Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

18 The Arch-preposterous

18.150

“So, my boy, when we were once talking simply according to the flow of what is called ‘being-associative-mentation,’ and happened to touch on the question, among other things, of the strange results actualized in the manifestations of the particularities of the Omnipresent-Okidanokh, the venerable Harahrahroohry of the planet Saturn first mentioned that one of his learned beings-subjects, by name Harharkh, had recently devised for the elucidation of many of the previously unexplained properties of that cosmic substance, an exceedingly interesting appliance which he called a ‘Rhaharahr,’ the chief demonstrating part of which he called a ‘Hrhaharhtzaha.’

18.152

“When this subsequent essence-friend of mine, Gornahoor Harharkh, was informed of what was required of him, he invited us by a sign to approach one of the special appliances which he had made and which, as it later turned out, was named by him ‘Hrhaharhtzaha.’

18.153

“When we were nearer the said special and very strange construction, he pointed to it with a particular feather of his right wing and said:

18.153

“‘This special appliance is the principal part of the whole of my new invention; and it is just in this that the results are revealed and shown of almost all the peculiarities of the Omnipresent-World-substance-Okidanokh.’

18.153

“Having said this, he again pointed to the Hrhaharhtzaha and added that by means of the elucidating apparatus, not only can any ordinary being clearly understand the details of the properties of the three absolutely independent parts—which in their manifestations have nothing in common—of the whole ‘Unique-Active-Element,’ the particularities of which are the chief cause of everything existing in the Universe, but also any ordinary being can become categorically convinced that no results of any kind normally obtained from the processes occurring through this Omnipresent World-substance can ever be perceived by beings or sensed by them; certain being-functions, however, can perceive only those results of the said processes which proceed for some reason or other abnormally, on account of causes coming from without and issuing either from conscious sources or from accidental mechanical results.

18.154

“The part of Gornahoor Harharkh’s new invention which he himself called the Hrhaharhtzaha and regarded as the most important was in appearance very much like the ‘Tirzikiano’ or, as your favorites would say, a ‘huge-electric-lamp.’

18.154

“The interior of this special structure was rather like a smallish room with a door that could be hermetically closed.

18.154

“The walls of this original construction were made of a certain transparent material, the appearance of which reminded me of that which on your planet is called ‘glass.’

18.154

“As I learned later, the chief particularity of this said transparent material was that, although by means of the organ of sight beings could perceive through it the visibility of every kind of cosmic concentration, yet no rays of any kind, whatever the causes they may have arisen from, could pass through it, either from within out or from without in.

18.154

“As I looked at this part of this said astonishing being-invention, I could through its transparent walls clearly distinguish inside in the center what seemed to be a table and two chairs; hanging above the table, what is called an ‘electric-lamp’; and underneath it three ‘things’ exactly alike, each resembling the ‘Momonodooar.’

“On the table and by the side of it, stood or lay several different apparatuses and instruments unknown to me.

18.154

“Later it became clear that the said objects contained in this Hrhaharhtzaha, as well as everything we had later to put on, were made of special materials invented by this Gornahoor Harharkh.

“And as regards these materials also, I shall explain a little more in detail at the proper time in the course of my further explanations concerning Gornahoor Harharkh.

18.154-5

“Meanwhile bear in mind that in the enormous Khrh or workshop of Gornahoor Harharkh there were, besides the already mentioned Hrhaharhtzaha, several other large independent appliances, and among them two quite special what are called ‘Lifechakans’ which Gornahoor himself called ‘Krhrrhihirhi.’

18.157

“‘And in order that the beings who are outside of this part of my invention may nevertheless also have the possibility of elucidating the force of the given process, I intentionally made the composition of the material of the wall in one place such that it has the property of permitting the passage through it of the said “Salnichizinooarnian-momentum-vibrations” or “rays.”’

18.157-8

“Having said this, he approached nearer to the Hrhaharhtzaha and pressed a certain button. The result was that the whole of the enormous Khrh or ‘workshop’ was suddenly so strongly lit up that our organs of sight temporarily ceased to function, and only after a considerable time had passed could we with great difficulty raise our eyelids and look around.

18.158

“When we had recovered and Gornahoor Harharkh had pulled still another lever, which resulted in the whole surrounding space being restored to its former usual appearance, he first, with his customary angel-voice, again drew our attention to the ‘voltmeter,’ the needle of which constantly indicated the same figure, and then continued:

18.158

“‘You see that, although the process of the clash of two opposite component parts of the Omnipresent-Okidanokh, of the same power of “force-of-striving” still continues, and that the part of the surface of this construction which has the property of admitting the passage of the said “rays” is still open, yet in spite of all this there is no longer the phenomenon which ordinary beings define by the phrase “the-causes-of-artificial-light.”

