Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

18 The Arch-preposterous

18.155

“While I was looking over all this with surprise, Gornahoor Harharkh himself approached the said pump of special construction and with his left wing moved one of its parts, owing to which a certain mechanism began to work in the pump. He then approached us again and, pointing with the same special feather of his right wing to the largest Lifechakan, or Krhrrhihirhi, or dynamo, further continued his explanations.

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“He said, ‘By means of this special appliance, there are first “sucked-in” separately from the atmosphere, or from any intra- or surplanetary formation, all the three independent parts of the Omnipresent-Active-Element-Okidanokh present in it, and only afterwards when in a certain way these separate independent parts are artificially reblended in the Krhrrhihirhi into a single whole, does the Okidanokh, now in its usual state, flow and is it concentrated there, in that “container”’—saying which, he again with the same special feather pointed to something very much like what is called a ‘generator.’

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“‘And then from there,’ he said, ‘Okidanokh flows here into another Krhrrhihirhi or dynamo where it undergoes the process of Djartklom, and each of its separate parts is concentrated there in those other containers’—and this time he pointed to what resembled ‘accumulators’—‘and only then do I take from the secondary containers, by means of various artificial appliances, each active part of Okidanokh separately for my elucidatory experiments.

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“‘I shall first demonstrate to you,” he continued, ‘one of the results which occur when, for some reason or other, one of the active parts of the Omnipresent-Okidanokh is absent during the process of their “striving-to-reblend” into a whole.

18.156

“‘At the present moment this special construction contains a space which is indeed an absolute vacuum, obtained, it must be said, only owing firstly to the special construction of the suction pump and to the materials of special quality of which the instruments are made, which alone make experiments possible in an absolute vacuum; and secondly, to the properties and the strength of the material of which the walls of this part of my new invention are made.’

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“Having said this, he pulled another lever and again continued:

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“‘Owing to the pulling of this lever, that process has begun in this vacuum whereby in the separate parts of the Omnipresent-Okidanokh there proceeds what is called the “striving-to-reblend-into-a-whole.”

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“‘But since, intentionally by an “able-Reason”—in the present case myself—the participation of that third part of Okidanokh existing under the name of “Parijrahatnatioose” is artificially excluded from the said process, then this process proceeds there just now between only two of its parts, namely, between those two independent parts which science names “Anodnatious” and “Cathodnatious.” And in consequence, instead of the obligatory law-conformable results of the said process, that non-law-conformable result is now actualized which exists under the denomination of “the-result-of-the-process-of-the-reciprocal-destruction-of-two-opposite-forces,” or as ordinary beings express it, “the-cause-of-artificial-light.”

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“‘The “striving-to-reblend-into-a-whole” of two active parts of the Omnipresent-Okidanokh, which is proceeding at the present moment there in this vacuum, has a force, as calculated by objective science, of 3,040,000 what are called “volts,” and this force is indicated by the needle of that special appliance there.’