained beings of your planet, breeding there on the continent of Ashhark, the destruction of beings of other forms for Sacrificial-Offerings entirely ceased; and, if isolated instances occurred, the beings of that group themselves settled accounts with the offenders without compunction.
20.225-6	“Having thus become convinced that there also, among that second group of beings of the continent Ashhark, I had succeeded so easily in uprooting, for a long time, the custom of Sacrificial-Offerings, I decided to leave; but I had it in mind, in any event, to visit also the nearest large points where the beings of the same second group were breeding; and I chose for this purpose the region of the course of the river ‘Naria-Chi.’
20.226	“Soon after this decision, I sailed with Ahoon to the mouth of this river, and began to sail up against its current, having become persuaded that there had already passed from the beings of the city Gob to the beings of this group populating these large centers the same new customs and the same notions concerning Sacrificial-Offerings by the destruction of the existence of other beings.
20.226	“We finally arrived at a small town called ‘Arguenia,’ which in those days was considered the most remote point of the country Maralpleicie. “Here also there existed a fair number of beings of this second Asiatic group who were engaged chiefly in obtaining from Nature what is called ‘turquoise.’
20.226	“There in the small town of Arguenia I began, as usual, to visit their various Chaihana, and there also I continued my usual procedure.”
	21 The First Visit of Beelzebub to India
21.227	Beelzebub continued to speak as follows:
21.227	“Sitting in a Chaihana in this small town of Arguenia, I once overheard a conversation among several beings seated not far from me. “They were talking and deciding when and how they should go by caravan to Pearl-land.
21.227	“At that period to which my present tale refers, the said pearls were very rare among the beings of the second Asiatic group and commanded a high price among them. But in the country Pearl-land there was at the same time a great number of these pearls, and there, on the contrary, they were very cheap, because pearls at that time were exclusively obtained only from the water-spaces surrounding that country.
21.227-8	“The mentioned conversation of the beings who sat near me in the Chaihana in the small town Arguenia then immediately interested me, because at that time I already had the intention of going to that same Pearl-land where the three-brained beings of the continent Ashhark of the third group bred. “And the conversation I then heard at once evoked in my mentation an association to the effect that it might be better to go to the country Pearl-land directly from here with this large caravan of these beings, rather than return the same way to the Sea of Beneficence, and from there, by means of the same ship Occasion, to reach this country.
21.228	“Although this journey, which in those days was almost impossible for the beings of the Earth, would take us a good deal of time, yet I thought that the journey back to the Sea of Beneficence with its unforeseeable contingencies would perhaps not take much less time. “This association then arose in my mentation chiefly because I had long before heard a great deal about the rare peculiarities of those parts of the nature of that peculiar planet through which the proposed route of the caravan lay and, in consequence, what is called a ‘being-love-of-knowledge’ which was already crystallized in me, having received a shock for functioning from all that had been overheard, immediately dictated to my common presence the need to be persuaded of everything personally, directly through my own perceptive organs.
21.229	“And only after a month’s travel, according to their time-calculation, did our caravan from Arguenia come to places where in the soil the possibility had not yet been quite destroyed of Nature’s forming surplanetary formations and creating corresponding conditions for the arising and existing of various one-brained and two-brained beings.
21.229	“After every kind of difficulty we at last, one rainy morning, on ascending a height, suddenly saw on the horizon the outline of a large water-space bordering the edges of the continent Ashhark, which was then called Pearl-land.
21.229	“And four days later we came to the chief point of the existence of the beings of that third group, then the city ‘Kaimon.’ “Having arranged there the place of our permanent existence, we did nothing during our first days there but stroll about the streets of the town, observing the specific manifestations of the beings of that third group in the process of their ordinary existence.
21.229	Without saying anything to this, Beelzebub merely smiled and continued to relate as follows:
21.230	“The history of the arising of this third group of Asiatic beings begins only a little later than that period when the families of hunters for Pirmarals first came to the shores of the Sea of Beneficence from the continent Atlantis and, having settled there, founded the second group of Asiatic beings. “It was just in those, for your contemporary favorites, infinitely remote days, that is, not long before the second Transapalnian perturbation occurred to this ill-fated planet, that there had already begun to be crystallized in the presences of the three-centered beings then of the continent Atlantis certain consequences of the properties of the organ Kundabuffer, on account of which the need—among other needs unbecoming to three-brained beings—began to arise in them to wear, as I have already told you, various trinkets as it were for their adornment, and also a kind of famous what is called ‘Talisman’ which they had invented.
21.231	“These water-areas where the destroyers of the pearl-bearing beings then chanced to come and where these beings bred in large numbers, were just those water-areas which surround the place then called Pearl-land and now called Hindustan or India.
21.232	“So, my boy, from that time on, that part also of the surface of the planet Earth became known to all the three-brained beings there under the name of ‘Land-of-Beneficence.’
21.232	“In this way, before the second great catastrophe to the planet Earth, many beings of the continent Atlantis already existed on this part of the continent Ashhark also, and when that second catastrophe occurred to your planet, then many of the beings who chanced to be saved from the continent Atlantis, chiefly those who already had relatives and kinsmen in that Pearl-land, also gradually collected there.
21.232	“Owing, as always, to their ‘fecundity,’ they gradually multiplied there and began to populate this part of the terra firma of their planet, more and more. “At first they populated there in Pearl-land only two definite regions, namely, the regions around the mouths of the two large rivers which flowed from the interior of Pearl-land into the large water-space, just in those places near which many of the mentioned pearl-bearing beings bred. “But when the population there greatly increased, they began to populate also the interior of that part of the continent Ashhark; but nevertheless their favorite regions continued to be the valleys of the two mentioned rivers.
21.232-3	“Well, then, my boy, when I first arrived in Pearl-land, I decided to attain my aim there also by means of the ‘Havatvernoni’ which existed there, that is, through their Religion. “But it turned out that amongst the beings of this third group of the continent Ashhark, there were at that time several peculiar ‘Havatvernonis’ or ‘Religions’ all based on different, quite independent what are called ‘religious-teachings,’ having nothing in common with each other.
21.234	At this point in Beelzebub’s tales, Hassein turned to him and said:
21.234-5	“My dear Grandfather, during your tales you have already many times used the expression Hasnamuss. I have until now understood only from the intonation of your voice and from the consonance of the word itself, that by this expression you defined those three-brained beings whom you always set apart from others as if they deserved ‘Objective-Contempt.’ “Be so kind as always and explain to me the real meaning and exact sense of this word.”
21.235	Whereupon Beelzebub, with a smile inherent to him, said as follows:
21.235	“Concerning the ‘typicality’ of the three-brained beings for whom I have adopted this verbal definition, I shall explain it to you at the proper time, but meanwhile know that this word designates every already ‘definitized’ common presence of a three-brained being, both those consisting only of the single planetary body as well as those whose higher being-bodies are already coated in them, and in which for some reason or other, data have not been crystallized for the Divine impulse of ‘Objective-Conscience.’”
21.235	Having said only this in defining the word Hasnamuss, Beelzebub continued to speak:
21.235	“During my detailed studies of the mentioned religious teaching I also clarified that after this Sacred Individual had become finally coated with the presence of a three-brained being there and had seriously pondered how to fulfill the task that had been laid upon him from Above, he decided to attain this by means of the enlightenment of their Reason.
21.240-1	“Because, my boy, the clarification of certain details of the arising of such a trivial cause, which was in this instance a basis for the distortion of all the true explanations and exact indications also of this genuine Messenger from Above, Saint Buddha, may provide you with excellent material for a better sensing and understanding of the strangeness of the psyche of those three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, I shall tell you about this in as great detail as possible and shall explain to you just in what sequence the said practice then arose there which led to the following sad misunderstanding which began to exist there, and which is still manifested particularly clearly.
21.241	“I must inform you first of the two following facts: “The first is this: that I cleared up this misunderstanding much later than the period to which my present tale refers; among other things I made it clear to myself only during the period of my sixth descent there when in connection with a question concerning the Saint Ashiata Shiemash, about whom I shall soon tell you in detail, it became necessary for me to find out about the activities of that genuine Messenger from Above, Saint Buddha. “And the second fact is this: that unfortunately the basis of the lamentable misunderstanding was certain authentic words contained in one of the explanations of Saint Buddha, Himself.
21.243-4	“When I first visited that Pearl-land, most of the three-brained beings there, as I have already said, were followers of that same religion which was based, as it were, on the exact counsels and indications of Saint Buddha Himself, and the faith of every one of these beings in this religion was unshakably firm.
21.245-6	“So, my boy, as soon as I had made this misunderstanding clear to myself and had clearly constated that the beings of that country Pearl-land were all, without exception, convinced that they were already particles of Mister Prana himself, I then at once decided to use this misunderstanding, and there also to attain my aim through that religion of theirs.
21.246	“Before saying more about this, it must without fail be noticed that concerning these same explanations of Saint Buddha’s, namely, that He had supposedly said that beings already have in themselves, at their arising, a particle of the Most Great Greatness, my personal detailed investigations quite clearly showed me that He never could possibly have said just that.
21.246-7	“So, my boy, when I made this clear to myself there in Pearl-land, I at once decided to use this error of theirs for the accomplishment of my aim.
21.247	“There in Pearl-land also, just as in the city Gob, I first ‘invented-a-detailed-addition’ to the mentioned religious teaching, and afterwards by every possible means I began spreading this invention of mine.
21.247	“I began to spread there in Pearl-land that that ‘Most-Sacred-Prana,’ about which our Divine Teacher Saint Buddha had explained, is already present not only in people, but also in all the other beings that arise and exist on our planet Earth. “A particle of that fundamental Most Great Great All-embracing, namely, the Most-Sacred-Prana, has already from the very beginning settled in every form of being of every scale, breeding on the surface of the planet, in the water, and also in the atmosphere.
21.247	“I regret to have to say here, my boy, that I was then constrained more than once to emphasize that these words had been uttered by the very lips of Saint Buddha Himself.
21.247	“The several beings there with whom I had meanwhile established ‘friendly’ relations, and whom without any discussion I first of all persuaded there of that invention, not only immediately fully believed it, but afterwards also very effectually helped me, of course unconsciously, in spreading this new invention of mine. “Here also these friends of mine always and everywhere very zealously and passionately proved to other beings like themselves, that this was just so and could not possibly be otherwise. “In short, there in Pearl-land, owing to this second invention of mine, the desired results were unexpectedly rapidly brought about.
21.247-8	“And there in Pearl-land, owing simply to my invention, your favorites so greatly changed their essence-relations towards the beings of other forms, that they not only ceased to destroy the existence of these beings for their famous Sacrificial-Offerings, but even began very sincerely with the whole of their being to regard these beings of other forms as beings like themselves.
21.251	“When I was quite convinced that I had succeeded so easily in the destruction, perhaps for a long time, of that terrible practice among the beings of that group there in Pearl-land, I decided to stay there no longer but to return to the Sea of Beneficence to our ship Occasion.
21.251	“When we were quite ready to leave that Pearl-land, the intention suddenly arose in me not to return to the Sea of Beneficence by the way we had come, but by another way quite unusual in those days.
21.251	“Namely, I decided to return through the locality which was later called ‘Tibet.’”
	22 Beelzebub for the First Time in Tibet
22.252	As the route proposed this time was most uncommon for the terrestrial three-brained beings of those days and accordingly we could not count on the possibility of joining any ‘caravan’ of theirs, I had, then, to organize my own caravan, and I began the same day preparing and procuring everything necessary for this purpose.
22.252	“I then procured some score of the quadruped beings called ‘horses,’ ‘mules,’ ‘asses,’ and ‘Chami-anian’ goats and so on, and hired a number of your biped favorites to look after the said beings and to do the semiconscious work required on the way for this mode of travel.
22.252	“Having procured everything necessary, I set off, accompanied by Ahoon.
22.252	“This time we passed through places still more peculiar, and through still more uncommon parts of the general Nature of that ill-fated planet; and we also encountered this time, or there came within the sphere of our vision, a much greater number of those one-brained and two-brained beings, of various forms, which are called ‘wild,’ and which in those days came there from very remote parts of the continent Ashhark for the purpose, as it is said there, of ‘hunting.’
22.254	“These wild beings, particularly the smallest of them, were at that time already—also, of course, owing to the abnormally established conditions of the ordinary being-existence of the three-brained beings there—perfected as regards apprehendingness and cunning up to the ideal. “In consequence of this, all along this second route of ours, we, and especially our workmen for the semiconscious work, had to be extremely watchful and alert at night in order to guard ourselves, our quadruped beings, and our supplies.
22.254-5	“Although, my boy, this way back to the Sea of Beneficence took us far longer than the way by which we had come here, all that we then saw and heard about the strangeness of the psyche of your favorites, during our passage through these places, fully justified the extra time spent.
22.255	“We traveled under these conditions more than a month of their time, and finally we came upon a small settlement of the three-brained beings who, as it appeared later, had only recently migrated there from Pearl-land. “As we afterwards learned, this settlement was called ‘Sincratorza’; and when this region was subsequently populated and this same place became the principal center for all the beings of that region, the whole country also came to be called by the same name. “The name of this place was afterwards changed several times and now it is called ‘Tibet.’
22.255	“As we chanced to meet the said beings just as night was coming on, we asked them for, as it is said, a ‘night’s lodging.’ “And when they gave us permission to pass the night under their shelter we were very glad at the prospect of a night’s rest, since, indeed, we were all so exhausted by the constant warfare with these wild beings that, both for ourselves and especially for our biped workers, it was now imperative to pass at least one night in peace.
22.261	“Having rested and fed our biped and quadruped workers, we left that melancholy place of sacrifice to the same wretched organ which, in the ruminations of certain Most High Cosmic Individuals had had for some reason or other, without fail, to be implanted into the presences of the earliest three-brained beings of that ill-fated planet.
22.261	“Eh! Eh! Eh! my boy, we left there, as you can well believe, scarcely with agreeable sensations and happy reflections.
22.261-2	“Continuing our route in the direction of the Sea of Beneficence, we again passed through terra firmas of very many different forms, also with conglomerations of intraplanetary minerals, but which had oozed to the surface of the planet from still greater depths.
22.262	“Here I must say something about an exceedingly strange thing, which I constated, closely connected with just that part of the surface of your planet which is now called Tibet. “At that period when I was passing through Tibet for the first time, its heights were indeed also unusually far above the surface of the Earth, but they did not differ particularly from similar elevations on other continents and on the same continent Ashhark or Asia, of which Tibet was a part. “But when during my sixth and last personal stay on the planet Earth there, my way again took me through those, for me, extremely memorable places, I just then constated that in the interval of the few score of their centuries, the whole of that locality had projected so far from the planet that no heights on any of the other continents could even be compared with them.
22.262	“For instance, the chief range of that elevated region through which we had then passed, namely, the range of elevations which the beings there call a ‘mountain-range,’ had in the interval projected so far from the planet that some of its peaks are now the loftiest among all the abnormal projections of that vainly-long-suffering-planet. And if you climbed them, you could possibly with the aid of a Teskooano ‘see clearly’ the center of the opposite side of that peculiar planet.
22.262-3	“When I first constated that strange phenomenon occurring on that remarkably peculiar planet of yours, I at once thought that in all probability it contained the germ for the arising of some subsequent misfortune on a great common cosmic scale, and when I afterwards collected statistics concerning that abnormal phenomenon, this first apprehension of mine very soon more and more grew in me. “And it grew chiefly because, in my statistics, one item concerning that phenomenon there showed an increase in every decade. “The said item concerning those Tibetan elevations referred just to this: which of the terrestrial, as they are called ‘planetary tremors,’ or as this is expressed by your favorites, ‘earthquakes,’ occur to that planet due to these excessively lofty elevations.
22.264	“If you please, if you please, your Right Reverence,” Ahoon interrupted Beelzebub, and rattled off the following: “Allow me to report to you, your Right Reverence, some information which I happened to pick up concerning just that growth of those same Tibetan mountains about which you have deigned to speak. “Just before our flight from the planet Karatas,” continued Ahoon, “I had the pleasure of meeting the Archangel Viloyer, the Governor of our solar system, and His Splendiferousness condescended to recognize me and to speak to me.
22.265	“So, dear Ahoon,” commented Beelzebub, and he added, “Thank you for this information…. Glory be to our CREATOR… what you have just said will probably help to destroy in my presence the anxiety which arose in me when I first constated the abnormal growth of those said Tibetan mountains, namely, my anxiety for the complete disappearance from the Universe of the precious memory of our Endlessly Revered Wisest of the Wise, Mullah Nassr Eddin.”
22.265	Having said this, and giving his face its usual expression, Beelzebub continued thus:
22.265	“Through that region now called Tibet, we then continued our route, encountering hardships of every kind, and finally came to the source of the river called the Keria-chi and a few days later, sailing down to the Sea of Beneficence, we came to our ship Occasion.
22.265	“Although after this third descent of mine to your planet Earth, I did not go there in person for a considerable time, nevertheless, from time to time I attentively observed these favorites of yours, through my big Teskooano.
22.265-6	“And I had no reason for a long time to go there personally on account of the following: “After returning to the planet Mars I soon became interested there in a work which the three-brained beings of the planet Mars were just then carrying out on the surface of their planet.
22.266	“Clearly to understand in what work it was there that I became interested, you must know, first of all, that the planet Mars is for the system Ors, to which it belongs, what is called a ‘Mdnel-outian’ link in the transformation of cosmic substances, in consequence of which it has what is called a ‘Keskestasantnian-firm-surface,’ that is to say, one half of its surface consists of land-presence and the other of ‘Saliakooriapnian’ masses; or, as your favorites would say, one half of it is land or one continuous continent, and the other half is covered with water.
22.266	“So, my boy, as the three-brained beings of the planet Mars use for their first being-food exclusively only ‘prosphora’—or as your favorites call it, ‘bread’—they, for the purpose of obtaining it, sow on the land of half of their planet what is called ‘wheat,’ and as this wheat derives the moisture it needs, for what is called evolving Djartklom, only from what is called ‘dew,’ the result is that a grain of wheat yields only a seventh part of the accomplished process of the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh, that is to say, what is called the ‘yield’ of the harvest is only a seventh.
22.266	“As this amount of wheat was insufficient for their needs, while to get more of it they would have to utilize the presence of the planetary Saliakooriap, the three-centered beings there from the very beginning of our arrival there were always talking of conducting that same Saliakooriap in the requisite quantity, from the opposite side of their planet to that side on which their being-existence proceeded.
22.266-7	“And when several of their years later they finally decided the question and began making every preparation, they began operations just before my return from the planet Earth, that is to say, they began digging special canals for conducting the Saliakooriap.
22.267	“So, my boy, this work being extremely complicated, the beings of the planet Mars had invented and continued to invent for the work every kind of machine and appliance. “And as there were very many peculiar and interesting ones among these machines and appliances they invented, I, being always interested in every kind of new invention, was very much taken by the said work of the beings of the planet Mars.
22.267	“By the courtesy of the kind Martians I then spent nearly all my time at these works, and that is why during that period I very seldom descended to the other planets of that solar system.
22.267	“Only sometimes I flew to the planet Saturn to rest, to Gornahoor Harharkh, who, during this time, had already become my real essence-friend, and thanks to whom I had such a marvel as that big Teskooano of mine which, as I have already told you, brought remote visibilities 7,000,285 times nearer.”
	23 The Fourth Personal Sojourn of Beelzebub on the Planet Earth
23.268	Beelzebub continued thus:
23.268	“I descended for the fourth time to that planet Earth owing to the request of my essence-friend Gornahoor Harharkh.
23.268	“I must first of all tell you that after I had met this Gornahoor Harharkh and had become friendly with him, I always, during our ‘subjective exchange of opinions,’ whenever we again met, shared my impressions with him about the strange psyche of the three-centered beings of that planet of yours. “And the result of these exchanges of opinion of ours concerning your favorites was that he finally also became so interested in them that he once even very seriously asked me to keep him always informed, even if only approximately, of my observations of them, and thereafter I sent to him, just as I did to your uncle Tooilan, copies of all my brief-notes concerning the strange particularities of their psyche.
23.268	“I have already told you that after my third personal descent to your planet, I occasionally for a rest ascended to the planet Saturn to this friend of mine. “When during these flights to him I had become convinced of his great learning, the idea once arose in me to invite him to descend on our ship Occasion to the planet Mars, in order there, on the spot, to help me personally with his knowledge in the details of arranging my observatory which was just then being completed.
