Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

Chapter.Page

Kelnuanian

 

42 Beelzebub in America

42.1016

“‘The custom of fasting was instituted and introduced into the Christian religion by the great secret Kelnuanian Council.

42.1016

“‘This secret Kelnuanian Council was convened by all the followers of the then still new teaching of Jesus Christ in the locality of Kelnuk, lying on the shores of the Dead Sea. Hence it is known in the history of the Christian religion as the Kelnuanian Council.

42.1016

“‘And it was held in secret because the followers of the teaching of Jesus Christ were then everywhere rigorously persecuted by the power-possessing people.

42.1016

“‘The power-possessing people persecuted them because they greatly feared that if people lived according to this teaching, then although they themselves, namely, the power-possessing people, could also live very well, yet all the motives for displaying their power would disappear, and thereby those shocks would cease, the satisfaction of which evoke the tickling of their inner god named “Self-Love.”

42.1016-7

“‘It was just during that Kelnuanian Council that its members first laid down the rule that the followers of the teaching of Jesus Christ should on certain days abstain from consuming certain edible products for food.

42.1017

“‘And the initial cause of the institution of this fast was the dispute at this Kelnuanian Council between two then famous learned men, namely, the great Hertoonano and the great Greek philosopher Veggendiadi.

42.1017

“‘After the philosopher Veggendiadi, several other representatives ascended the rostrum and spoke for or against his case.

42.1017

“‘Finally, as this manuscript stated, the great Hertoonano with measured dignity slowly mounted the rostrum and spoke in the manner proper to him, clearly and calmly.

42.1021

“‘“So, my Brethren in Christ… from all I have said and chiefly from the experimental observations which I made on people daily during a whole year and which clearly showed me that the intensity of the harmful effect of the substance Eknokh decreases at certain times of the year, I can now confidently express my personal opinion that if the custom would be spread and confirmed, among the followers of the teachings of Jesus Christ, of abstaining during at least certain times of the year from the use of these products in the formations of which that substance Eknokh takes a special part, then if such a measure could conceivably be put into effect, it would bring the people a certain amount of benefit.

42.1021-2

“‘“As my numerous alchemic investigations have shown me, the substance Eknokh participates in the formation of the organisms of all lives, without exception, breeding on the surface of the Earth as well as within its different spheres, as, for instance, within the Earth, in the water, in the atmosphere, and so on.

“‘“This substance is present also in everything which exists for the formation of the said organism, as for example in the vascular fluid of every pregnant female of every kind of life, and in such products as milk, eggs, caviar, etc….”

42.1022

“‘The ideas expressed by the great Hertoonano so astounded and agitated all the members of that Kelnuanian council that the commotion made it impossible for the great Hertoonano to continue speaking, and he was compelled to abandon his speech and descend from the rostrum.

42.1022

“‘It was further said in that manuscript that the day’s result was a unanimous decision on the part of the members of the Kelnuanian council to fix, with the help of the great Hertoonano, those times of the year when the substance Eknokh had more harmful effects on people, and to spread widely among the followers of Jesus Christ the custom of fasting at these times of the year—that is, of abstaining at certain times of the year from products containing the, for them, harmful substance Eknokh.