Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

41 The Bokharian Dervish Hadji-Asvatz-Troov

41.871

“Once while traveling over the continent Asia in that part of it called ‘Bokhara,’ I chanced to meet and get on friendly terms with a certain three-brained being belonging to the group inhabiting that part of the surface of your planet, who was by profession what they call there a ‘dervish’ and whose name was ‘Hadji-Zephir-Bogga-Eddin.’

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“He was very typical of those contemporary terrestrial three-brained beings who have a tendency to enthuse over, as is said there, ‘higher matters’ and who always automatize themselves to speak about them without any essential cognition with anyone they meet, on opportune and inopportune occasions. And whenever we met, he also liked to talk only about these matters.

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“And so, my boy, once when I was talking with this dervish Hadji-Zephir-Bogga-Eddin about the ancient Chinese science Shat-Chai-Mernis, he, in the course of conversation, proposed that I should go with him to another dervish, a friend of his, a great authority on this ancient Chinese science, to talk about it with him.

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“At the said gorge my acquaintance the dervish Hadji-Zephir-Bogga-Eddin asked me to help him move a small stone slab to one side, and when we had moved it a small aperture was revealed underneath it from the edges of which two iron bars projected.

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“Soon a strange sound was heard coming from them, and to my astonishment Hadji-Zephir-Bogga-Eddin said something into that aperture in a language unknown to me.

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“After having gone a considerable distance we stopped in front of a rock and Hadji-Zephir-Bogga-Eddin began to wait very tensely for something, when suddenly the enormous stone which lay there opened and formed an entrance into a kind of cave.

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“We entered this cave and began moving forward when I noticed that our way was lit up alternately by what are called gas and electricity.

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“Although this lighting astonished me and several questions about it arose in me, I nevertheless decided not to disturb the serious attentiveness of my fellow traveler.

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“He, as it appeared, was the friend of my first dervish acquaintance.

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“He was already according to terrestrial understanding quite elderly, and being tall in comparison with those living round about seemed extraordinarily thin.

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“His name was Hadji-Asvatz-Troov.

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“Among them, as it is general everywhere among three-brained beings, and just as it was in the first epochs on that planet also, not only is a friend himself a friend, but his near relatives and his friends are also regarded as friends and are treated just the same as the friend himself.

“Because I then passed for the friend of the dervish Hadji-Zephir-Bogga-Eddin, who was a very good friend of this Hadji-Asvatz-Troov, he then at once treated me in a very friendly manner.

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“After a little I noticed that it was becoming uncomfortable for my friend the dervish Hadji-Bogga-Eddin to sit still, for he began to fidget with his left leg.

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“When we had bared them, there was to be seen a real boil precisely on that place of the left leg of the dervish Bogga-Eddin; but to the extreme amazement of the venerable Hadji-Asvatz-Troov, there was nothing whatsoever to be seen on my leg.

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“At this point of his narrative, when the glance of the venerable Hadji-Asvatz-Troov happened to light upon the dervish Bogga-Eddin, he again jumped up from his place and, addressing him, said:

41.897

“‘My dear friend! In the name of our friendship pardon me, an old man, that I have forgotten to put an end to the pain caused you from the evil-carrying vibrations of the grand piano.’

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“And indeed five minutes had scarcely passed before the face of the dervish Bogga-Eddin again cleared up, and of the enormous horrible boil which until that time had continued to ornament his left leg, not a trace remained.

41.901

“But at that moment I could in no way do this, because there was also present there the dervish Hadji-Bogga-Eddin who was still an ordinary terrestrial three-brained being, concerning whom, already long before, it was forbidden under oath from Above to the beings of our tribe to communicate true information to any one of them on any occasion whatsoever.

41.901

“This interdiction upon the beings of our tribe was made it seems on the initiative of the Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash.

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“This interdiction on the beings of our tribe was made chiefly because it is necessary for the three-brained beings of your planet to have ‘knowledge-of-being.’

41.902

“And any information, even if true, gives to beings in general only ‘mental knowledge,’ and this mental knowledge, as I have already once told you, always serves beings only as a means to diminish their possibilities of acquiring this knowledge-of-being.

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“And since the sole means left to these unfortunate three-brained beings of your planet for their complete liberation from the consequences of the properties of the organ Kundabuffer are just this knowledge-of-being, therefore this command was given to the beings of our tribe under oath concerning the beings of the Earth.

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“And that is why, my boy, I did not just then in front of the dervish Bogga-Eddin decide to explain to this worthy terrestrial sage Hadji-Asvatz-Troov the real reason of his failure.

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“Then, as if nothing had happened, he turned to the dervish Bogga-Eddin and began again to speak about the science Shat-Chai-Mernis.

41.903

“He put one of these special bracelets on the arm of the dervish Bogga-Eddin, and another on his own arm, meanwhile saying to me by the way as he did so:

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“‘I do not put one of these apparatuses on you… as I have certain rather weighty reasons.’

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“One of these strange collar-like apparatuses he then put on to the necks of the aforesaid goat, sheep, and dog, and indicating the vibrometers on these strange apparatuses, he asked us to remember or to note down all the figures which would be indicated by the hands of the vibrometers on each of these externally different beings.

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“After this, the dervish Asvatz-Troov again sat down on the felt and told us as follows:

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“‘Every form of “life” has its own “total” of vibrations proper to it, which represents the totality of all the vibrations engendered from the various definite organs of the given form of life; and this total varies at different times in each form of life and depends on how intensely these variously caused vibrations are transformed by the corresponding sources or organs.

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“‘Now all these heterogenous and variously caused vibrations always blend within the limits of the whole life in the general subjective what is called “chord of vibrations” of the given life.

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“‘Just take as an example my friend Bogga-Eddin and myself.

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“‘You see…’ and showing me the figures on the vibrometer that he had on his arm, he continued:

“‘I have in general so many vibrations, and my friend Bogga-Eddin has so many more.

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“‘This is because he is much younger than I and several of his organs function much more intensely than mine, and the corresponding vibrations in him thus “result” more intensely than mine.

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“‘Look at the figures on the vibrometers of the dog, the sheep, and the goat. The sum total of the vibrations of the dog is three times greater than that of the sheep and half as much again as that of the goat, and in number of vibrations of his general chord of vibrations, this dog has a trifle less than myself and my friend.

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“‘It must be remarked that among men, especially men of recent times, very many are to be met with who have not even as great a number of vibrations in the subjective chord of vibrations of their common presence as the number shown by the presence of this dog.

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“‘This has come about because in most of these people I have just mentioned, one function for instance, and, namely, the function of emotion, which actualizes the main quantity of subjective vibrations, is already almost completely atrophied, and therefore the sum total of vibrations in them proves to be less than in this dog.’

41.907

“From all the experiments demonstrated by this sage, it became clear that the most harmful vibrations, however, for contemporary terrestrial three-brained beings are those formed in them from their what are called ‘medical remedies.’

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“I stayed in the underground domain of this truly learned being four terrestrial days, after which, with the dervish Bogga-Eddin, I returned again to that Bokharan town from which we had come; and thus ended my first meeting with him.