23.269	“Here I might as well emphasize the fact that if this observatory of mine afterwards became famous and indeed the best of all the constructions of its kind in the whole of the Universe, I am chiefly indebted to the learning of this same essence-friend of mine.
23.270	“The result of this ‘exchange of opinions’ of ours was that I undertook to descend onto the surface of that planet and to bring back to the planet Saturn a certain number of the beings called there ‘apes,’ in order to carry out certain elucidating experiments with them concerning the fact we had noticed and which had then surprised us.”
23.270	At this point of Beelzebub’s tales, he was given a “Leitoochanbros,” that is, a special metal plate on which is recorded the text of an etherogram received from somewhere or other, the addressee having only to hold it to his perceptive hearing organ to hear everything communicated in it.
23.270	When Beelzebub had in this way heard the contents of the Leitoochanbros handed to him, he turned to his grandson and said:
23.271	“You see, my boy, what coincidences occur in our Great Universe. “The contents of this etherogram concern just your favorites in connection with these terrestrial beings I have just mentioned, that is, these apes. “It has been sent to me from the planet Mars, and among other things there is communicated in it that the three-centered beings of the planet Earth have again begun to revive what is called the ‘Ape question.’
23.275	“During that same period many of your three-brained favorites who chanced to survive, together with various one-brained and two-brained beings of other forms, unexpectedly struck upon other newly-formed terra firmas in entirely new places unfamiliar to them. “It was just at this period that many of these strange Keschapmartnian three-brained beings of active and passive sex, or, as they say, ‘men’ and ‘women,’ were compelled to exist for some years there apart, that is to say, without the opposite sex.
23.281	“And indeed, my boy, when during the period of my last personal stay on the planet Earth, I chanced during my travels to meet with the said various independent species of apes, and when, by a habit which has become second nature, I also observed them, I constated very definitely that the whole of the inner functioning and what are called the ‘automatic posture’ of each separate species of these contemporary apes there are exactly like those present in the whole of the presences of some normally arisen quadruped being there, and that even what are called their ‘facial features’ very definitely resemble those of the said quadrupeds; but on the other hand that what are called the ‘psychic features’ of all the separate species of these apes there are absolutely identical, even down to details, with those of the psyche of the three-brained beings there of the ‘female sex.’”
23.281	At this point of his tales, Beelzebub made a long pause and looking at his favorite Hassein with a smile which very clearly expressed a double meaning, he, continuing to smile, said:
23.281	“In the text of the etherogram which I have just received, it is further said that in order this time finally to settle who has descended from whom—whether they from the apes or the apes from them—these freaks, your favorites, have even decided to carry out ‘scientific experiments,’ and furthermore that several of them have already left for the continent of Africa where many of these apes breed, with the object of bringing back from there the number required for these ‘scientific investigations’ of theirs.
23.281-2	“To judge by this etherogram, the beings of the planet Earth who have taken your fancy are again, in their turn, up to their ‘extraordinary tricks.’
23.282-3	“You remember I told you that my first descent in person upon the surface of that planet of yours took place on account of one of the young beings of our tribe, who then had no desire to stay there any longer but returned with us to the planet Mars, where he later became a very good chief over all the beings of our tribe existing on that planet, and who is now already the chief over all the beings in general of our tribe who for various reasons still exist on certain planets of that system Ors.
23.283	“Well then, my boy, when I left that system, I presented my famous observatory to him with everything in it, and in gratitude for this he promised to report every month, according to the time-calculation of the planet Mars, all the more important events occurring on the planets of that system. “And now this chief keeps me very accurately informed of the most important events proceeding on all the planets on which there is a being-existence; and, knowing my great interest in the three-brained beings breeding on the planet Earth, he does his best, as I now see, to elucidate and send me information concerning all those manifestations of theirs which can give me now also the possibility of being constantly informed of the whole process of the ordinary existence of these three-brained beings, even though I find myself already inaccessibly remote even for their featherweight thoughts.
23.283	“That chief of our beings who remains there collects the various kinds of information he communicates concerning the three-brained beings of the planet Earth, either by means of his own observations of them through the great Teskooano which I left him, or from reports which, in their turn, are communicated to him by those three beings of our own tribe who chose to exist forever on the planet Earth, and all three of whom have at the present time on the continent of Europe different substantial independent undertakings indispensable for everyone existing there under the prevailing conditions.
23.284	“One of them has in one of the large cities, an ‘undertaker’s business’; the second, in another large city, has a bureau for what are called matchmaking and divorce; and the third is the proprietor of many offices founded by himself in various cities for what is called ‘money exchange.’
23.284	“Well, then, upon this the fourth flight of mine to the planet Earth, our ship Occasion descended onto the sea called the ‘Red Sea.’ “And we descended upon this Sea because it washed the Eastern shores of that continent where I wished to go, namely, to that continent then called Grabontzi and now called Africa, on which those ape-beings I needed then bred more than on any other of the terra firma parts of the surface of that planet of yours; and also because this sea was at that period particularly convenient for the mooring of our ship Occasion; but what was still more important was that on one of its sides that country was situated which was then called ‘Nilia’ and is now called Egypt, where those beings of our tribe then existed who wished to remain on that planet and with whose help I intended to collect the apes.
23.284	“Well, then, having descended upon the Red Sea, we sailed from the ship Occasion on ‘Epodrenekhs’ to the shore; and afterwards, on camels we came to that town where our beings existed and which was then the capital of the future Egypt. “This capital city was then called Thebes.
23.284-5	“On the very first day of my arrival in the city of Thebes, one of the beings of our tribe existing there told me among other things, in the course of our conversation, that the beings of the Earth of that locality had devised a new system for observing other cosmic concentrations from their planet, and that they were then constructing what was required in order to carry it into effect; and also, as everybody there said, that the convenience and possibilities of this new system were excellent and until then unparalleled on the Earth.
23.285	“And so I decided to postpone for a while my first intention of immediately going further south on that continent to collect the apes I needed, and instead, to go first where the said construction was being made, in order on the spot to become personally acquainted with it from every aspect, and to find out all about it.
23.285	“Well then, the day following our arrival in the city Thebes, accompanied by one of the beings of our tribe who already had many friends there, and also by the chief constructor of the said construction, and of course by our Ahoon also, I went this time on what is called a ‘Choortetev’ down the tributary of that great river now called the ‘Nile.’
23.285	“Near where this river flowed into a large ‘Saliakooriapnian area’ those constructions were just being completed, one part of which then interested me.
23.285-6	“The district itself, where the work was being carried on both for this new, what they called ‘observatory,’ and for several other constructions for the welfare of their being existence, was then called ‘Avazlin’; a few years later it came to be called there ‘Caironana,’ and at the present time it is simply called the ‘outskirts of Cairo.’
23.286	“The mentioned constructions had been begun long before by one of what are called there ‘Pharaohs,’ the name by which the beings of that region called their kings; and at the time of my fourth flight to the Earth and my first visit to this place, the special constructions he had begun were already lacing completed by his grandson, also a Pharaoh.
23.302	“I told you once that just before the second ‘Transapalnian perturbation’ our Party-Pythoness, while prophesying, insisted that all the beings of our tribe should, without delay, migrate for the continuation of their existence on that planet, to a definite part of the surface of that same continent now called Africa. “This definite part of the surface of the continent which the Pythoness indicated, lay just at the source of the said large river Nipilhooatchi where the beings of our tribe existed all the time the said second Transapalnian perturbation lasted, as well as later when everything had gradually resumed its relatively normal state and when most of the surviving beings had then almost forgotten what had happened and had again formed—just as if nothing had occurred to them—one of their famous ‘centers of culture’ in the very center of that future Africa. And it was just when the former members of the society Akhaldan were searching for a suitable place for their permanent existence, that they chanced to meet a number of the beings of our tribe who advised them to migrate to the country further down the said river.
23.302-3	“Our acquaintanceship and our friendly relations with many of the former members of the society Akhaldan had already begun on the continent Atlantis almost from the founding of that society. “Do you remember I told you that when I descended to that planet for the first time and the beings of our tribe assembled in the city of Samlios with my participation in order together to find a way out of the difficult situation that had been created, those general meetings of ours were held in one of the sections of the principal cathedral of the society Akhaldan; and from that time on, good relations were established between many beings of our tribe and certain members of this society?
23.303	“And there in that future Egypt whither both had migrated in the said way, the relations of the beings of our tribe with the authentic former members themselves who chanced to be saved, and also with the descendants of other authentic members, remained uninterrupted and continued almost until the departure of our tribe from your planet.
23.311	“In order, my boy, that the sense of this latter emblem put into the material called there amber, may become quite comprehensible to you, I must add that amber is one of those seven planetary formations, in the arising of which the Omnipresent Active Element Okidanokh takes part with all its three separate, independent, sacred parts, in equal proportion; and in the process of planetary actualization, these intraplanetary and surplanetary formations serve for what is called the ‘impeding’ of the independent flow of these three localized independent sacred parts.”
23.311	At this point of his tale, Beelzebub made a short pause, as if he were thinking about something, and afterwards continued thus:
23.311	“During my narration of what I then saw on a still surviving terra firma part of the surface of your planet among the three-brained beings there, certain of whom were the direct descendants of members of the truly great learned society Akhaldan there, the result of the manifestations of my being-Reason was that, owing to various associative recollections of all kinds of impressions of the perceptions of the visibility of the exterior environment of the said region, which have become fixed in my common presence, there have been gradually revived in me all the scenes and all the associative flow of thoughts of one of these being-experiencings of mine which occurred during my last stay there on my visit just to that same contemporary Egypt, when I once sat absorbed in thought at the foot of one of these constructions, which had chanced to survive from that period, and which is now called there ‘Pyramids.’
23.313-4	“Having accomplished this, I telepathically signalled our ship Occasion which descended to us, it must be said on the first, very dark night; and when we had loaded these ape-beings into that special section of the ship Occasion which had been constructed for Gornahoor Harharkh under his directions, we at once reascended to the planet Mars; and three Martian days later, on the same ship and together with these apes, I ascended to the planet Saturn.
23.314	“Though we had previously decided to carry out the experiments with these apes only on the following year, when they would have become thoroughly acclimatized and orientated to existence under the new conditions, I ascended then to the planet Saturn so soon because at my last personal meeting with Gornahoor Harharkh, I had promised him to be present at his family solemnity which had soon to take place.
	24 Beelzebub’s Flight to the Planet Earth for the Fifth Time
24.315	Beelzebub continued to relate as follows:
24.315	“After my fourth sojourn on the surface of the planet Earth many years again passed.
24.315	“During these years I of course, as before, sometimes attentively observed through my Teskooano the being-existence of these favorites of yours.
24.315	“During this time their number considerably increased and they had already populated almost all the large and small terra firma parts of the surface of this planet of yours; and of course there also continued to proceed among them their chief particularity, namely, from time to time they destroyed each other’s existence.
24.315	“During this time, that is to say, between my fourth and fifth visits, great changes occurred to the surface of your planet; many changes also occurred there in the concentrations of the places of settlement of these favorites of yours. For example, all those centers-of-culture of theirs on the continent Ashhark where I had been in person during my previous descents upon the Earth, namely, the countries of Tikliamish and Maralpleicie, had by the time of my fifth arrival there entirely ceased to exist.
24.315	“The cause of the destruction of these centers-of-culture of theirs and of the changes on the surface of this planet in general, was again a misfortune, the third for this ill-fated planet.
24.318	“And so, my boy, this fifth descent of mine in person to your planet belongs to the period of the time after this said redistribution of the groups of the communities of these favorites of yours.
24.318	“And the causes of my descent there in person were the following events:
24.318	“And so, my boy, in order to have more material for elucidating this question which interested me so intensely, I, in the interval between my fourth and fifth sojourn on the planet Earth, organized my observations through the Teskooano from the planet Mars of the existence of those peculiar three-brained beings in the following way:
24.318-9	“I deliberately kept under observation quite a number of their beings from among your favorites and during many of their years either I personally or somebody whom I commissioned observed them attentively, trying as much as possible not to miss anything, and to clear up from every aspect all the particularities in their manifestations during the processes of their ordinary existence.
24.320	“To be able more or less clearly to represent to yourself the rate at which the length of their existence declined during this time, it is enough for you to know that when I left this solar system for ever, the maximum length of their existence was already from seventy to ninety of their years.
24.320	“And so, my boy, since, at the time when I suddenly constated such a fact there, I had no special business on the planet Mars and it was quite impossible to try to probe this novel peculiarity by means of the Teskooano, I therefore decided to go there myself in order perhaps to clear up for myself there on the spot the causes of this also.
24.320-1	“At the time of this fifth descent of mine in person to your planet, their ‘center-for-the-incoming-and-the-outgoing-results-of-the-perfecting-of-being-rumination’ or, as they themselves call it, their ‘Center-of-Culture’ was already the city of Babylon; so it was just there that I decided to go.
24.321	“This time our ship Occasion alighted on what is called the ‘Persian Gulf’ because we had ascertained through the Teskooano before our flight that for our further traveling, that is, to reach the town of Babylon and also for the mooring of our ship Occasion itself, the most convenient place would be that same Saliakooriapnian space of the surface of your planet now existing there under the name of the Persian Gulf.
24.328	During this last explanation Hassein interrupted Beelzebub with the following words:
24.328	“Dear Grandfather, I do not understand why the issuing of the required vibrations for the purpose of the actualization of this most great cosmic process should depend on a definite region of the surface of the planet.”
24.328	To this question of his grandson, Beelzebub replied as follows:
24.328	“As before long I intend to make the special question of those terrifying processes of reciprocal destruction which they call ‘wars’ the theme of my tales concerning the three-brained beings of the planet Earth, it is better to defer this question of yours also until this special tale, because then, I think, you will understand it well.”
24.328	Having said this, Beelzebub again continued to relate about the Babylonian events.
24.328	“When the peculiar Persian king I mentioned began, thanks to the hordes in subjection to him, to conquer beings of other communities and to seize by force the learned among them, he assigned as a place for their congregation and existence the said city of Babylon, to which they were taken in order that this lord of half the then continent of Asia could thereafter freely examine them in the hope that one of them might perhaps happen to know the secret of turning cheap metal into the metal gold.
24.328	“With the same aim he even made at that time a special what is called ‘campaign’ into the country Egypt.
24.331	“In short, my boy, when we arrived in the city of Babylon there was then proceeding what is called the ‘Building-of-the-Tower-of-Babel.’”
24.331	Having uttered these latter words, Beelzebub became a little thoughtful and then continued as follows:
24.331	“Now I wish to explain to you about the expression I just used, namely, the ‘Building-of-the-Tower-of-Babel.’ This expression is very often used on your planet by the contemporary three-brained beings there also.
24.342	Here Hassein could not restrain himself, and suddenly interrupted with the following words:
24.342	“And which of their manifestations do they consider good, and which bad?”
24.342	Beelzebub looked at his grandson with a very strange look and, shaking his head, said as follows:
	25 The Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash, Sent from Above to the Earth
25.349	“When I was personally on the surface of your planet for the last time, I happened by chance to become acquainted with the Legominism which transmits to the initiated men-beings of the planet Earth of remote generations these deliberations of the Saintly Ashiata Shiemash under the title of ‘The Terror-of-the-Situation.’
25.349	“The Legominism was of great assistance to me in elucidating certain strange aspects of the psyche of these peculiar beings—just those strange aspects of their psyche which, with all my careful observations of them during tens of centuries, I had previously been unable to understand in any way whatsoever.”
25.349	“My dear and beloved Grandfather, tell me, please, what does the word Legominism mean?” Hassein asked.
25.349	“This word Legominism,” replied Beelzebub, “is given to one of the means existing there of transmitting from generation to generation information about certain events of long-past ages, through just those three-brained beings who are thought worthy to be and who are called initiates.
25.350-1	“Well then, my boy, Legominism is the name given to the successive transmission of information about long-past events which have occurred on the planet Earth from initiates to initiates of the first kind, that is, from really meritorious beings who have themselves received their information from similar meritorious beings.
	26 The Legominism Concerning the Deliberations of the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash Under the Title of “The Terror-of-the-Situation”
26.353	“The ‘Legominism,’” Beelzebub continued to speak, “through which the deliberations of the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash were transmitted, had the following contents: “It began with the prayer:
26.353	“‘In the name of the causes of my arising, I shall always strive to be just towards every already spiritualized origination, and towards all the originations of the future spiritualized manifestations of OUR COMMON CREATOR, ALMIGHTY AUTOCRAT ENDLESSNESS, Amen.
26.360	“So, my boy, when, as I have already told you, early in my last descent in person onto the surface of your planet, I first became acquainted in detail with this Legominism which I have just repeated, and had at once become interested in the deductions of this later Most High Very Saintly Common Cosmic Individual Ashiata Shiemash, there existed neither any other Legominisms nor any other sources of information concerning His further Very Saintly Activities among those favorites of yours, so I then decided to investigate in detail and without fail to make clear to myself which were the measures He took and how He subsequently actualized them, in order to help these unfortunates to deliver themselves from the consequences of the properties of the organ Kundabuffer which had passed to them by heredity and were so maleficent for them.
26.360-1	“And so, as one of my chief tasks during this last sojourn of mine in person there, on the surface of your planet, I made a detailed investigation and elucidation of the whole of the further Very Saintly Activities there among your favorites of that Great Essence-loving now Most High Very Saintly Common Cosmic Individual Ashiata Shiemash.
26.361	“And as regards that ‘marble tablet’ which has by chance survived since the time of the Very Saintly Activities of the Great Ashiata Shiemash, and is now there the principal sacred relic of the brotherhood of the initiated beings called the Brotherhood-Olbogmek, I happened to see and read the contents engraved on it during this last sojourn of mine there.
	27 The Organization for Man’s Existence Created by the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash
27.366	Beelzebub continued to relate further as follows:
27.366	“My further researches and investigations also cleared up for me that after the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash had pondered on the mountain Veziniama and had formulated in his mind a definite plan for his further Most Saintly Activities, he did not again return to the city of Babylon but went straight to the capital city Djoolfapal of the country then called Kurlandtech, which was situated in the middle of the continent Asia.
27.381	“The point is, that, through my Teskooano from the planet Mars, I could freely observe without any difficulty whatsoever, the existence proceeding on the surfaces of the other planets of that solar system, but making my observations of the process of the existence proceeding on the surface of your planet was, owing to the special coloration of its atmosphere, a real misery.
	29 The Fruits of Former Civilizations and the Blossoms of the Contemporary
29.413	According to the associative flow of my tales concerning the three-brained beings breeding on the planet Earth who have taken your fancy, I must now, my boy, without fail explain to you a little more about those two powerful communities there named ‘Greeks’ and ‘Romans,’ who made a ‘clean sweep’ from the surface of that ill-fated planet of even the memory of the results obtained from the Most Saintly Labors of the Essence-loving Ashiata Shiemash.
29.415	“And having during my investigations repeatedly constated that a fundamental cause of the various abnormalities of the general psyche of the contemporary beings was what is called ‘civilization’ sown by those two large groups of beings called Greeks and Romans, I was obliged to inquire into certain details about them also.
29.415	“But as I was fully occupied at that time with my researches concerning the activities of the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash, I commissioned the elucidation of the history of the arising of these two independent groupings of your favorites—in respect of what is called, their ‘subjective-being-Being’—to that same being of our tribe who as I have already told you, still carries on an ‘undertaker’s business’ in a large city on the continent of Europe down to the present time.
29.441	“During my stay there among them, I personally very often constated their ‘dying-by-thirds.’
29.447	“During my stay there for the last time, I myself personally met several of these terrestrial contemporary three-brained beings who were already two, three, and even about four of their centuries old. I met them mostly among a small ‘brotherhood’ of the three-brained beings there, composed of beings from almost all of their what are called ‘religions,’ and whose permanent place of existence was in the middle of the continent Asia.
	30 Art