18.159

“In addition to these special suits, they placed on our heads a ‘something’ resembling what is called a ‘diver’s helmet,’ but with very complicated, what are called ‘connectors’ projecting from them.

18.159-60

“One of these connectors, which was called the ‘Harhrinhrarh,’ meaning ‘sustainer-of-the-pulsation,’ was something long, like a rubber tube. One end of it, by means of complicated appliances on the helmet itself, was hermetically attached to the corresponding place of the helmet for the breathing organs, while the other end, after we had already entered that strange Hrhaharhtzaha, was screwed to an apparatus there, which was connected in its turn with the space, the ‘presence’ of which corresponded to the second being-food.

18.160

“Between Gornahoor Harharkh and myself there was also a special connector, through which we could easily communicate with each other while we were inside the Hrhaharhtzaha, from which the atmosphere was pumped out to make a vacuum.

18.160

“One end of this connector also, by means of appliances that were on the helmets, was fitted in a certain way to what are called my organs of ‘hearing’ and ‘speech,’ and the other end was fitted to the same organs of Gornahoor Harharkh.

18.160

“Thus, by means of this connector between my subsequent essence-friend and myself, there was set up, as again your favorites would say, a peculiar ‘telephone.’

18.160

“But the most ‘curious’ and, as it is said, the most ‘cunningly ingenious’ of all the connectors there for various purposes on those strange diving suits and helmets was the connector created by that great scientist Gornahoor Harharkh to enable the ‘organ-of-sight’ of ordinary beings to perceive the visibility of all kinds of surrounding objects in an ‘absolutely-empty-space.’

18.160-1

“One end of this astonishing connector was fitted in a certain way, also by means of appliances on the helmets, to our temples, while the other end was joined to what is called the ‘Amskomoutator,’ which in its turn was joined in a certain way by means of what are called ‘wires’ to all the objects within the Hrhaharhtzaha as well as to those outside, namely, to those objects whose visibility was needed during the experiments.

18.161

“It is very interesting to notice here that to each end of that appliance—a creation almost incredible for ordinary three-centered-being-Reason—two independent connectors, also of wire, were led, and through them, what are called special magnetic currents flowed from outside.

18.161

“As it was afterwards explained to me in detail, these connectors and the said special ‘magnetic-currents’ had, it seems, been created by that truly great scientist Gornahoor Harharkh in order that the presences of learned three-centered beings—even those not perfected to the Sacred Inkozarno—might, owing to one property of the ‘magnetic current,’ be ‘reflected’ for their own essences and that, owing to another property of this current, the presence of the mentioned objects might also be ‘reflected,’ so that thereby the perception of the reality of the said objects might be actualized by their imperfect organs of being-sight in a vacuum containing none of these factors or those results of various cosmic concentrations which have received such vibrations, from the actualization of which alone the functioning of any being-organ whatsoever is possible.

18.161-2

“Having fitted upon us the said very heavy appliances for enabling beings to exist in a sphere not corresponding for them, the assistants of this, then still great all-universal scientist Gornahoor Harharkh, with the help again of special appliances, carried us into the Hrhaharhtzaha itself; and having screwed up all the free ends of the connectors projecting from us to the corresponding apparatuses in the Hrhaharhtzaha itself, went out and hermetically closed behind them the only way by which it was still possible, if at all, to have any communication with what is called the ‘Everything-representing-one-world.’

18.162

“When we were alone in the Hrhaharhtzaha itself, Gornahoor Harharkh, after turning one of what are called ‘switches’ there, said:

18.162

“‘The work of the “pump” has already begun, and soon it will have pumped out all the results here without exception of those cosmic processes, whatever they may be, the totality of the results of which is the basis and significance, as well as the process itself, of the maintenance of the existence of everything existing in the whole of this “Everything-representing-one-world.”’

18.162

“And he added in a half-sarcastic tone: ‘Soon we shall be absolutely isolated from everything existing and functioning in the whole of the Universe; but, on the other hand, owing firstly to my new invention, and secondly to the knowledge we have already attained for ourselves, we have not only now the possibility of returning to the said world, to become again a particle of all that exists, but also we shall soon be worthy to become nonparticipating eyewitnesses of certain of these World-laws, which for ordinary uninitiated three-centered beings are what they call “great-inscrutable-mysteries-of-Nature” but which in reality are only natural and very simple results “automatically-flowing-one-from-the-other.”’

18.166

“Well, then, while floundering, Gornahoor Harharkh, with great difficulty, and only by means of a special and very complicated maneuver which he made, finally managed to get his planetary body, burdened with the various unusually heavy appliances, down onto the chair again, and this time he fixed it all with the aid of special screws which were on the chair for that purpose; and when we were both more or less arranged and communication was possible between us by means of the said artificial-connectors, he first drew my attention to those apparatuses hanging over the table which I told you were very much like the Momonodooars.