30.449	At THIS place of his tales, Beelzebub became silent and turning suddenly to his old servant Ahoon, who was also sitting there listening to him with the same attention as his grandson Hassein, he said:
30.449	“And you, old man, are you also listening to me with the same interest as our Hassein? Weren’t you yourself personally with me everywhere on that planet Earth and didn’t you see with your own eyes and sense for yourself everything about what I am relating to Hassein?
30.449	When Beelzebub had finished speaking, Ahoon, having thought a while, replied:
30.449	And then, with an unusual seriousness and preserving the style and even entire expressions of Beelzebub himself, he continued:
30.450	Thereupon, addressing Beelzebub himself, he, with a timid look and in a hesitant tone, continued to speak:
30.451	With an affectionate glance, Beelzebub looked at him and said:
30.451	“Thank you, old man, for reminding me of this. It is true that I have scarcely even mentioned that indeed harmful factor—created also by them themselves—for the final atrophy even of those data for their being-mentation which by chance have still survived.
30.451	“All the same, old man, though it’s true that I have not so far once referred to it, that does not mean that I have not considered it at all. Having still a good deal of time before us during the period of our traveling, I should in all probability, in the course of my subsequent tales to our common favorite Hassein, have remembered in its time about that of which you have reminded me.
30.451	“However, perhaps it will be very opportune to speak just now about this contemporary terrestrial art because, as you said, during our fifth stay there in person, I was really a witness of the events which gave rise to the causes of this contemporary evil there and which arose, thanks, as always, to the same learned beings there who assembled in the city of Babylon from almost the whole of the surface of that ill-fated planet.”
30.451	Having said this, Beelzebub then turned to Hassein and spoke as follows:
30.451-2	“This same already definite idea there, now existing there under the denomination art is, at the present time for those unhappy favorites of yours, one of those automatically acting data the totality of which of itself gradually, and though almost imperceptibly yet very surely, converts them—that is, beings having in their presences every possibility for becoming particles of a part of Divinity—merely into what is called ‘living flesh.’
30.456-7	“As I learned after my enrollment as a member of that club, all the learned beings had arranged on the very first day of its opening a general meeting at which it was unanimously resolved to hold daily general meetings, when reports and discussions on the two following questions were to be made: namely, the measures to be taken by the members of the club on their return home for the collection of all the Legominisms existing in their native lands, and for placing them at the disposal of the learned members of this club which they had founded; and secondly, what was to be done in order that the Legominisms might be transmitted to remote generations by some other means than only through initiates.
30.457	“Before my enrollment as a member of the club, a great variety of reports and discussions concerning these two mentioned questions had already proceeded at that general meeting of theirs; and on the day of my entry a great deal was said on the question how to obtain the participation in the main task of the club of initiated beings, of the followers of those so-called ‘Ways’ then called ‘Onandjiki,’ ‘Shamanists,’ ‘Buddhists,’ and so on.
30.457	“Well then, on the third day after my enrollment as a member of this club, there was uttered for the first time that word which has chanced to reach contemporary beings there and which has become one of the potent factors for the total atrophy of all the still surviving data for more or less normal logical being-mentation, namely, the word ‘art’ which was then used in a different sense and whose definition referred to quite a different idea and had quite another meaning.
30.491	“And so, my boy, after all I have already related about this terrestrial contemporary famous art, I imagine you have enough to understand why and how, during the period of my fifth stay in person on your planet, I happened to be a witness of the events of the causes of its arising and in what connection and with what meaning it was pronounced for the first time just then at that period which your contemporary favorites call the ‘Babylonian civilization.’
30.492	“When during the period of my sixth and last stay there in person, I heard everywhere about this contemporary art of theirs and came in contact with its results, and when I made clear to myself just what it was all about, then having recalled my Babylonian friends of that time and about their good intentions toward their remote descendants, I made clear to myself more in detail as opportunities occurred just which results were obtained from all that of which I happened then to be a witness, and about which I have just been telling you.
30.492	“Initiating you now into the impressions, hidden from strangers and which became fixed in my common presence, and which were the result of my conscious perceptions during my last stay there in person on the surface of your planet concerning this contemporary art of theirs, my ‘I’ with an arisen and profound being-impulse of regret must now emphatically state that of all the fragments of knowledge already attained by the beings of the Babylonian civilization—which fragments, it must be allowed, also contained a great deal—absolutely nothing has reached the beings of contemporary civilization for the benefit of their ordinary being-existence, apart from a few ‘empty words’ without any inner content.
30.511	At this point of the tales, Beelzebub was interrupted by Ahoon with the following words:
30.511	“Your Right Reverence: all your explanations concerning terrestrial art and those three-brained beings there who now practice it and are so to say its representatives, and particularly your elucidations concerning the contemporary ‘comedians’ there or actors, have suggested to me to use all the impressions fixed in my common presence which I took in during my last stay on the surface of this planet Earth, which has taken our dear Hassein’s fancy, and to give him a good piece of very practical advice.”
30.511	Having said this, Ahoon intended to look expectantly at the face of Beelzebub with his usual glance, that is without blinking for a long time, but as soon as he had noticed his usual, though always sorrowful yet kind and indulgent smile, he, without waiting for the requested permission, and as if confused, at once turned this time to Hassein and spoke as follows:
30.512	And this time, again keeping the style and intonations of Beelzebub himself, he continued:
30.517	And then he turned to Beelzebub himself with the following words:
30.517	“Please tell me, kind Grandfather. Is it really possible that nothing has resulted from the intentions and efforts of those Babylonian learned beings and that indeed, nothing whatsoever has passed of those fragments of knowledge which were already then known on the Earth to the contemporary three-brained beings of that strange planet?”
30.517	At this question of his grandson, Beelzebub said as follows:
30.517	“To the great sorrow of everything existing in the Universe, scarcely anything has survived, my boy, from the results of their labors, and hence nothing has become the property of your contemporary favorites.
30.517	“The information they indicated in the said manner passed from generation to generation, only, in all, for a few of their succeeding centuries. “Thanks to their chief particularity, namely, to the ‘periodic-process-of-reciprocal-destruction,’ there almost wholly disappeared from amongst the ordinary beings there, soon after the period of the ‘Babylonian-magnificence,’ not only the Legominism concerning the keys to the lawful inexactitudes in the Law of Sevenfoldness contained in each of the branches of the ‘being-Afalkalna’ and ‘Soldjinoha,’ but, as I have already told you, there gradually also disappeared even the very notion of the Universal Law of the holy Heptaparaparshinokh, which in Babylon they then called the Law of Sevenfoldness.
30.523	At this place in Beelzebub’s tale the hoofs of all the passengers of the transspace ship Karnak suddenly, as it were, radiated from themselves “something phosphorescent.”
30.523	This meant that the ship Karnak was nearing the place of her destination, that is the planet Revozvradendr. Hence, a bustling movement began among the passengers preparing to descend from the ship.
30.523	Beelzebub, Hassein, and Ahoon ended their conversation and hurriedly began to prepare themselves also.
30.523	The phosphorescent gleaming of the hoofs was obtained because, concentrated in a particular proportion, there were directed from the engine room to that part of the ship the holy parts of the sacred Omnipresent Okidanokh.
	31 The Sixth and Last Sojourn of Beelzebub on the Planet Earth
31.524	When after two “Ornakres”¹ the cosmic intersystem ship Karnak had left the spheres of the atmosphere of the planet Revozvradendr and began to fall back in the direction of the solar system ‘Pandetznokh’ onto the planet Karatas, Hassein, having sat down in his usual place, addressed Beelzebub with the following words:
31.524	“My dear and beloved Grandfather… be kind as always and tell me something more about the three-centered beings breeding on that planet which is called Earth.”
31.524	In reply to this, Beelzebub related about his sixth and last visit on the planet Earth.
31.524	He began thus: “I was on that planet for the sixth time just before I received my full pardon and permission to leave that most remote solar system situated even almost beyond the reach of the immediate emanations of the Omni Most Holy Sun Absolute, that is, just before my return here to the center of the Universe to the place of my arising, to the immediate bosom of our COMMON UNI-BEING-ENDLESSNESS.
31.524	“This time, circumstances unexpectedly so came about that I had to exist there among these peculiar beings a fairly long time, namely, a little less than a year of our time, or, by the time calculation there, more than three hundred years.
31.528	“Several Martian days later I just flew there, as always on the same ship Occasion.
31.528	“We decided to descend this time onto the continent Asia near the locality called Afghanistan,’ since before we had flown off, we had made it clear through our Teskooano that the ‘turn-of-the-process-of-reciprocal-destruction’ was proceeding at that time in just the said country.
31.528	“Having descended onto the locality near this Afghanistan, we decided to send our ship Occasion for mooring somewhere further from those places where your favorites had recently been breeding.
31.528	“You must know that to find a suitable mooring place for our ship Occasion on the surface of your planet has already in recent times become anything but easy, since your favorites have furnished themselves with very many kinds of contrivances for what is called ‘marine locomotion,’ which contrivances they also call ships, and these ships of theirs are constantly flitting about in all directions, mostly around the continents.
31.528	“We had, it is true, the possibility of making our ship Occasion invisible to their organs of perception of visibility, but we could not annihilate its presence, and without this it could not remain stationary on the water because of the constant danger that their ships might bump into it.
31.528-9	“Well, for this reason we this time decided to send our ship for mooring to what is called the ‘North Pole,’ where their ships have as yet no possibility of going.
31.529	“While we were descending onto the surface of this planet of yours, the process of reciprocal destruction which had been proceeding in Afghanistan finished; but all the same, I remained to exist near this Afghanistan, as it was just on that part of the continent Asia that at that period these processes of theirs most frequently proceeded.
31.529	“As I now commence the narration of the information elucidating the state of the results already obtained from every cause in the common presences of the three-brained beings of the planet Earth, which pleases you, my essence prompts me and animates my ‘I’ and all the separately spiritualized parts of my common presence to emphasize, first of all, that during this last personal sojourn of mine on the surface of your planet I had to study very seriously and even to elucidate experimentally the details not only of the psyche of single individuals of your favorites taken separately, but likewise the perceptions and manifestations of the psyche of these single individuals taken in a general mass—dependently upon the combinations of surrounding conditions and the results brought forth by them and also upon their mutual reactions.
31.529-30	“For the purpose of these elucidating experiments of mine I was even obliged this time to have recourse to the help of those branches of general knowledge which we call ‘Samonoltooriko,’ ‘Gasometronoltooriko,’ and ‘Sakookinoltooriko,’ that is, to those branches the similarities to which are found among your favorites also, these specialties being named ‘medicine,’ ‘physiology,’ and ‘hypnotism.’
31.530	“Just at the beginning of this sixth personal sojourn of mine I soon categorically made clear, thanks to my experimental investigations, that most of the causes of the strangeness of their psyche are found not in that usual consciousness of theirs, in which alone they have already automatized themselves to exist in what is called their waking state, but in that consciousness of theirs which, thanks to their abnormal ordinary being-existence, was gradually driven within their common presence and which although it should have been their real consciousness, yet remains in them in its primitive state and is called their ‘subconsciousness.’
31.530	“When I had chosen as the place of my fundamental existence the locality in the center of the continent Asia called ‘Turkestan,’ I not only went from there to the places where the processes which interested me proceeded, but during the pauses or lulls in these processes I also traveled a great deal, visiting almost all the continents, and during these travels I encountered beings of most, as they say, ‘peoples.’
31.530-1	“During these travels of mine I remained nowhere for long excepting in certain independent countries on the continent Asia called ‘China,’ ‘India,’ ‘Tibet,’ and of course also that lately largest half-Asiatic half-European community called ‘Russia.’
31.531	“In the beginning I devoted all the time I had free from observations and investigations concerning the chief aim which I had set myself for this time, to the study of languages there, in order to have greater possibilities of better establishing everywhere corresponding relations with the beings of all ‘types,’ belonging to every kind of their ‘peoples’ there.
31.532	“Even I, who had then learned perfectly eighteen of their different languages, found myself during my travels under conditions at times where I had not even the possibility of getting fodder for my horse, in spite of the fact that my pockets were full of what is called there ‘money,’ for which in general they will give you with the greatest joy there anything you please.
31.554	“On account of this new word of theirs, even our Ahoon, in spite of his having an incomparably more normal presence, and being clothed with a being-reason of higher quality, had while we were there a very disagreeable, even an almost idiotic misunderstanding.
31.554	“As for the rest, it will in my opinion be much better if he tells you about it himself.”
31.554	Having said this, Beelzebub addressed himself to Ahoon in the following words:
31.554	“Tell us, old man, how this then happened and what made you for several days the whole time ‘Skoohiatchiny’ and ‘Tsirikooakhtz,’ or as the three-brained beings of the planet Earth would say, made you just ‘grumble’ and be ‘irritable’ like your friend there, Dame Bess.”
31.554	To this Ahoon, again imitating the style of Beelzebub and this time even his very intonation, began to relate as follows:
31.557	“That you may the better understand the significance of the contemporary physicians on your planet, it is also necessary to tell you of the saying of our highly esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin concerning these same contemporary physicians.
31.557	“He speaks of them thus: ‘For our sins, God has sent us two kinds of physicians, one kind to help us die, and the other to prevent us living.’”
31.557	¹ An “Ornakre” is approximately equal to that period of the flow of time which on Earth we would define as a “month.”
	32 Hypnotism
32.558	“And so,” Beelzebub continued, “at this sixth sojourn of mine in person on the surface of that planet Earth of yours, I decided to settle there for a long stay and to become a professional physician there. I did indeed become one, only not such a physician as most of them are there, but I chose for myself the profession of what is called there ‘physician-hypnotist.’
32.558	“I became such a professional there firstly because during recent centuries only such physician-professionals there obtain an entree to all their ‘classes’ or ‘castes’ of which I spoke, and, since they enjoy great confidence and authority, ordinary beings are disposed to a sincerity towards them that permits them to penetrate, as is said there, their ‘inner world.’
32.558	“Secondly, I decided to become such a professional, in order, also parallel with the attainments of my personal aims, to have the possibility at the same time of giving genuine medical assistance to certain of those unfortunates.
	33 Beelzebub as Professional Hypnotist
33.579	Beelzebub continued to relate further as follows:
33.579	“When I existed among your favorites as a professional hypnotist I made my elucidating experiments upon their psyche chiefly by means of that said particular state of theirs, which the contemporary beings there call the ‘hypnotic state.’
33.579	“For bringing them into this state, I had at first recourse to the same means by which the beings of the period of the Tikliamishian civilization brought each other into this state, namely, by acting upon them with my own Hanbledzoïn.
33.579	“But when later there often began to arise in my common presence the being-impulse called ‘love-of-kind,’ and, apart from my personal aims, I had to produce this said state in very many three-brained beings there for their personal benefit, and as this means proved very harmful for my being-existence, I invented another means, thanks to which I obtained the same effect without the expenditure of my own Hanbledzoïn.
33.582	“And so, my boy, I began my activities in the capacity of a physician-hypnotist, as I have already told you, in the center of the continent Asia, in various towns of Turkestan.
33.582	“I was first in the town of that part of Turkestan which later came to be called ‘Chinese Turkestan’ in contradistinction to that part of it which, from the time of its conquest by beings belonging to the large community Russia, has been called ‘Russian Turkestan.’
33.582	“There was a very great need in the towns of Chinese Turkestan for such a physician as I then became, because among the three-brained beings breeding on this part of the surface of this planet of yours there was developed at that period more strongly than usual two forms of their most pernicious what are called ‘organic habits,’ which also had become proper to be acquired in the presences of the beings of that ill-fated planet.
33.582	“As I have just said, at this period of my activities, my existence passed at first chiefly in various towns of Chinese Turkestan, but circumstances so fell out that later I preferred to be in the towns of Russian Turkestan.
33.583	“Well then, while I existed as a physician there among the beings breeding in the towns of Turkestan, I had to work so hard, especially towards the end, that certain functions of my planetary body began to get out of order, and I began to consider therefore how to manage to have the possibility at least for a certain time of doing nothing but only rest.
33.583	“I could of course return to my home on the planet Mars for this purpose, but then there arose before me my personal-individual ‘being-Dimtzoneero,’ that is, my being-duty towards what is called the ‘essence-word’ I had given to myself.
33.583	“And this essence-word I had given myself, when beginning my sixth descent, was to exist there among your favorites until such time as I should finally have made clear to my mind all the facts which were the causes of the gradual formation of the mentioned exclusively strange being-psyche of their common presence.
33.583-4	“Well then, as by that time I had still not fulfilled this essence-word which I had given myself, that is to say, I had not yet had time to learn all the details needed for a full elucidation of the problem, I considered a return to the planet Mars premature.
33.584	“But to remain in this Turkestan and to organize my existence there in such a way as to have the full possibility of giving my planetary body the required rest I could not, in any way, because in almost all the beings there on that part of the surface of your planet, breeding in both Chinese and Russian Turkestan, there had already been crystallized, either through personal perceptions or from the descriptions of others, data for recognizing my appearance; at the same time, each of the ordinary beings of this country wished to speak with me concerning either himself personally or his nearest on account of one of the vices in the deliverance from which I had chanced to become there such an unparalleled specialist.
33.584	“What I then devised and carried out to escape from this situation was the reason why Turkestan—concerning which place there are and will be preserved in my common presence the data then fixed for pleasant memories—ceased to be for me the place of my permanent existence on your planet at the period of this last stay of mine; and thereafter the cities of the ‘famous’ Europe with their cafes with the ‘black liquid’—made of nobody knows what—replaced the towns of Turkestan with their ‘Tchai-kanas’ and their delicious fragrant teas.
33.584	“I decided to go to the country which is a part of the continent Africa and is there called Egypt.
33.584	“I chose this country because Egypt was indeed at that period the best place for resting, and many three-brained beings there possessing what is called ‘material wealth’ went there for that purpose from all the other continents.
33.584-5	“Having arrived there, I settled down in the city called ‘Cairo’ and very soon organized the external form of my ordinary existence in such a way as to have that rest for my planetary body after the said intense and strenuous labors.
33.585	“At my sixth descent, of all the numerous interesting constructions that had previously existed there scarcely anything existed any longer.
33.585	“They had all been destroyed, partly by the beings there themselves, thanks to what are called their ‘wars’ and ‘revolutions,’ and partly they came to be covered by sands.
33.586	“Do you remember that at one time I told you that not one of the achievements of the beings of past generations had ever reached beings of subsequent generations?
33.586	“Well it has become aware in me that I have made a mistake about this.
33.586	“Not once during my preceding tales concerning these beings who have taken your fancy has there ever been recalled in my being-association an event which took place there just one day before my flight forever from the surface of that planet, and which event proves that something after all did reach even your contemporary favorites from among the achievements of the beings of the remote past.
33.586	“The emanations of joy which then arose in me from my pardon by our ALL-JUST CREATOR OMNIPOTENT ENDLESSNESS and from His gracious permission to me to return to the bosom of my first arising must have prevented me from absorbing those impressions sufficiently intensely for there to be in the corresponding part of my general whole such ‘completedly-crystallized’ data as should engender in beings, during being-associations arising from the result of one-sourced manifestations, the repetitions of what has already been sensed.
33.587-8	“And indeed, by the time of my sixth visit to that planet all the beings and everything which had been in this Egypt during my former visit, had entirely ceased to exist and not even any notion of it all was preserved. “But those planetary bodies upon which they employed the mentioned means remained intact and exist there even to the present time.
33.588	“And these surviving planetary bodies are called by the contemporary beings ‘mummies.’
33.588-9	“This definite sacred something would have remained for untold centuries in its pristine state among these three-brained beings who long ago ceased to have any reverence in their essence; but as in the presences of these contemporary, as it is possible to call them, ‘unconscious sacrilegists,’ a criminal passion has arisen that evokes in them a need to despoil even the sanctuaries of beings of past generations, they dug down even into this chamber which ought to have been for them a profoundly revered sanctuary, and they committed that blasphemous deed whose result is now the cause of my becoming aware with all my being of my mistake—of just that mistake I made when I so confidently assured you that nothing whatever had reached the beings of the contemporary civilization from the beings of epochs long past; whereas this said contemporary Egyptian event is a consequence of one result which reached them of the attainments of these ancient ancestors of theirs who used to exist on the continent Atlantis.
33.589-90	“Perhaps, my dear Hassein, you already know, like all the responsible beings of our Great Universe, and even those still only at the period of the second half of their preparation to become such, even without regard to the degree of their being-rumination, that the common presence of the planetary body of every being and in general of any other ‘relatively independent’ great or small cosmic unit must consist of all the three localized sacred substance-forces of the holy Triamazikamno, namely, of the substance-forces of the Holy-Affirming, Holy-Denying, and Holy-Reconciling, and that it must be sustained by them all the time in a corresponding and balanced state; and if for some reason or other, there enters into any presence a superfluity of the vibrations of any one of these three sacred forces, then infallibly and unconditionally, the sacred Rascooarno must occur to it, that is the total destruction of its ordinary existence as such. Well, my boy, because there had arisen in the presences of your contemporary favorites, as I have already told you, their further criminal need to despoil the sanctuaries of their ancestors, and certain of them with the purpose of satisfying their criminal needs even forced open in the mentioned way the hermetically closed rooms, then the sacred substance-force of the Holy-Reconciling existing in these rooms localized in a separate state, having had not sufficient time to blend with the space, entered into their presences and actualized its property proper to it according to Law.
33.590	“The program of my external existence in this said Egypt included among other things, the practice of taking a walk every morning in the direction of what are called the ‘Pyramids’ and ‘Sphinx.’
33.590	“These Pyramids and Sphinx were the sole, chance, poor surviving remains of those magnificent constructions which were erected by the generations of the most great Akhaldans and by the Great Ancestors of the beings of this said Egypt, and of which I was a witness at my fourth sojourn on this planet of yours.
33.590	“I failed to have a thorough rest in this Egypt because of circumstances which soon led me to depart from there; and the circumstances that led to my premature departure from Egypt were, strictly speaking, the reason why the towns of dear Turkestan with their pleasant ‘Tchai-kanas’ were replaced as I have already told you by the cities of their famous contemporary cultured continent Europe with the not less famous ‘cafe-restaurants,’ in which, as I have already told you, instead of fragrant teas they offer you a black liquid consisting of nobody knows what.”
	34 Russia
34.591	“Once, walking one morning by the said Pyramids, a certain elderly being, a stranger, and in exterior appearance not a native, approached me, and greeting me in the manner customary there, addressed me with the following words:
34.591	“‘Doctor! You will perhaps do me the kindness to allow me to be your companion on your morning walks? I have noticed that you always walk in this neighborhood alone. I am also very fond of walking here of a morning and as I, too, am quite alone here in Egypt, I venture to propose to you that I should accompany you on these walks of yours.’
34.591	“Since the vibrations of his radiations in relation to mine appeared not acutely ‘Otkalooparnian,’ or, as your favorites in such a case would say, ‘since he appeared to be sympathetic,’ and furthermore because I myself had already thought of establishing here also corresponding mutual relations with someone, in order as a rest from active mentation to converse sometimes by following only the course of freely flowing associations, I at once agreed to his proposition and from that day forth began to spend the time of my morning strolls with him.
34.595	“After this talk with the important Russian being, I soon got ready, and several days after left Egypt together with him. Two weeks later we were already in the chief place of existence of this large community, in the town at that time still called ‘Saint Petersburg.’
34.595	“I began, however, during that time, to go about everywhere as is usual for me, and to frequent the beings of this city, belonging to various what are called there ‘classes,’ in order to become acquainted with the characteristic particularities of their manners and customs.
34.595-6	“Well, it was then that I constated, among other things, that in the presences of the beings belonging to just this contemporary community, their, as it is called, ‘Ego-Individuality’ began during the recent centuries to form itself particularly sharply dual.
34.602	“But enough about this. Listen further now to the events in which I happened to take part after my arrival in the chief place of existence of the community Russia, then called Saint Petersburg.
34.611-2	“And so, my boy, as long as I did not yet know that to be occupied with ‘intrigues’ and dodges, or, as sometimes they themselves still express it, ‘mutually-to-get-rid-of-each-other,’ is already unavoidably inherent in power-possessing beings of this community, I still hoped for and patiently awaited that time when eventually the corresponding conditions would give me the possibility of actualizing my fundamental aim, namely, the possibility of proceeding with the ‘elucidatory experiments’ on the psyche of the terrestrial beings en masse. But when it became definitely clear to me that here in this community under the existing conditions of reciprocal relationships it would be impossible for me to succeed in this, and I also became convinced that it was impossible to get one’s own chemical laboratory there honestly, i.e., strictly according to the laws fixed in this community, I decided to remain there no longer, but to depart, in order to seek suitable conditions for my said aim, to some other European community.
34.612	“On the eve of my departure my first acquaintance, the important Russian, came to me unexpectedly and, having sincerely expressed his regret at my departure, begged me very earnestly to postpone it for several days so that after the consecration and opening of the said building he might travel with me and incidentally rest a little from the recent bustle, intrigues, and subterfuges.
34.612	“As I had no special reason to hurry, I agreed and postponed my departure for an indefinite time.
34.613	“Two days later the opening of this building took place and, having the previous evening received what is called ‘an official invitation,’ I betook myself to that ceremony.
34.616-7	“When on the day of my, as they call it, ‘supreme presentation’ I arrived there where the chief of this large community had the place of his residence, I was met at the railway station itself by ‘His High Excellency’ in person, who had arrived there accompanied by five or six of his adjutants, and from that moment he himself began—of course quite without the participation of, as it is called, his ‘personal-subjective-initiative,’ but guided only by automatic habit acquired by him, thanks to the doing of always one and the same thing—to subjugate all my separate spiritualized parts and all the self-manifestations of my common presence, taking it as it were under the directive of his own ‘I.’
34.617	“From this moment, I had, in the sense of my ‘outer manifestations,’ as our esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin would say, to ‘dance in everything to his tune.’
34.617	“As soon as we had left the station and were seated in the carriage, he immediately began to show me and to prompt me as to what and how I had to act and speak and what I had not to do or say.
34.617	“And when later, in that hall where the celebrated presentation took place, he further showed and directed my presence… about this we can neither speak now in the language of a Scheherazade, nor describe it with the pen of a Mr. Canineson.
34.621	“After this unforgettable ‘supreme presentation’ of mine, I very soon left St. Petersburg for other parts of the continent of Europe and began to have as the chief places of my existence various cities of the countries which were situated both on that same continent Europe as well as on other continents. I was again later, many times, but for other affairs, in the same community Russia, where during that period of the flow of time their great process there of reciprocal-destruction took place and the destruction of everything already attained by them, which this time, as I have already told you, was called by them ‘Bolshevism.’
34.640	“On another occasion also there in Egypt, I became a witness of a not less terrifying scene.
34.640-1	“Well, I was a witness of how a crowd of ordinary Egyptian beings began to string onto one of these sacred cables—just like an Asiatic shashlik—the beings, without distinction of sex or age, who up till then had belonged to the ruling class.
34.641	“And the very same night, with the help of forty pairs of buffalo, this original ‘skewer’ was dragged and thrown into the river Nile.
34.641	“I saw such punishment meted out in this spirit, both during my stay personally on the surface of this planet of yours, as well as through the large Teskooano from the planet Mars.
34.641	“If we compare the actions of the former three-brained beings there, who were subject to this ‘psychic state,’ with the actions of these contemporary Bolsheviks, then they, i.e., the contemporary Bolsheviks, ought even to be given praise and thanks that in spite of the fact that the various consequences of the properties of the organ Kundabuffer are infallibly completely crystallized in their common presences—as in general in the presences of contemporary three-brained beings—they, in the very heat of that period when they were entirely ‘puppets’ under the influence of the inevitable cosmic law Solioonensius, manifested themselves with these consequences in such a way that the dead body of the person shot by them could at least be recognized as whose it was, namely, ‘Tom Brown’s and nobody else’s.’”
34.641	In this place of his tale, Beelzebub deeply sighed, and gazing at one spot, became concentratedly thoughtful.
34.642	A little later Hassein, having first made quite an unintelligible grimace, and then with a voice expressing pained tenderness, turned to Beelzebub who was still continuing to think.
34.642	“Grandfather! Dear Grandfather! Manifest please aloud those informations which you have in your common presence particularly dear to me, and which you have learned during your long existence and which may serve me as material for the elucidation of that question which has just arisen in my essence, and even for the approximate representation of which I have as yet positively no data for a logical confrontation in any of the spiritualized parts of my common presence.
34.642	At the question of his favorite grandson, Beelzebub began to relate the following:
34.643	“Why of course… my dear boy. In the course of long centuries of their existence, and among them as everywhere on planets where beings arise who spend likewise part of the time of their existence simply in the ordinary process, many customs and also what are called ‘moral habits,’ at times very good and useful for their ordinary existence, were also gradually formed, and even at the present time are sometimes formed among several of their groupings; but herein lies the evil, that such a being-welfare as becomes fixed in the process of ordinary existence from the flow of time alone, and which improves thanks to transmission from generation to generation, also soon either entirely disappears or is changed to such a direction that these happy achievements of theirs are transformed of their own accord into ‘unhappy’ ones and increase the number of those small factors maleficent for them, the totality of which year by year ‘dilutes,’ more and more, both their psyche as well as their very essence.
	35 A Change in the Appointed Course of the Falling of the Transspace Ship Karnak
35.657	At this point of Beelzebub’s conversation with his kinsmen, he was told that the captain of the ship sought permission to speak with him personally.
35.657	Soon after Beelzebub had given his consent, the captain entered and with a respectful salute addressed Beelzebub and said:
35.657	“Your Reverence, at the beginning of our journey you condescended to let fall a word which hinted that on the return journey you would perhaps decide to stop on the way at the holy planet Purgatory to see the family of your son Tooilan. If this is indeed your intention, then it will be better if you give me the order to do so now, because we shall soon be passing through the solar system Khalmian, and if having passed this system we do not direct the falling of our ship immediately more to the left, we shall greatly lengthen the path of its falling.”
35.657	“Yes, please, my dear Captain,” Beelzebub replied. “There is nothing against stopping on the way at this holy planet. No one knows whether there will be another such happy occasion for me to go there and visit the family of my dear son Tooilan.”
35.657	When the captain saluted and was on the point of going out, Beelzebub suddenly, as if remembering, stopped him and addressed him in the following words:
35.657	“Wait, my dear Captain, I want to ask you to accede to yet another of my requests.” And when the captain, drawing nearer, had sat down in his appointed place, Beelzebub continued thus:
35.657-8	“My request to you is that you consent after the visit to the holy planet Purgatory, to give our ship Karnak such a course of falling that on the way we may reach the surface of the planet Deskaldino.
35.658	“The point is that, in the present period of the flow of time on that planet, the Great Saroonoorishan, my first educator, so to say the fundamental cause of all the spiritualized parts of my genuine common presence, has the place of his permanent existence.
35.658	“I should like, as at that first time, before going to the sphere on which I arose, to profit by this occasion and fall once more at the feet of the prime creator of my genuine being, the more so, since just now, returning from my perhaps last conference, the entire satisfactoriness of the present functioning of all the separate spiritualized parts of my common presence was revealed not only to me myself, but also to most of the individuals I met, and in consequence, the being-impulse of gratitude towards that Great Saroonoorishan arose in me and is still inextinguishably maintained.
35.658	“I very well know, my dear Captain, that I am giving you no easy task, because I have already been a witness of the difficulties in carrying out this same request of mine, when, returning for the first time after my gracious pardon to the place of my arising on the planet Karatas, I desired before descending onto it, to visit the surface of the planet Deskaldino. On that occasion, when the captain of the intersystem ship Omnipresent had agreed to this and directed the falling of the Omnipresent in the direction of the atmosphere of that planet and was indeed able to carry out my request, I was able, before my return to my native land, to reach the surface of the planet Deskaldino and I had the happiness of greeting the Great Saroonoorishan, the creator of my genuine being-existence, and to receive from him his ‘creator-benediction,’ most dear and most precious to me.”
35.659	To this request of Beelzebub’s, the captain of the ship Karnak answered:
35.659	Having said this the captain rose and, respectfully saluting Beelzebub, went out.
35.659	When the captain of the ship had left the place where Beelzebub was sitting with his kinsmen, Hassein ran to his grandfather and again sitting down as usual at his feet, coaxingly asked Beelzebub to continue to relate what had happened to him after his departure from the capital of that large community of the beings of the planet Earth which was called St. Petersburg.
	36 Just a Wee Bit More About the Germans
36.660	Beelzebub began thus: “From St. Petersburg I first of all went to what are called the Scandinavian countries, and after traveling through these countries, I settled in the chief point of the beings of the contemporary grouping called ‘Germany.’”
36.660	Having said this and having patted the curly head of Hassein, Beelzebub with a good-natured smile but with an admixture of what is called slyness, continued thus:
	37 France
37.663	Further, Beelzebub continued to speak thus:
37.663	“After Germany, I had for a short time the place of my existence again there on the continent Europe among the beings of the community called ‘Italy’; and after Italy, among the beings of that community, who became for the beings of the community Russia what are called the ‘sources’ for the satisfaction of that ‘vice’ which long before had become fixed in the abnormal process of the ordinary being-existence of terrestrial three-brained beings of recent centuries, and which is called ‘suggestibility’; that is, I settled among the beings of the community France.
37.664	“Before this, namely, before my choice of the community France as the place of my permanent existence, data was formed in my common presence for just such a representation about them, because, going about everywhere and existing among the beings there of all kinds of groupings which exist at the present time on almost all terra firma parts of the surface of your planet, I frequently heard during all conversations such an opinion concerning the French beings.
37.664	“Although earlier, as I have already told you, I had sometimes been in just that community France, I had, nevertheless, on my preceding visits, paid no special attention to the particulars of the psyche of those beings and to that opinion which beings of nearly all the other communities there had about them.
37.664	“This time, however, when I settled in one of the provincial towns there, and my presence, of course, instinctively expected to perceive impressions from ‘immoral’ and ‘depraved’ manifestations of the local three-brained beings, I, to my great and ever-increasing surprise, ascertained first of all that I would not perceive anything of the kind.
37.664-5	“A little later, when I began to go about among them, and even to make friends with some of them and with their families, the data for this as it is called ‘automatic opinion’ about them not only began to become decrystallized in me, but there began to become crystallized in me the ‘required-being-data’ for finding out just what was the cause that data could become crystallized in the common presences of other communities for such an opinion about them which did not correspond to reality.
37.665	“When I went this time to that capital named ‘Paris’—which, by the way, had now in the logicnestarian-crystallization of the contemporary three-brained beings of your planet, breeding on all the continents, already completely become also such a center of their imagined culture as the cities Samlios, Koorkalai, Babylon and so on, were for the beings of former periods in their time—I went straight from the railway station to the hotel which had been recommended to me while still in the city of Berlin by an acquaintance of mine.
37.665-6	“The first thing that I happened to notice was that all the servants of that hotel then consisted of foreigners who mostly spoke the English language, whereas, not so long ago, as it seems, all the servants of this same hotel spoke only the Russian language.
37.666	“The day after my arrival in that contemporary Samlios, I inquired for a certain being belonging to a community called Persia to whom I had an introduction from one of my good friends existing in the capital of that community.
37.666	“This new acquaintance of mine, the Persian being, suggested in the evening of that day that I should go with him to what is called the ‘Boulevard des Capucines’ and sit for a while in the then famous ‘Grand Café.’
37.666	“When we arrived at this Grand Café we sat down at one of the many tables which took up, as is usual there in Paris, half the pavement.
37.672	At this point in his tale Beelzebub sighed deeply, and then continued thus:
37.672	“Just now, while telling you about that evening spent in the restaurant in Montmartre among the contemporary three-brained beings breeding on that planet Earth which pleases you, there involuntarily revived in me the ‘being-Sarpitimnian-experiencing,’ which I experienced at that time, and now at this moment the memory of all that I experienced is so intensely and repeatedly associated in all the three spiritualized parts of my common presence, that I am compelled to digress from the theme begun, in order that I may share with you these sad and distressing reflections which were induced in me in those dreadful surroundings in Montmartre by my solitude after the said young Persian, who became my cicerone in Paris, had left me.
37.672	“Then, namely, for the second time in the whole of my existence, there proceeded in my Being the process of this same being-Sarpitimnian-experiencing, which had engendered in my common presence a revolt on account of various unforeseeingnesses on the part of our Most High, Most Saintly Cosmic Individuals, and of all the objective misfortunes flowing from them, which have already obtained and, maybe, will still continue to obtain on this planet Earth as well as in all our Great Universe.
37.674-5	“And after Atlantis had perished, and many, many centuries had passed, when I was on the continent Asia in the city of Koorkalai, their new center-of-culture of that ancient community there called Tikliamish, and sat at times among them in their Kaltaani which were similar also to contemporary restaurants, was I not witness of similar ‘scenes’?
37.675	“And in their majestic city Babylon, where I also happened to be, many of their centuries later… was it not the same there? Were not the three-brained beings of the city Babylon those same Asklays, Kafirians, Veroonks, Klians, and so on?…
37.675	“Only their dress and the names of their nationalities have changed. “During Babylonian times they were called ‘Assyrians,’ ‘Persians,’ ‘Sikitians,’ ‘Aravians,’ and by other different names ending in ‘ian.’
37.675	“Yes… and now again, after so many centuries, I am again here, in their contemporary center-of-culture, the city Paris.
37.675-6	“And again it is the same… shoutings, uproar, laughter, scoldings… the same as in the city Babylon, as in the city Koorkalai, or even in Samlios, their first center-of-culture….
37.676	“Again many centuries passed; their center was formed in Tikliamish. What remains of it, but deserts now called ‘Red sand’?
37.676	“If some nation formerly famous has perhaps survived in its thousandth generation, then it is now vegetating in complete nothingness somewhere not far from that place where that nation dwelt.
37.676	“Then again many centuries passed.
	38 Religion
38.694	Beelzebub continued further:
38.694	“Now I shall explain to you also a little about that ‘obstruction’ which served as one of the chief causes for the gradual dilution of the psyche of these unfortunate favorites of yours, and, namely, concerning their peculiar ‘Havatvernoni’ which they always have, the totality of the functioning and the effect of which, in the common presences of the beings, they themselves call ‘religiousness.’
38.698-9	“During my observations on the process of the existence of these peculiar three-brained beings, there had been many times actualized from Above, in the common presences of certain of them, the germs of these Sacred Individuals and almost on each occasion—with the exception only of the Most Most Sacred Ashiata Shiemash, and all connected with Him which flowed from His own Most Great Labors—after their completed formation and their fulfillment of the mission imposed on them from Above, when the process of the sacred Rascooarno was completed with them, such religious teachings always began in the mentioned way to arise among these peculiar beings there, i.e., they, at first, as I said, collected into one whole all that was indicated and explained in detail by these Sacred Individuals intentionally actualized from Above, for the purpose of remembering it all themselves and also for the purpose of transmission to subsequent generations, yet, of course, into one whole which they collected from the very beginning, as it is said there, ‘from-bits-here-and-there,’ and later, as all of this which was collected together fell into the hands of just those two mentioned types there, well, just then they began, as I already expressed it, ‘to peck at’ all this, and further dividing themselves up into their famous what are called sects, already compose new fantastic religious teachings thought out by themselves, as a result of which there always obtains on this planet of yours, firstly, a large number of religions as numerous as the colors in the ‘rainbow,’ and secondly, as it is said, ‘the-same-old-story.’
38.699	“During recent centuries your favorites had many hundreds of these peculiar independent religious teachings in the common-planetary-process of their being-existence and the basis for all of them was the totality of the indications and explanations which had still survived and which had arisen in the mentioned way, given to them by the Sacred Individuals intentionally actualized among them from Above.
38.703	“Dear and kind Grandfather of mine, explain to me, please, what is meant by ‘elders of the church ?” asked Hassein.
38.703	“They call ‘elders of the church’ there, those beings who become professional dignitaries of the highest rank of any religious teaching.”
38.703	Having merely replied thus laconically, Beelzebub continued further:
38.703	“By the way, I may tell you here that among a rather small group of terrestrial beings the teaching of Jesus Christ was preserved unchanged, and, passing from generation to generation, has even reached the present time in its original form.
38.716	“Only a few centuries ago, the chief particularity of the three-brained beings who please you, namely, the process of their periodic reciprocal destruction, used to proceed there on your planet between beings of different communities of one and the same continent, namely, the continent on which they bred, and if occasionally by exception this process arose between beings of different continents, then it occurred only between beings dwelling on the neighboring borders of two adjacent continents. And this was because locomotion by water was still very difficult for terrestrial beings some centuries ago.
38.734	Having thus spoken, Beelzebub became silent for a short while, during which it was seen that he concentratedly pondered over something, and afterwards he said:
38.734	“At this moment I am considering that it will be very, very useful for your Reason if I tell you more about a certain event connected also with the sacrament of the sacred Almznoshinoo which concerns that Sacred Individual the conception of whom was actualized among your favorites and who, having become formed, was named ‘Jesus Christ.’