18.166-7

“On close inspection all these were alike in appearance and served as three identical ‘sockets,’ from the ends of each of which, ‘carbon-candles’ projected, such as are usually to be found in the apparatuses which your favorites call ‘electric-arc-lamps.’

18.167

“Having drawn my attention to these three socket-like Momonodooars, he said:

18.167

“‘Each of these externally similar apparatuses has a direct connection with those secondary containers which I pointed out to you while we were still outside and in which, after the artificial Djartklom, each of the active parts of Okidanokh collects into a general mass.

18.167

“‘I have adapted these three independent apparatuses in such a way that, there in this absolutely empty space, we can obtain from those secondary containers for the required experiment as much as we wish of every active part of Okidanokh in a pure state, and also we can at will change the force of the “striving-to-reblend-into-a-whole,” which is acquired in them and which is proper to them according to the degree of density of the concentration of the mass.

18.167

“‘And here, within this absolutely empty space, I shall first of all show you that same non-law-conformable phenomenon which we recently observed while we were outside the place where it proceeded. And namely, I shall again demonstrate to you this World-phenomenon which occurs when, after a law-conformable Djartklom, the separate parts of the whole Okidanokh meet in a space outside of a law-conformable arising and, without the participation of one part, “strive-to-reblend-into-a-whole.”’

18.167-8

“Having said this, he first closed that part of the surface of the Hrhaharhtzaha, the composition of which had the property of allowing ‘rays’ to pass through it; then he pulled two switches and pressed a certain button, as a result of which the small plate lying on that table, composed of a certain special mastic, automatically moved toward the mentioned carbon-candles; and then having again drawn my attention to the Ammeter and the Voltmeter, he added:

18.168

“‘I have again admitted the influx of parts of the Okidanokh, namely, the Anodnatious and the Cathodnatious of equal force of “striving-to-reblend.”’

18.168

“When I looked at the Ammeter and the Voltmeter and indeed saw that their needles moved and stopped on the same figures I had noticed the first time we were still outside the Hrhaharhtzaha, I was greatly surprised, because in spite of the indications of the needles and the intimation of Gornahoor Harharkh himself, I had neither noticed nor sensed any change in the degree of my perception of the visibility of the surrounding objects.

18.168

“‘But why then is there no result from this non-law-conformable “striving-to-reblend-into-a-whole,” of the parts of the Okidanokh?’

18.168

“Before replying to this question, he turned off the only lamp, which worked from a special magnetic current. My astonishment increased still more, because in spite of the darkness which instantly ensued, it could clearly be seen through the walls of the Hrhaharhtzaha, that the needles of the Ammeter and Voltmeter still stood in their former places.

18.169

“‘Furthermore, according to the law called “Heteratogetar,” the “Salnichizinooarnian-momentum-vibrations” or “rays” acquire the property of acting on the organs of perception of beings only after they have passed a limit defined by science in the following formula: “the-result-of-the-manifestation-is-proportionate-to-the-force-of-striving-received-from-the-shock.”

18.169

“‘And so, as the given process of the clash of the two parts of the Okidanokh has the strength of great power, the result of the clash is manifested much further than the place of its arising.

18.169

“‘Now look!’

18.169

“Having said this, he pressed some other button, and suddenly the whole interior of the Hrhaharhtzaha was filled with the same blinding light which, as I have already told you, I experienced when I was outside the Hrhaharhtzaha.

18.169

“It appeared that the said light was obtained because by pressing this button, Gornahoor Harharkh had again opened that part of the wall of the Hrhaharhtzaha which had the property of permitting ‘rays’ to pass through it.

18.169

“As he explained further, the light was only a consequence of the result of the ‘striving-to-reblend-into-a-whole’ of the parts of Okidanokh proceeding in that absolutely empty space within the Hrhaharhtzaha and manifested owing to what is called ‘reflection’ from outside back to the place of its arising.

18.170

“And a little later there slowly ascended from the lower part of the Hrhaharhtzaha a small something like a box, also with transparent walls, within which, as it proved later, were certain minerals, metalloids, metals, and various gases in liquid and solid states.

18.173

“Having said this, he first fixed before my organ of sight the automatically moving Teskooano and then turned on and off various switches in a certain sequence; and as I looked through the Teskooano he explained to me as follows:

18.173

“‘At this moment I admit the “influx” of all three parts of Okidanokh into the sphere containing this metal; and as all three parts have the same “density” and, hence, the same “force-of-striving,” they reblend into a whole in this sphere without changing anything in the presence of the metal; and the Omnipresent-Okidanokh thus obtained flows in its usual state through a special connection out of the Hrhaharhtzaha and is reconcentrated in the first container which you have already seen.