38.734	“I will tell you about this important event, connected with the actualization among them of this Sacred Individual, the notion about which the contemporary favorites of yours define by the words ‘The Death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ.’
38.734-5	“Your acquaintance with this fact will be another example for you for enlightening you about the sense and essential significance of the sacred sacrament Almznoshinoo, and in addition you will also have a clear example of what I have already told, how—thanks only to the strange inherency in their general psyche, called wiseacring—the sense of even those crumbs ‘collected-from-bits-here-and-there-into-one-whole’ spoken and indicated to them by the genuine Sacred Individuals intentionally actualized among them from Above, were already so distorted by the first generation of the contemporaries of the given Sacred Individuals, that from all what they call religious teachings information reached the beings of subsequent generations suitable perhaps only for the inventing of what are called ‘children’s fairy tales.’
38.742	“I personally even think that if this Judas was presented in their Holy Writ as a type of this kind, then it may have been for this reason, that it was necessary for someone or other, also belonging to the mentioned types, to belittle in this way, for a certain purpose, the significance of Jesus Christ Himself.
38.742	“And, namely, He appeared to be so naïve, so unable to feel and see beforehand, in a word, so unperfected that in spite of knowing and existing together with this Judas so long, He failed to sense and be aware that this immediate disciple of His was such a perfidious traitor and that he would sell Him for thirty worthless pieces of silver.”
38.742	At this point in Beelzebub’s tales, he and all the passengers of the inter-solar-system ship Karnak suddenly sensed in their organ of taste a special sour-bitterish taste.
38.742-3	This signified that their ship was approaching that place of their destination, in the given case the holy planet Purgatory. They sensed the sour-bitterish taste because a special magnetic current was released from the steering compartment of the ship to inform all the passengers of the approach to the place of destination.
38.743	Beelzebub therefore interrupted his tale and glancing affectionately at his grandson, said:
38.743	“Now we shall have, willy-nilly, to stop our talk about this Sacred Individual Jesus Christ, but nevertheless, my boy, when we arrive home and exist on our dear Karatas, remind me sometime when I am free, to finish telling you about the whole of this history in detail.
	39 The Holy Planet “Purgatory”
39.744	After several Dionosks the cosmic ship Karnak left the holy planet, and again began to fall further in the direction of the place of its final destination, and, namely, in the direction of that planet on which Beelzebub had had the place of his arising and whither he was returning to finish his long existence; to finish that long existence of his, which, on account of certain definite circumstances, he had to fulfill on various cosmic concentrations of our Great Universe and always under conditions very unfavorable for him personally, yet which he nevertheless objectively fulfilled quite meritoriously.
39.744	And so, when the usual tempo of the falling of the ship Karnak had been re-established, Hassein, the grandson of Beelzebub, again sat down at his feet and turning to him, said:
39.744	“Grandfather, oh, dear grandfather! Explain to me, please, why, as my uncle Tooilan told me, does our COMMON ALL-EMBRACING UNI-BEING AUTOCRAT ENDLESSNESS appear so often on this holy planet on which we have just been?”
39.744	At this question of his grandson, Beelzebub this time became thoughtful a little longer than usual and then, also with greater concentration than was usual for him, slowly said:
39.745	“In any case, you must first of all be told that this same holy planet, which is called Purgatory, is for the whole of our Great Universe, as it were, the heart and place of concentration of all the completing results of the pulsation of everything that functions and exists in the Universe.
39.745	“Our COMMON-FATHER-CREATOR-ENDLESSNESS appears there so often only because this holy planet is the place of the existence of the, in the highest degree, unfortunate ‘higher-being-bodies,’ who obtained their coating on various planets of the whole of our Great Universe.
39.745	“The ‘higher-being-bodies’ who have already merited to dwell on this holy planet suffer, maybe, as much as anybody in the whole of our Great Universe.
39.745	“In the beginning all these ‘higher-being-bodies’ who at the present time have the place of their existence on this holy planet went directly on to our Most Most Holy Sun Absolute, but later when that all-universal calamity, which we call the ‘Choot-God-litanical period’ occurred in our Great Universe, then after this terrifying common-cosmic calamity, similar ‘higher-being-bodies’ who now dwell on this holy planet ceased to have the possibility of blending directly with our Most Most Holy Sun Absolute.
39.745-6	“Only after this ‘Choot-God-litanical period’ did the necessity appear for such a kind of general-universal functioning which this holy planet ‘Purgatory’ actualizes at the present time.
39.746	“It was just from this time that the whole surface of this holy planet was correspondingly organized and adapted in such a way that these ‘higher-being-bodies’ might have the place of their already unavoidable existence on it.”
39.746	Having said this, Beelzebub became a little thoughtful and with a slight smile continued to tell the following:
39.746	“This holy planet is not only the center of the concentrations of the results of the functioning of all that exists, but it is also now the best, richest, and most beautiful of all the planets of our Universe.
39.747	Having uttered these last words, Beelzebub suddenly became silent and again deeply thoughtful, and Hassein and Ahoon looked at him with surprise and interrogation.
39.747	After a fairly long time had passed, Beelzebub, shaking his head in a special manner, again turned to Hassein and said:
39.747-8	“I am just now thinking that it would be very reasonable on my part, if to this question of yours—‘why our ENDLESSNESS so often rejoices this holy planet with HIS appearance’—I would answer in such a way, so that I could, apropos, explain to you also what I have already several times promised you to explain. “That is to say, about the fundamental cosmic laws by which our present World is maintained and on the basis of which it exists; and this moreover should be done, because if both of these questions are taken together, only then will you have all-round material for a complete representation and exhaustive understanding about this holy planet Purgatory, and at the same time learn something more about the three-brained beings who have interested you and who arise on the planet Earth.
39.748	“And so… my boy, first of all I must once more and in greater detail repeat that our ENDLESSNESS was forced to create the whole World which now exists at the present time.
39.795	“Perhaps, my boy, you do not yet know anything about the ‘sacred-sacraments-of-the-great-Serooazar’?” Beelzebub asked his grandson.
39.795	To this question of Beelzebub’s his grandson Hassein replied thus:
39.796	“Very well, my boy,” said Beelzebub. “We will talk about the ‘sacred-sacrament-of-the-Serooazar’ when we return to our dear Karatas.
39.796	“There I will explain to you sometime in detail where and how the sacred sacrament of Serooazar proceeds with the substances being-Exioëhary for the continuation of one’s species and on what occasions and in what way the mixing and subsequent results of the two kinds of Exioëhary are obtained; one kind is transformed for the affirming principle in those ‘beings-apparatuses’ which on our planet Karatas are the beings ‘Actavus’ and on your planet Earth the beings of the ‘male sex’; and the other kind is transformed for the denying principle in those ‘beings-apparatuses’ which among us on the planet Karatas are the beings ‘Passavus’ and on the planet Earth the beings of the ‘female sex.’
39.810	At this point in his narrative, Beelzebub was interrupted by a ship’s servant who gave him a ‘Leitoochanbros,’ which he put to his ear and began to listen to its contents.
	40 Beelzebub Tells How People Learned and Again Forgot About the Fundamental Cosmic Law of Heptaparaparshinokh
40.813	After Beelzebub had listened to what was communicated in the “Leitoochanbros” handed to him, his grandson Hassein again turned to him and said:
40.814	Having thought a little, Beelzebub began to speak as follows:
40.814-5	“All right, my dear boy, I shall try to elucidate to you also about this natural perplexity which justly arises within you. “It seems to me I already once told you that although from the period you mentioned on that planet almost all the three-brained beings there became, thanks to the abnormally established conditions of ordinary being-existence, possessors of only an automatic-Reason, nevertheless it does sometimes happen there that certain of them by chance escape this common fate and that instead of that automatic-Reason which has become usual there, a genuine objective ‘being-Reason’ is formed in certain of them as it is in all three-centered beings of our great Megalocosmos.
40.819-20	“The perceiving and cognizing of the fundamental cosmic law of the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh by the common presences of these three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, began for the first time on the continent Atlantis at that period when, do you remember, I already told you, certain beings there understood by themselves that something ‘not-quite-right’ proceeded in them and when they themselves discovered that they had certain possibilities of being able to destroy this something ‘not-quite-right’ and of becoming such as they ought to be.
40.833	“Just at the time of one of my sojourns on the planet Saturn with my essence-friend, Gornahoor Harharkh, he, having already previously in some way heard about this apparatus, requested me during conversation to bring him one of these experimental apparatuses from the planet Earth if I again happened to be there.
40.833	“And when afterwards I again visited the surface of this planet of yours, I procured there one of these apparatuses and took it with me to the planet Mars in order to send it on a convenient occasion to the planet Saturn to Gornahoor Harharkh.
40.833	“And so, in consequence of the fact that for a long time our ship Occasion did not happen to go to the planet Saturn, this apparatus Alla-attapan remained at my home on the planet Mars and it often came within the sphere of the automatic perception of the organs of my sight; and during a period of rest from active mentation I attentively examined it and ultimately became familiar with all the details of its construction and action.
40.838	“Tell me, please, my dear Grandfather, what is a mammoth?” asked Hassein.
40.838	“A mammoth,” replied Beelzebub, “is a two-brained being; in the beginning it also bred on your planet and had, in comparison with other beings there of all brain systems, a large exterior form.
40.846	“The last time I was on your planet I heard that the contemporary learned beings of the community Germany found, as it were, methods of separating several other independent active elements from opium.
40.856-7	“And if besides this I now still add, concerning the strange psyche of your favorites, what I constated during my last sojourn among them, namely, that the contemporary three-brained beings of your planet—in spite of the fact that they, having put this same ‘Chinese seven-toned subdivision’ as the basis of all their ‘sound-producing instruments,’ almost daily perceive the results of its consequences—are not only not at all inspired by this as they should be objectively, but on the contrary, under the action of this kind of consonance with the total absence of remorse and even with the impulse of satisfaction, intentionally maintain in themselves the flowing of those associations of all their spiritualized parts which arise in their common presences under the influence of data crystallized in them from the consequences of the properties of the, for them, accursed organ Kundabuffer, then you, I am sure, after such a practical demonstration on this piano, will have not only an approximate representation concerning all what are called ‘some-obtained-from-the-other-and-harmoniously-flowing-gravity-center-vibrations,’ but likewise you will constate once more with the impulse of astonishment, to what an extent there is weakened in the common presences of these favorites of yours the essence of the action of those being-data, which in general are proper to be crystallized in the presences of all three-brained beings and the totality of which is called ‘quickness-of-instinct.’
40.869-70	“In conclusion of the explanations that I have already given you relating to the subdivision into seven tones of the octave of sound which exists among your favorites, I must once again, alas, insist on this fact that if anything has remained and reached them of this knowledge, they have forgotten everything that was essential and always for the same reason: the disappearance from their presences of the practice of actualizing being-Partkdolg-duty, the same disappearance which is the very cause of the gradual deterioration in them of the mentation proper to three-brained beings.”
40.870	At this point in his recital Beelzebub became absorbed once again in his own thoughts and his look was fixed on the tip of his grandson’s nose.
40.870	There was a rather long silence after which he said to the latter:
40.870	“Ekh! my dear child, I must now speak to you willy-nilly about an experiment of which I was a witness on that same planet Earth and which refers to the laws of vibrations. I shall moreover speak to you about it in all possible detail for the two following reasons:
40.870	“The first is because I have already said much to you about this first fundamental sacred law of Heptaparaparshinokh. I would therefore be very distressed if for some reason or other you should not succeed in understanding clearly the particularities of this law. This is why I now find myself constrained to hide nothing from you concerning these experiments because I am sure that they will enable you to form for yourself an exhaustive representation.
40.870	“And in the second place I wish to impart to you all possible details concerning these experiments, because the terrestrial being who made them, thanks to the knowledge of cosmic vibrations which he had acquired, was the sole and unique being who during the many centuries that I existed upon the Earth recognized and came to know my true nature.”
	41 The Bokharian Dervish Hadji-Asvatz-Troov
41.871	As my first meeting with this contemporary terrestrial three-brained being—with whom I saw the said experiments and thanks to whom, in all probability, information about the fundamental sacred cosmic law of Heptaparaparshinokh will again be established there and become accessible to everyone, even from among the ordinary contemporary beings with a thirst for knowledge—may turn out to be extremely interesting and instructive to you, I shall therefore tell you all about this meeting also, in all possible detail.
41.871	“This first meeting of mine with him took place three terrestrial years before my final departure from that solar system.
41.871	“Once while traveling over the continent Asia in that part of it called ‘Bokhara,’ I chanced to meet and get on friendly terms with a certain three-brained being belonging to the group inhabiting that part of the surface of your planet, who was by profession what they call there a ‘dervish’ and whose name was ‘Hadji-Zephir-Bogga-Eddin.’
41.901	“I had full moral right to tell him the truth about myself, because by his attainments he was already ‘Kalmanuior,’ that is, a three-brained being of that planet with whom it is not forbidden us from Above to be frank.
41.901	“But at that moment I could in no way do this, because there was also present there the dervish Hadji-Bogga-Eddin who was still an ordinary terrestrial three-brained being, concerning whom, already long before, it was forbidden under oath from Above to the beings of our tribe to communicate true information to any one of them on any occasion whatsoever.
41.901	“This interdiction upon the beings of our tribe was made it seems on the initiative of the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash.
41.901-2	“This interdiction on the beings of our tribe was made chiefly because it is necessary for the three-brained beings of your planet to have ‘knowledge-of-being.’
41.902	“And any information, even if true, gives to beings in general only ‘mental knowledge,’ and this mental knowledge, as I have already once told you, always serves beings only as a means to diminish their possibilities of acquiring this knowledge-of-being.
41.902	“And since the sole means left to these unfortunate three-brained beings of your planet for their complete liberation from the consequences of the properties of the organ Kundabuffer are just this knowledge-of-being, therefore this command was given to the beings of our tribe under oath concerning the beings of the Earth.
41.902	“And that is why, my boy, I did not just then in front of the dervish Bogga-Eddin decide to explain to this worthy terrestrial sage Hadji-Asvatz-Troov the real reason of his failure.
41.902	“But as both dervishes were waiting for my reply, I had in any case to tell them something, and therefore, addressing Hadji-Asvatz-Troov, I then told him only as follows:
41.902	“‘Venerable Hadji-Asvatz-Troov! If you agree to have my answer not now but a little later, then I swear by the cause of my arising that I will give you an answer which will fully satisfy you. You will be convinced not only that your beloved science is the truest of all sciences, but also that since the great scientists, the saints Choon-Kil-Tez and Choon-Tro-Pel, you are the greatest scientist of the Earth.’
41.917	At this place of Beelzebub’s tale, all the passengers of the transsystem ship Karnak experienced something like a sweet-sour taste in the region of the inner part of their mouths.
41.917	This signified that the ship Karnak was now approaching some planet, namely, a place of unforeseen stopping.
41.917	And this planet was the planet Deskaldino.
41.917	Whereupon Beelzebub ceased his narration and, with Ahoon and Hassein, all three went to their “Kesshahs” to get ready for the descent to the planet Deskaldino.
	42 Beelzebub in America
42.918	Two “Dionosks” later, when the intersystem ship Karnak had resumed its falling, and the confirmed followers of our respected Mullah Nassr Eddin had again sat down in their usual seats, Hassein once more turned to Beelzebub with the following words:
42.918	And Beelzebub began thus:
42.918	“I happened to visit that part of the surface of your planet now called ‘North America,’ just before my final departure from that solar system.
42.918	“I went there from my last place of existence on that planet, namely, from the city Paris of the continent of Europe.
42.918-9	“From the continent of Europe I sailed there on a steamship, according to the custom of all contemporary what are called ‘dollar holders,’ and arrived in the capital of ‘North America,’ in the city of New York, or as it is sometimes called there, the ‘city of the melting pot of the races of the Earth.’
42.919	“From the pier I went straight to a hotel called the ‘majestic’ which had been recommended to me by one of my Paris acquaintances and which for some reason or other was additionally, though not officially, called ‘Jewish.’
42.919	“Having settled in this majestic hotel, I went the same day to look up a certain ‘Mister’ there, who also had been recommended to me by still another of my Paris acquaintances.
42.931-2	“But from the very first day of my arrival in the capital of this North America, I already experienced great inconvenience in my ‘verbal intercourse’ because, as it turned out, although these beings use this English tongue for verbal intercourse among themselves, this English tongue of theirs is rather special and in fact quite peculiar.
42.932	“So, having felt the inconvenience, I made up my mind to learn this peculiar ‘conversational English’ of theirs also.
42.937	“But I did not take advantage of this kindness of this obliging and exceedingly ‘amiable’ Mr. Bellybutton, because the next morning I received a telegram which made it necessary for me to return to New York.”
42.937	At this point of his tales Beelzebub suddenly became thoughtful and, after a rather protracted pause, sighing deeply, he continued to speak thus:
42.937-8	“The next day I did not go by the morning train as I had decided on receiving the telegram, but delayed my departure until the night train.
42.938	“As the cause of the delay of my departure may well illustrate for you the evil resulting from a certain invention of these American beings which is very widely spread over the whole of your planet, and which is one of the chief causes of the continued, so to say ‘dwindling of the psyche’ of all the other three-brained beings of your unfortunate planet, I shall tell you about it a little more in detail.
42.942-3	“From Chicago I returned again to New York and, as all my projects for the fulfillment of which I had come to this continent were then unexpectedly rapidly and rather successfully actualized, and seeing that the surrounding circumstances and conditions of the ordinary existence of the three-brained beings of that city turned out to be corresponding to what was required for my periodic complete rest which had already become customary for me during my last personal sojourn on the surface of your planet, I decided to stay there longer and exist with the beings there merely according to the being-associations inevitably flowing in me.
42.945	“In our Great Megalocosmos, there is even established for all beings with Reason a law, as it were, according to which one must always and in everything guard just against the initial impetus, because on acquiring momentum, it becomes a force which is the fundamental mover of everything existing in the Universe, and which leads everything back to Prime Being.”
42.945	In this place of his tales Beelzebub was handed a ‘Leitoochanbros,’ and when he had finished listening to the contents of the communication he turned again to Hassein and said:
42.948-9	“The point is, that from the very beginning of this latest contemporary civilization of theirs, it somehow so fell out among the beings of all the innumerable separate groups there, that, of the seven aspects of the fundamental commandment given to three-brained beings from Above, namely, ‘strive to acquire inner and outer purity,’ the single aspect they selected and in a distorted form have made their ideal, is that aspect which is conveyed in the following words: “‘Help everything around you, both the animate and the still inanimate, to acquire a beautiful appearance.’
42.949	“And indeed, and especially in the last two centuries there, they have striven simply to attain a ‘beautiful exterior’—but, of course, only in regard to those various objects external to them themselves, which chanced in the given period to become as they expressed it ‘fashionable.’
42.949	“During this said period, it has been of no concern to them whether any object external to them themselves had any substance whatsoever—all that was necessary was that it should have what they call ‘a striking appearance.’
42.959	“I must tell you that it was just during those years when the beings of Tikliamish were inventing these ‘wonder beds,’ that this planet of yours underwent a common cosmic process of ‘Chirnooanovo,’ that is to say, that, concomitantly with the displacement of the gravity center movement of this solar system in the movement of the common-cosmic harmony, the center of gravity of this planet itself was also displaced.
42.971	“Several months later I again happened to come upon that monastery and acquainted myself personally with the document of these brethren which had been composed by them on the day when they finally ceased the use of this indeed astonishing preparation.
42.971	“This document contained, among other things, several very interesting details about the action of this said preparation of Asiman. It was stated that when this preparation was introduced into the presence of a being, it had besides its nourishing property, a particular action upon what are called the ‘wandering nerves of the stomach’; from which action not only did the need for food immediately cease in beings, but furthermore, every desire to introduce into oneself any other edible product whatsoever entirely disappeared. And if something should be forcibly introduced, it took a long time before the disagreeable sensation and state thus provoked would pass.
42.975	“So, my boy, when I now tell you how the matter stands as regards the sex question among the Americans, bear in mind that everything I say will also refer to the beings of the continent Europe.
42.975	“The results of this uncleanliness of the contemporary three-brained beings of the planet Earth, who have taken your fancy and who breed on the continents of Europe and America, are very clearly indicated in my statistics.
42.975	“Let us take for example what are called there ‘venereal diseases.’ These diseases are so widespread on the continent of Europe and on this continent of America, that at the present time you will scarcely ever meet a being who has not one or another form of those diseases.
42.975	“There is no harm in your knowing among other things, a little more about those interesting and peculiar, data, which, in my statistics, indicate in figures how much more of these diseases there is among the beings of the continents America and Europe, than among those of the continent Asia.
42.975	“Many of these venereal diseases are entirely absent among the beings of the old communities of the continent of Asia, whereas among the beings populating the continents Europe and America, these diseases are almost epidemical.
42.977-8	“For example, according to my statistics, the said ‘scourge’ that is ‘children’s onanism,’ is scarcely met with among the children of those three-brained beings there who observe this custom of ‘circumcision,’ whereas all the children and youths of the beings who fail to observe this custom are without exception exposed to this same sexual abnormality.
42.978	“The second custom I mentioned, namely, abdest, which by the way is called differently by the beings of different groups on the continent Asia, is nothing else than the obligatory ablution of the sex organs after every visit to what is called the ‘toilet.’
42.978	“Thanks chiefly to this second custom, most of your favorites breeding on the continent of Asia are safeguarded against many venereal diseases and other sexual abnormalities there.”
42.978	Having said this, Beelzebub became thoughtful, and after a long pause said:
42.978	“The present theme of our conversation has reminded me of a certain very interesting conversation, which I had there during my sojourn in France, with a young sympathetic three-brained being. I think that perhaps it would now be best for your understanding of all that has just been said, if I repeat to you that conversation in full, all the more so as, besides explaining the meaning of the custom abdest or ablution, this conversation will enlighten you on many further questions concerning the peculiar psyche of these favorites of yours.
42.1029	“And indeed, my boy, owing to the complete absence of good patriarchal customs and to their notorious ‘education,’ the contemporary beings of that continent have already become completely transformed into what are called ‘automatons’ or living mechanical puppets.
42.1029	“At the present time any one of them can become animated and manifest himself outwardly, only when there are accidentally pressed the corresponding what are called ‘buttons’ of those impressions already present in him, which he mechanically perceived during the whole of his preparatory age.
42.1029	“But unless these buttons are pressed, the beings there are in themselves only, as again our highly esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin says, ‘pieces of pressed meat.’
42.1045-6	“When my thoughts were concentrated on this and I began to recall my former impressions concerning this question, those consciously and also those incidentally and automatically perceived during my previous observations of them in general, I gradually established that all your favorites, particularly in the last thirty centuries, had indeed become convinced during all their responsible existence that their contemporary what they call ‘civilization’ is simply the result of the direct continuation of the development of the Reason which began at the very commencement of the arising of three-brained beings on their planet.
42.1051	“In the name of objective justice it now only remains for me to remark that whatever they may turn into in the future, I had however during my existence among them the possibility of inwardly resting, and for this I ought now to express to them my sincere thanks.
42.1051	“And you, just you, my heir, to whom has already been transmitted and will be transmitted by inheritance everything acquired by me during my long existence—of course only in so far as you yourself will deserve it by your own conscientious being-existence and honorable service to the ALL-COMMON FATHER MAINTAINER, our ENDLESSNESS—I command you, if you happen for some reason or other to be on the planet Earth, to visit without fail the city of New York, or if by that time this city should no longer exist, then at least stop at that place where it was situated and to utter aloud:
42.1051	“‘In this place my beloved grandfather, my just Teacher Beelzebub, pleasantly passed a few moments of his existence.’
42.1051-2	“I even charge you—of course again as the heir to whom, as is general, will devolve the fulfillment of the obligations which his predecessor took upon himself and which for some reason or other were left unfulfilled—specially to turn your attention to and to elucidate a question which greatly interested me and which I personally was unable to elucidate as it was still premature to do so; that is to say, I charge you to elucidate for yourself into what a ‘maleficent form’ for their descendants—if of course by that time their descendants still continue to arise—will the results have become molded of the ‘disease’ very widespread at that time, which one of their Misters, by name Onanson, called ‘writing itch.’
42.1054	At this point of Beelzebub’s tales, what is called a “crosscurrent” or “agitation” began in the ether which penetrated the whole of the ship Karnak. This signified that the passengers of the ship Karnak were summoned to the “Djamdjampal,” that is, that “refectory” of the ship in which all the passengers together periodically fed on the second and first being-foods.
42.1054	So Beelzebub, Hassein, and Ahoon ceased their conversation and hastily went off to the Djamdjampal.
	43 Beelzebub’s Survey of the Process of the Periodic Reciprocal Destruction of Men, or Beelzebub’s Opinion of War
43.1055	Beelzebub, Hassein, and Ahoon had returned from the “Djamdjampal” and had resumed their usual places, Hassein, again turning to Beelzebub, said:
43.1055	“Dear Grandfather! Although thanks to your exhaustive explanations relating to different episodes which proceeded on the planet Earth during the process of the existence of the three-brained beings, I obtained a clear conception and convincing understanding of the surprising strangeness of their psyche, nevertheless the question still arises in me about one particularity of this psyche of theirs which I cannot yet understand at all and which, even taking their strange psyche into account, appears to me not logical. My thoughts constantly return to this perplexing question and were even concentrated on it during the sacred sacrament in the Djamdjarnpal.
43.1056	In response to this request of his grandson, Beelzebub continued to look at him with, as it is said, a “remorseful smile” and then, sighing deeply, said:
43.1056	“Ekh!… my dear boy….
43.1056	“This particularity and all the results ensuing from it are chiefly the cause of all their abnormalities and so to say ‘muddled logic.’”
43.1057	“By the way, you have asked whether they really never ponder on this predisposition of theirs—phenomenally terrible and exclusively inherent in them alone.
43.1057	“Of course they ponder, of course they see…
43.1057	“A number of them do ponder even very often and, in spite of the automaticity of their Reason, they fully understand that this particularity of theirs, namely, their predisposition to periodic reciprocal destruction, is such an unimaginable horror and such a hideousness that no name can even be found for it.
43.1057	“Yet, unfortunately, from this pondering of these three-brained beings there, no sense at all is ever obtained.
43.1057	“And no sense is ever obtained, partly because only isolated beings there ponder over this matter, and partly thanks to the absence there, as is usual, of one common-planetary-organization for a single line of action; and therefore, if even the mentioned isolated beings ponder over this question and constate something sensible about this horror, then this constating of theirs is never widely spread and fails to penetrate into the consciousness of other beings. And in addition, it is very sad about this ‘sincere pondering’ of the beings upon similar questions. I must tell you that thanks to the abnormally established conditions of being-existence there, the ‘waking psyche’ as it is expressed there, of each one of them gradually becomes from the very beginning of responsible existence such that he can ‘think sincerely’ and see things in the true light exclusively only if his stomach is so full of first being-food that it is impossible for what are called ‘wandering nerves’ in it to move, or, as they themselves say, he is ‘stuffed quite full’; and besides, all his needs already inherent in him which are unbecoming to three-brained beings and which have become the dominant factors for the whole of his presence, are fully satisfied, of course, only for that given moment.
43.1058	“And the fundamental causes of this flow from always the same maleficent means fixed in the process of their ordinary being-existence and called by them ‘education.’
43.1076	“And so, my boy… “I strongly advise you that if for any reason you have to exist among them, always pretend that you wish to learn something from them. Act in the same way towards their children and then you will not only be on excellent terms with them all, but the whole family will even look on you as the honored friend of the house.
43.1076-7	“Always remember that any one of them, however insignificant he himself may be in essence, looks down, owing always to his self-conceit ensuing from this particular property, with contempt upon the conduct and actions of others, especially if their conduct and actions sharply contradict his own subjectively established point of view, and in these cases he, as I have already said, usually becomes inwardly sincerely offended and indignant.
43.1077	“I might as well here remark that thanks to this property of your favorites always to grow indignant at the defects of others around them, they make their existence, already wretched and abnormal without this, objectively unbearable.
43.1090	“‘The kazi are the same everywhere, only their names are different. In Persia they are called Persian, in Turkey, Turkish.
43.1090	“‘And that is just as it is everywhere on Earth; donkeys are alike, they are only differently called.
43.1090	“‘For instance, the species of donkey breeding in the Caucasus is called “Karabaghian”; and precisely the same kind of donkey breeding in Turkestan is called “Khorassanian.”’
43.1090	“And this wise sentence of his was thereafter always imprinted in my brain; and during my existence on your planet I always remembered it when I had any comparison to make.
43.1098	“After several meetings, already directed by the Kurd philosopher Atarnakh himself, the following categorical conclusion was unanimously arrived at.
43.1098-9	“According to the laws of Nature, there must periodically always proceed on the Earth, independently of the will of men, ‘wars’ and ‘civil wars’; and this is because during certain periods there is required for Nature a greater quantity of deaths. In view of this we are all, with much grief but with inevitable inner resignation, compelled to agree that by no mental decisions of man is it possible to abolish the shedding of blood between states and within states themselves; and we therefore unanimously resolve to wind up current affairs and everything done by our society and perforce disperse for home and there to drag out our inescapable ‘burden of life.’
43.1115-6	“This time, from what I myself learned for certain during my last stay there, and also from the intimation communicated to me by etherogram, Great Nature there is evidently about to increase, for future times, the birth rate of other forms of beings there.
43.1116	“I noticed in the cities Petrograd and Tiflis situated in the large community Russia, of which community more beings perished than of any other during that World War of theirs, that that kind of quadruped being which as a rule never appeared there, namely, the quadruped beings which hate people and which are called ‘wolves,’ were already prowling in the streets.
43.1117	Having said this, Beelzebub became silent and began to look expectantly at his grandson who, as if talking to himself, very sadly, in a tone full of despair, said:
43.1117	And Beelzebub looked at him with a very strange look; strange because in this look his love for Hassein was very clearly seen, and at the same time it could be sensed that he was nevertheless very glad that his grandson was experiencing such a depression.
43.1117-8	This silence continued a fairly long time. At last Beelzebub heaved a deep sigh, with, as it were, the whole of his essence, and spoke to his grandson in the following words:
43.1118	“Yes, my dear Hassein.…
43.1118	“Certainly there is something not quite right here.
43.1118	“But if nothing could be done for the beings of that planet by that Being who now already has the Reason of the sacred ‘Podkoolad’ and is one of the first assistants of our ENDLESSNESS in the government of the World, namely, the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash—if He could do nothing, what then can we expect, we, beings with the Reason of almost ordinary beings?
43.1118	“You remember the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash, then in his deliberations, under the title ‘The Terror of the Situation’ said:
43.1118	“‘If it is still possible to save the beings of the Earth, then Time alone can do it.’
43.1118	“We can now only repeat the same in regard to this terrible property of theirs, of which we have just been speaking, namely, their periodic processes of the destruction of each other’s existence.
43.1118	“We can only say now, that if this property of terrestrial beings is to disappear from that unfortunate planet, then it will be with Time alone, thanks either to the guidance of a certain Being with very high Reason or to certain exceptional cosmic events.”
43.1118	Having said this, Beelzebub again began to look at Hassein with that same strange look.
	44 In the Opinion of Beelzebub, Man’s Understanding of Justice Is for Him in the Objective Sense an Accursed Mirage
44.1119	Smiling and continuing to look affectionately at his grandson Hassein, Beelzebub said:
44.1119	“Namely, about that maleficent idea widespread among all of them, which, you remember—when I spoke about the chief ‘kink’ in their psyche, that is about their diverse and peculiar ‘Havatvernonis’ or, as they themselves call them, ‘religions’—I said was made by them the basis of all these religions of theirs, and which maleficent idea was called ‘Good and Evil.’
44.1119	“I then also told you that, on account of this maleficent idea existing among the terrestrial three-brained beings, great events or, as I would express it in the words of your favorites, ‘turmoils’ recently occurred on the holy planet Purgatory, and the involuntary cause of their arising were certain members of your ‘Hernasdjensa’ or, according to the expression of your favorites, your ‘genealogical tree.’
44.1119	“In order that you should the better picture to yourself and more easily assimilate all that I intend to explain to you, it is in my opinion necessary first of all to say something about certain of these long-past events which at first glance have nothing in common with this idea.
44.1120	“And so… I have already once told you that when I descended for the fifth time onto the surface of this planet of yours, I remained on it a short time and soon returned home to the planet Mars.
44.1120	“This happened then because my friends notified me from the Center that in the near future there would appear on the planet Mars one of the Cherubim near to our ALL-EMBRACING ENDLESSNESS, who had some command or other concerning me.
44.1120	“After my arrival on the planet Mars, the said Cherub did indeed soon make his appearance, and the command given him from Above concerning me was this, that owing to my conscious labors for the attainment of results for the purpose of common-cosmic welfare, that is to say, owing to the fact that I had attained on your planet the abolition of the practice of ‘sacrificial offerings’ among the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, and also owing to the personal petition of His Conformity the Angel Looisos before our COMMON FATHER ENDLESSNESS, my punishment for my personal transgression was reduced in this respect that thenceforward it should no longer affect my posterity.
44.1120	“So it was just from then on that my children, that is your father and your uncle Tooilan, could already, whenever they wished, at their own desire, return to the Center, and there discharge their appropriate obligations to the innumerable actualizations of our UNIVERSAL FATHER.
44.1120	“After this great event for our family, my children indeed soon left the planet Mars and returned to the Center, where on their arrival, being already great sages in certain spheres of objective knowledge and good actualizers of its laws in practical application, they were soon appointed to appropriate responsible duties.
44.1121	“I must explain to you, my boy, also why on their arrival there at the Center, my results or, according to the expression of your favorites, my ‘sons,’ then became worthy immediately to obtain these responsible posts.
44.1121	“In order that this should become comprehensible to you, I must tell you that among those exiled with me, at the very beginning of our exile there, was the chief ‘Zirlikner’ of our planet Karatas, the then still young but already very learned Pooloodjistius, who after the all-gracious pardon, became worthy to be and still is an assistant to the Great Observer of the movements of all the concentrations of the Megalocosmos—His Self-Keepness the Archseraph Ksheltarna.
44.1121	“And so, when I began there on the planet Mars to organize my observatory, this same learned Pooloodjistius proposed to me that I should take him in the capacity of inspector and manager of this new establishment of mine.
44.1121	“Of course I then immediately agreed with his proposal, as he was a very great authority on locating all large and small concentrations as well as an authority on the laws of their reciprocal maintenance, and from then on this great learned Pooloodjistius began to exist in my house on the planet Mars.
44.1121-2	“Later when the results of my active principle arose and were formed to corresponding age, I once asked this learned Pooloodjistius to undertake the duty also of ‘Oskianotsner,’ or, as your favorites would say, ‘educator’ of my children; and to this proposal of mine he agreed with great readiness, because, existing there under unusual conditions, he had no possibility of using his multifarious learning to his satisfaction, and, thanks to this proposal of mine, what is called a ‘wide field of activity’ was opened up for him in this respect.
44.1122	“From then on, apart from the execution of his strict duties which at the beginning were not too much for him, he began to devote himself entirely to the creation of corresponding outer and inner conditions so that my sons should take in impressions for the purpose of crystallizing in themselves the requisite being-data for a responsible existence worthy of three-brained beings.
44.1128-9	After rather a long pause Beelzebub continued thus: “The information concerning these events proceeding on the holy planet first reached me just during my sixth personal descent on the surface of your planet, and I, of course having become very interested in it all, began on my part also to investigate in detail on the spot this distressing story connected with the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy.
44.1129	“First of all, my boy, I consider it necessary to tell you sincerely, just to you, my direct substitute, that although all the righteous dwellers on the holy planet, with the help of various and at the same time very elaborate means, made it clear that the fundamental cause of all the abnormalities of the psyche of these three-brained beings who have taken your fancy was and until now still is only this maleficent idea, yet nevertheless I cannot myself confirm this categorically.
44.1129	“Of course it cannot be denied that this fantastic idea played a big part in respect of the gradual so to say ‘dilution’ of the psyche of these unfortunates.
44.1132	“A Boolmarshano on the continent Atlantis was what the contemporary beings there have replaced by what they call ‘books.’
44.1132	“An exact copy of the mentioned Boolmarshano, made from the tusks of what are called ‘Chirniano,’ I happened to see personally later, namely, at my sixth descent there, and to decipher it rather in detail.
44.1132	“As the information I learned concerning the question—in what way the said copy of the Boolmarshano incised with his own hand by Makary Kronbernkzion and which I happened to decipher during my last sojourn on your planet, remained intact and reached to the contemporary epoch—will be very instructive and interesting to you, I will briefly tell you about it.
44.1135	“I have already told you that during that sixth descent of mine there, I became a professional, namely, a ‘physician-hypnotist,’ and that I studied the strange psyche of your favorites with the help among other things of ‘hypnotism’ also, that is, through the special specific inherency acquired in their psyche.
44.1137	“And so, my boy! After I had found both of these halves of the copy of the creation of the pending Saint Makary Kronbernkzion by the aforesaid means, and took them to the city of the country now called ‘Turkestan’ in which at that period I had the chief place of my existence, I began to decipher the inscriptions and incisions on the Boolmarshano of the scientific thesis by Makary Kronbernkzion under the title of ‘The Affirming and Denying Influences on Man.’
44.1138	“‘Evidently we men, also like all the existing units of the World, are formed and always consist of the same three independent forces, by means of which the process of reciprocal maintenance of everything existing proceeds; namely, of the following three independent World forces:
44.1138	“‘The first of these forces constantly arises from the causes which proceed in the Prime Source itself and from the pressure of the newly arisen, and issuing from it by momentum, flows out of that Prime Source.
44.1138	“‘The second World force is what this first force becomes, when, after having spent the momentum which it has received, it strives to reblend with the source of its arising, according to the fundamental World law called “The effects of a cause must always re-enter the cause.”
44.1138	“‘Both of these forces in the general process of reciprocally maintaining forces are entirely independent, and in their manifestations have always and in everything their own properties and particularities.
44.1138-9	“‘The first of these two fundamental forces, namely, that one which for compelling reasons always manifests outside the source of its arising, must constantly involve; and the second one, on the contrary, striving to blend with the cause of its arising, must always and in everything evolve.
44.1139	“‘Owing to the fact that the first of the mentioned three independent forces arises from vivifying actions proceeding in the very foundation of the cause of everything existing and thus receives in its presence the germ of the possibility of manifesting vivifyingness, it may be considered as “Good,” that is, as a factor for the actualizing of the backward-flowing effects which in relation to this first force can and must be considered as “Evil.”
44.1139	“‘Moreover, the first of these forces, which is manifested from inevitable and compelling causes arising in the Prime Source itself, can from this point of view be considered as passive. And the second backward-flowing force, because it must constantly resist in order to have the possibility of penetrating backward or at least the possibility of withstanding the opposite-flowing first passive force which has received its momentum from the Prime Source causes, must be regarded as active.
44.1139	“‘And as for the third independent World force, this force is nothing else but only the result of the clash everywhere and in everything of these two fundamental descending and ascending independent forces.
44.1139	“‘Although this third independent force is only the result of both first fundamental forces, it is nevertheless the spiritualizing and reconciling source of every World formation.
44.1139	“‘And it is the spiritualizing source of every World formation because it arises and must exist in them as a presence all the time while the given results exist which arise from various unusual mutual resistances occurring between the said two fundamental forces flowing in entirely opposite directions.’
44.1142	“I repeat that besides the aforesaid, there was nothing else there at that period when our tribe existed among them.
44.1142	“Only afterwards when for certain considerations the desire was expressed from Above that as few as possible of the beings of our tribe should exist on that planet, and when therefore the majority of us emigrated to exist on other planets of this same system, in consequence of which scarcely any of our beings remained among them, just from that time on began that aforementioned comical story in which, even until now, the real names of certain beings of our tribe are involuntarily involved.
44.1144	At this point of Beelzebub’s tales, there entered that part of the cosmic ship Karnak where the conversations took place one of the servants of the ship, who gave Beelzebub a newly received ‘Leitoochanbros’ addressed to him; and on leaving he turned to everybody and joyfully exclaimed that the reflections of the sphere of the planet Karatas could already be seen.
	45 In the Opinion of Beelzebub, Man’s Extraction of Electricity from Nature and Its Destruction During Its Use, Is One of the Chief Causes of the Shortening of the Life of Man
45.1145	After Beelzebub had listened to the contents of the Leitoochanbros and had put it by the side of the “Sinooa” near him, that is, something similar to our etagere, he again deeply sighed and continued to speak as follows:
45.1145	“It would be only half a calamity for our common Megalocosmos, if the abnormalities of the ordinary existence of the three-brained beings of this planet of yours had all kinds of bad consequences only for them themselves, that is, for the three-brained beings, which they are, and also for the possibilities of completely perfecting themselves with those higher being-bodies which have already had the extreme misfortune to arise within them or which will arise within them in the future.
45.1146	“In order to give you a fuller representation about why in my Being the data has been crystallized for the constating and thorough cognizing of this, I shall tell you, in its order, about what proceeded and shall begin from the moment when, while still on this planet of yours, I first heard about my full pardon.
45.1146	“As soon as I heard about this special most glorious act of grace toward me, I, of course, decided at that very moment to return at the first opportunity to the dear essence-place of my arising.
45.1146	“And for this it was necessary for me first of all to ascend to the planet Mars in order thoroughly to prepare for such a long journey.
45.1146-7	“Several days after having left your planet forever, I, as always, returned on our same Occasion to the planet Mars.
45.1147	“Arriving there on the planet Mars we soon received a command from Above that I and all other beings of our tribe who wished to return to the place of their arising should assemble on the planet Saturn, using the ship Occasion, on which planet that large intersystem ship Omnipresent would land which would bring us all to our destination.
45.1147	“I nevertheless had to exist on the planet Mars for a certain time in order to liquidate all my personal affairs there and to give various orders concerning the beings of our tribe. And it was just at this time that I was told that the ‘Toof-Nef-Tef’ there very much wished to see me.
45.1147	“Toof-Nef-Tef on the planet Mars is the name given to the being who is the head of all the three-brained beings breeding on this planet, and he is like that being who in the same position on your planet is called ‘king.’
45.1149	“And so, when I returned to the planet Mars from the planet Earth, and while I was hurriedly finishing the liquidation of my affairs there, I was informed that the Toof-Nef-Tef of the planet wished to see me personally.
45.1149	“This request of the honorable Toof-Nef-Tef was translated to me through our Ahoon by means of what is there called a ‘Kelli-E-Ofoo.’¹
45.1149	“The text of this Kelli-E-Ofoo was as follows:
45.1149	“‘I have heard that you, your Right Reverence, have become worthy of receiving from our COMMON FATHER CREATOR full pardon for the transgressions of your youth, and that you are now leaving my native land forever. And therefore, I, an old being, very much wish to see you and to bless you personally for the last time, and at the same time to thank, through your person, all the beings of your tribe for their constant good relations with the beings of my native land during so many years.’
45.1149	“At the end of this Kelli-E-Ofoo was the postscript:
45.1149	“‘I personally would present myself at your house, but as you know, the size of my planetary body does not permit me in any way to do so, and hence I am compelled to beg you not to refuse to come to my “Fal-Fe-Foof.”’²
45.1149	“I must say that the three-brained beings of the planet Mars knew our genuine nature from the very beginning, and also the true reason why we were compelled to dwell on their planet.
45.1149	“They were not like the three-brained beings of your planet who never knew anything and never even suspected who we were and why we existed on their planet.
45.1150	“And so, my boy, when I received the said invitation from the honorable Toof-Nef-Tef, I of course immediately decided to go to him without delay, and when I arrived there, this, in the full sense of the word, great Toof-Nef-Tef, after all the prescribed ceremonies and exchange of courtesies, turned to me as we were talking, with his request, which was just the cause for the subsequent crystallization in me of corresponding data for the indubitable conviction that the results ensuing from the abnormal existence of the three-brained beings of your planet had already begun to act harmfully also on the ordinary existence of the three-brained beings arising and existing on the planet Mars, in respect of their ‘potency’ to perfect themselves as is proper to all three-brained beings.
45.1150	“I shall try to give you in our speech the contents of this request of the Great Toof-Nef-Tef almost literally.
45.1150	“He then said as follows:
45.1150	“‘Your Right Reverence!
45.1150	“‘Thanks to the most gracious pardon granted to you from Above, you have again acquired the right freely to actualize your justly merited wishes. And thanks to this all-embracing grace, you have again all the possibilities of becoming what you might long ago have been owing to your formerly acquired merits as regards Reason, and of course from now on, you, your Right Reverence, will undoubtedly meet various Individuals corresponding to your Reason who have already reached the higher gradations of Reason.
45.1150-1	“‘And so, I take the liberty of applying to you, as my old friend, with the request which consists in this, that on meeting these Individuals you should remember about me, an old being, and not forget to ask their opinion about that fact which during recent years has almost all the time been a shock for the arising of disturbing associations in all my spiritualized parts, and that when you will have learned their opinion, not to refuse to communicate it to me somehow or other at a suitable occasion.’
45.1151	“And he continued further:
45.1151	“‘The point is that during the last few “Ftofoos” I constated very definitely that, among the beings of our planet, the “Noorfooftafaf”³ increases each “Ftofoo,” and parallel with this, I observed in them a proportional diminishing of the intensity of their potency for the possibility of active mentation.
45.1151	“‘When I first discovered this fact, so deplorable for the beings of our planet, and began from then on intensively to ponder and to seek the cause of it, in order to be able to give corresponding indications to those beings who have entrusted themselves to me to help them in their struggle to uproot this lamentable factor that has newly arisen in their common presences, then in spite of the fact that I meditated very often and long on this question which constantly agitates me, I have up till now not been able even approximately to elucidate for myself where the trouble lies and what corresponding measures must be taken to destroy this evil.’
45.1151	“Thus ended the request of the honorable Toof-Nef-Tef of the planet Mars, and I, my boy, of course, there and then promised this oldest friend of mine to inquire about all this and at my first meeting with a corresponding Individual to communicate the reply to him without fail.
45.1151	“Several Martian days after the interview of which I have told you, we left this hospitable planet forever and ascended to the planet Saturn.
45.1151-2	“No sooner had we arrived on the planet Saturn than the chief of our tribe there at once came and announced to us the contents of the etherogram he had just received, in which it was stated that the big intersystem ship Omnipresent would land on the planet Saturn only early in the ‘Hre-Hree-Hra.’
45.1160	At this point of Beelzebub’s tales, there were diffused all along the intersystem ship Karnak artificially produced vibrations which had the property of penetrating into the common presences of all the passengers of the ship and which acted on what are called the “wandering nerves” of the stomach.
45.1160	This artificially produced manifestation was an announcement to the passengers about their assembling in the common what is called “Djameechoonatra,” a kind of terrestrial “monasterial refectory” in which the second being-food is collectively taken.
45.1160	¹ Kelli-E-Ofoo on the planet Mars is the same thing which on the Earth is called a “note.”
45.1160	² Fal-Fe-Foof in Martian speech signifies a dwelling.
45.1160	³ The expression “Noorfooftafaf” signifies on this planet something like what is called on the Earth “will-lessness.”
	46 Beelzebub Explains to His Grandson the Significance of the Form and Sequence Which He Chose for Expounding the Information Concerning Man
46.1161	After the process of taking in the second being-food, Beelzebub did not immediately return from the “Djameechoonatra” where they usually spent their time in conversation, but first went to his “Kesshah.” Kesshah is the name given to those compartments on space-ships which on terrestrial steamers are called “cabins.” Beelzebub first entered his Kesshah in order to cool his already extremely decrepit tail a little in a certain liquid, to which he was compelled to have recourse from time to time on account of his old age.
46.1161	When on returning from his Kesshah he silently entered that section of the ship Karnak where they usually spent their time, he unexpectedly saw the following picture, unusual for him:
46.1161	His beloved grandson Hassein was standing with his face to the corner, his hands covering his eyes, weeping. Beelzebub, deeply moved, quickly approached Hassein and in a voice full of anxiety, asked him:
46.1163	When Hassein finished speaking Beelzebub looked long and fixedly into his eyes, and then, with a smile which revealed a being-impulse of love, he said:
46.1163	“Now I see that during the last dianosk you indeed actively pondered a great deal, or, as certain of your contemporary favorites would express themselves, ‘during this time you did not inwardly sleep.’ Now let us take our usual places and speak about that theme to which I already once promised you to refer, and which will be wholly appropriate to the present occurrence.”
46.1163	When they were already seated and when Ahoon had also arrived, Beelzebub began to speak as follows:
46.1165	“For this, I have in almost all my tales strictly held to the two following principles:
46.1165	“The first: not to say anything as if it were my own personal opinion, in order that data necessary for your own convictions should not be crystallized in you in a prepared form according to the opinions of another.
46.1165	“And in accordance with the second principle: to relate to you in just such an order and in such a premeditated and selected sequence about all the events which proceeded on this planet Earth connected with the arising among these three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, of various gradually progressing inner and outer abnormalities in the process of their ordinary being-existence, the total of which has given them their present desolate and almost inescapable state—in order that you should be able to marshal your own subjective reasoning concerning all causes, only on the basis of certain facts which I have told you.
46.1172	“I find it necessary to repeat that the ‘active mentation’ in a being and the useful results of such active mentation are in reality actualized exclusively only with the equal-degree functionings of all his three localizations of the results spiritualized in his presence, called ‘thinking-center,’ ‘feeling-center,’ and ‘moving-motor-center.’”
	47 The Inevitable Result of Impartial Mentation
47.1173	Beelzebub intended to say more, but just then everything was suddenly lit up with a “pale blue something.” From that moment the falling of the ship Karnak began to diminish perceptibly in speed.
47.1173	All this meant that one of the great Cosmic Egolionopties was about to come alongside the space-ship Karnak.
47.1174	In front of everyone in the main hall of the ship Karnak stood Beelzebub and behind him were ranged his kinsmen and the captain of the ship, and all the others stood behind them at a respectful distance.
47.1174	When the said procession from the Egolionopty neared the beings of Beelzebub’s nature who were assembled in expectation, they halted and all of both forces, differently natured three-brained beings, joined together in singing the “Hymn to our ENDLESSNESS,” which Hymn is always sung on such occasions everywhere in the Universe, by beings of all natures and all forms of exterior coating.
47.1175	When the Hymn had been sung, the venerable archangel approached Beelzebub and solemnly proclaimed:
47.1175	“By the decree of his All-Quarters-Maintainer, the Arch-cherub Peshtvogner, and bearing his own sacred rod, we appear before you, your Right Reverence, in order to restore to you, in accord with the pardon granted you from Above and for certain of your merits, what you lost during your exile—your horns.”
47.1175	Having said this, the venerable archangel turned toward the casket borne by the cherubim and with pro found reverence carefully took from it the sacred rod.
47.1175	Meanwhile all those present knelt down on one knee, while the angels and cherubim began to sing the appropriate sacred canticles.
47.1175	Taking the sacred rod in his hand, the archangel turned again towards Beelzebub and spoke thus to the beings of Beelzebub’s nature:
47.1175	“Beings created by our same UNI-BEING ENDLESSNESS Who has pardoned this once erring being Beelzebub, who by the infinite grace of our CREATOR will again exist among you, beings like Himself….
47.1175	“As the virility and degree of Reason of beings of your nature are defined and manifested by the horns on your head, we must with the permission of our All-Quarters-Maintainer, and with your help, restore the horns lost by Beelzebub.
47.1175	“Beings created by our ONE COMMON FATHER, your aid will consist in this, that each of you should consent to renounce for Beelzebub’s merited pardon certain particles of your own horns.
47.1175-6	“Whosoever therefore consents and wishes to do so, let him approach the sacred rod and touch its handle, and on the length of time the handle of the sacred rod is held will depend the amount of active elements passing from your own horns for the formation of the corresponding horns on this pardoned being of your nature.”
47.1176	Having said this, the venerable archangel, holding the chief end of the sacred rod, that is, the ball, over the kneeling Beelzebub, turned the handle towards those there assembled in such a way that whoever wished might touch it.
47.1176	As soon as the venerable archangel had finished speaking, a very great commotion began among the beings of Beelzebub’s nature, each desiring to approach nearer and to be the first to touch the sacred rod with their hands as long as possible.
47.1176	Order, however, was soon established and each then in turn approached and held the handle for as long as was indicated by the captain of the ship, who had taken upon himself the necessary direction.
47.1176	During the solemn, sacred action, horns little by little began to grow upon the head of Beelzebub.
47.1176	At first, while just the bare horns were being formed, only a concentrated quiet gravely prevailed among those assembled. But from the moment that forks began to appear upon the horns a tense interest and rapt attention began to be manifested among them. This latter state proceeded among them, because everybody was agitated by the wish to learn how many forks would make their appearance on Beelzebub, since by their number the gradation of Reason to which Beelzebub had attained according to the sacred measure of Reason would be defined.
47.1176	First one fork formed, then another, and then a third, and as each fork made its appearance a clearly perceptible thrill of joy and unconcealed satisfaction proceeded among all those present.
47.1176-7	As the fourth fork began to be formed on the horns, the tension among those assembled reached its height, since the formation of the fourth fork on the horns signified that the Reason of Beelzebub had already been perfected to the sacred Ternoonald and hence that there remained for Beelzebub only two gradations before attaining to the sacred Anklad.
47.1177	When the whole of this unusual ceremony neared its end and before all those assembled had had time to recover their self-possession from their earlier joyful agitation, there suddenly and unexpectedly appeared on the horns of Beelzebub quite independently a fifth fork of a special form known to them all.
47.1177	Thereupon all without exception, even the venerable archangel himself, fell prostrate before Beelzebub, who had now risen to his feet and stood transfigured with a majestic appearance, owing to the truly majestic horns which had arisen on his head.
47.1177	All fell prostrate before Beelzebub because by the fifth fork on his horns it was indicated that He had attained the Reason of the sacred Podkoolad, i.e., the last gradation before the Reason of the sacred Anklad.
47.1177	The Reason of the sacred Anklad is the highest to which in general any being can attain, being the third in degree from the Absolute Reason of HIS ENDLESSNESS HIMSELF.
47.1177	But the Reason of the sacred Podkoolad, to which Beelzebub had already perfected himself, is also very rare in the Universe, hence even the venerable archangel prostrated himself before Beelzebub because his own degree of Reason was as yet only that of the sacred Degindad, i.e., wanting three degrees to the Reason of the sacred Anklad.
47.1177	When all had arisen to their feet, the venerable archangel, addressing this time all the assembled beings of various natures, proclaimed:
47.1177-8	“Beings created by One CREATOR, we have all just become worthy to be the first to behold the final formation of the appearance of that which is the dream both of all those present and of the beings in general of the whole of our great Megalocosmos.
47.1178	“And now let us all together exult and rejoice over such a worthiness, which is for us such a revivifying shock for our ability to struggle against our own denying source, which ability alone can lead us to that sacred Podkoolad attained by one of the sons of our COMMON FATHER, who although he first transgressed on account of his youth, yet afterwards was able by his conscious labors and intentional sufferings to become worthy with his essence to be one of the very rare Sacred Individuals of the whole of our Great Universe.”
47.1178	After this proclamation of the archangel all the beings without exception present on the space-ship Karnak then began to sing the prescribed sacred canticle entitled “I Rejoice.”
47.1178	And when this last sacred canticle also had been sung, all the angels and cherubim, with the venerable archangel at their head, returned to the cosmic Egolionopty which then left the ship Karnak and disappeared gradually into space, whereupon the passengers and crew began to disperse to their places and the Karnak resumed its falling toward its destination.
47.1178	After the termination of the Most Great Universal Solemnity just described, Beelzebub with His grandson and His old servant Ahoon, deeply moved like all of the other passengers of the space-ship Karnak by this unexpected event, returned to that part of the ship where all their talks proceeded concerning the men-beings arising and existing on the Earth.
47.1178-9	When Beelzebub, now with a transfigured appearance corresponding to His merits and visible to all, had occupied His usual place, Ahoon, His old servant who had been close to Him during almost the whole of His existence, unexpectedly fell prostrate before Him and in a sincerely entreating voice began to speak:
47.1179	“Sacred Podkoolad of our Great Megalocosmos! Have mercy upon me and pardon me, an unfortunate ordinary three-centered being, for my past disrespectful manifestations, voluntary and involuntary, towards Your Sacred Essence.
47.1179	“Have mercy and pardon me: just this three-centered being, who, though he has existed a very long time, yet to his misfortune—only because in his preparatory age nobody aided the crystallization in him of the data for the ability of intensively actualizing being-Partkdolg-duty—had until now been so shortsighted that he had been unable to sense the reality present beneath an exterior with which, according to the common-cosmic Trogoautoegocrat, all those existing and newly arising units of the Megalocosmos are coated, who ought to have in their presence that sacred ‘something’ which is called Reason.”
47.1179	Having said this, Ahoon stood as if sunk in a stupor of silent expectancy.
47.1179	And Beelzebub, also in silence, gazed at him with a look which, though perceived externally from without was full of love and forgiveness, yet there could be felt in it also His Essence-grief and inevitable resignation.
47.1179	During this afore-described scene, Hassein stood apart in the posture everywhere called the ‘posture-of-the-all-famous-universal-hermit,’ Harnatoolkpararana of the planet Kirmankshana.
47.1179	And when a little bit later Beelzebub cast His eyes around and noticed His grandson in the said posture, He turned to him and said:
47.1179	“What, my boy! Can it be that the same proceeds in your presence as in our old Ahoon’s?”
47.1179	To this question of Beelzebub’s, Hassein, also in an uncertain tone unusual for him, timidly replied:
47.1180	“Almost… yes… Sacred Podkoolad of our Great Megalocosmos. Only with this difference, that at this moment the impulse of love both for our Ahoon and for the three-brained beings of the planet Earth now functions still more strongly in me.
47.1180	“This impulse of love has become stronger in me, evidently because, as it seems to me, both Ahoon and the three-brained beings of the planet Earth have greatly aided me in becoming worthy to be a recent eyewitness of the Great Solemnity of Him who is the cause of the cause of my arising and Whom hitherto I have called my dear grandfather and Who has already visibly become one of the sacred Podkoolads of our Great Megalocosmos, before Whom all will bow and before Whom I have at this moment the happiness to stand.”
47.1180	“Eh, eh, eh!” exclaimed Beelzebub, and having given his features the usual expression He was wont to assume during his sojourn on the Earth, said:
47.1180-1	Hassein and Ahoon immediately and silently proceeded to follow the suggestion of Beelzebub, though by their movements and the translucency of their inner psyche, it was evident that there had been a marked change in their attitude toward the person of Beelzebub since the above-described Common Universal Event.
47.1181	When they had taken their places they sat down, this time not with the unconstraint they had formerly shown. Then Beelzebub, turning to Hassein, said, “First of all, my boy, I give you my word that when we return home—unless any event from external causes independent of our Essence will prevent this—I shall explain to you everything relating to the three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, concerning that which during this journey of ours on the ship Karnak I promised to explain, but which I have for some reason or other left unexplained.
47.1181	At this proposal of his grandfather, Hassein deeply thought rather a long time, and then, in an exalted mood, spoke as follows:
47.1181	“Sacred Podkoolad and fundamental cause of the cause of my arising!
47.1181-2	“Since the solemnity which has just taken place, when Your Sacred Essence became coated with a corresponding visible exterior and when thereby the whole of its significance which cannot be perceived nor understood by all three-brained beings became clear and even sensible to me as well as to every other cosmic unit, save Yourself, every word spoken by You and every counsel of Yours is taken by me as law.
47.1182	“Sacred Podkoolad, and cause of the cause of my arising.
47.1182	“In order that the convictions formed in me during this time, owing to Your explanation of the abnormalities proceeding on the Earth, may become definitely crystallized in me, I still wish very much to have this time Your personal and frank opinion as to the following: How You would reply if, let us suppose, our ALL-EMBRACING CREATOR ENDLESSNESS HIMSELF, were to summon You before HIM and ask You this:
47.1182	“‘Beelzebub!!!!
47.1182	Having said this, Hassein arose and, standing in a posture of reverence, began to look expectantly at Beelzebub.
47.1182	Beelzebub, smiling lovingly at this question of Hassein’s, first said that He was now quite convinced that His tales had brought Hassein the desired results; and then in a serious tone He continued that if our ALL-EMBRACING UNI-BEING-CREATOR should indeed summon Him before HIM and ask Him thus, He would answer.
47.1183	Thereupon Beelzebub suddenly also arose unexpectedly and having stretched His right hand forward and His left hand back, He directed His vision somewhere afar off, and it seemed that with His sight He was, as it were, piercing the very depths of space.
47.1183	Simultaneously ‘something’ pale yellow began little by little to arise around Beelzebub and to envelop Him, and it was in no way possible to understand or to discern whence this something issued—whether it issued from Beelzebub Himself or proceeded to Him from space from sources outside of Him.
47.1183	Finding Himself in these cosmic actualizations incomprehensible for all three-brained beings, Beelzebub in a loud voice unusual for Him very penetratingly intoned the following words:
47.1183	“THOU ALL and the ALLNESS of my WHOLENESS!
47.1183	“The sole means now for the saving of the beings of the planet Earth would be to implant again into their presences a new organ, an organ like Kundabuffer, but this time of such properties that every one of these unfortunates during the process of existence should constantly sense and be cognizant of the inevitability of his own death as well as of the death of everyone upon whom his eyes or attention rests.
47.1183	“Only such a sensation and such a cognizance can now destroy the egoism completely crystallized in them that has swallowed up the whole of their Essence and also that tendency to hate others which flows from it—the tendency, namely, which engenders all those mutual relationships existing there, which serve as the chief cause of all their abnormalities unbecoming to three-brained beings and maleficent for them themselves and for the whole of the Universe.”
	48 From the Author
48.1188-9	I append just this particular lecture, in the first place, because, at the very beginning of the dissemination of the ideas I imported into life, it was specially prepared here on the continent of Europe to serve as the introduction or, as it were, threshold for the whole series of subsequent lectures, by no less than the whole sum of which was it possible both to make clear in a form accessible to everybody the necessity and even the inevitability of a practical actualization of the immutable truths I have elucidated and established in the course of half a century of day-and-night active work and also to prove the actual possibility of employing those truths for the welfare of people; and secondly I append it here, because, while it was last being publicly read, and I happened myself to be present at that numerous gathering, I made an addition which fully corresponds to the hidden thought introduced by Mr. Beelzebub himself into his, so to say, “concluding chord,” and which at the same time, illuminating once more this most great objective truth, will in my opinion make it possible for the reader properly to perceive and assimilate this truth as befits a being who claims to be an “image of God.”

Beelzebub

1 The Arousing of Thought

2 Introduction: Why Beelzebub Was in Our Solar System

3 The Cause of the Delay in the Falling of the Ship Karnak

6 Perpetual Motion

7 Becoming Aware of Genuine Being-Duty

8 The Impudent Brat Hassein, Beelzebub’s Grandson, Dares to Call Men “Slugs”

9 The Cause of the Genesis of the Moon

10 Why “Men” Are Not Men

11 A Piquant Trait of the Peculiar Psyche of Contemporary Man

12 The First “Growl”

13 Why in Man’s Reason Fantasy May Be Perceived as Reality

14 The Beginnings of Perspectives Promising Nothing Very Cheerful

15 The First Descent of Beelzebub upon the Planet Earth

16 The Relative Understanding of Time

17 The Arch-absurd According to the Assertion of Beelzebub, Our Sun Neither Lights nor Heats

18 The Arch-preposterous

19 Beelzebub’s Tales About His Second Descent onto the Planet Earth

20 The Third Flight of Beelzebub to the Planet Earth

21 The First Visit of Beelzebub to India

22 Beelzebub for the First Time in Tibet

23 The Fourth Personal Sojourn of Beelzebub on the Planet Earth

24 Beelzebub’s Flight to the Planet Earth for the Fifth Time

25 The Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash, Sent from Above to the Earth

26 The Legominism Concerning the Deliberations of the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash Under the Title of “The Terror-of-the-Situation”

27 The Organization for Man’s Existence Created by the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash

29 The Fruits of Former Civilizations and the Blossoms of the Contemporary

30 Art

31 The Sixth and Last Sojourn of Beelzebub on the Planet Earth

32 Hypnotism

33 Beelzebub as Professional Hypnotist

34 Russia

35 A Change in the Appointed Course of the Falling of the Transspace Ship Karnak

36 Just a Wee Bit More About the Germans

37 France

38 Religion

39 The Holy Planet “Purgatory”

40 Beelzebub Tells How People Learned and Again Forgot About the Fundamental Cosmic Law of Heptaparaparshinokh

41 The Bokharian Dervish Hadji-Asvatz-Troov

42 Beelzebub in America

43 Beelzebub’s Survey of the Process of the Periodic Reciprocal Destruction of Men, or Beelzebub’s Opinion of War

44 In the Opinion of Beelzebub, Man’s Understanding of Justice Is for Him in the Objective Sense an Accursed Mirage

45 In the Opinion of Beelzebub, Man’s Extraction of Electricity from Nature and Its Destruction During Its Use, Is One of the Chief Causes of the Shortening of the Life of Man

46 Beelzebub Explains to His Grandson the Significance of the Form and Sequence Which He Chose for Expounding the Information Concerning Man

47 The Inevitable Result of Impartial Mentation

48 From the Author