Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

44 In the Opinion of Beelzebub, Man’s Understanding of Justice Is for Him in the Objective Sense an Accursed Mirage

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“I must explain to you, my boy, also why on their arrival there at the Center, my results or, according to the expression of your favorites, my ‘sons,’ then became worthy immediately to obtain these responsible posts.

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“In order that this should become comprehensible to you, I must tell you that among those exiled with me, at the very beginning of our exile there, was the chief ‘Zirlikner’ of our planet Karatas, the then still young but already very learned Pooloodjistius, who after the all-gracious pardon, became worthy to be and still is an assistant to the Great Observer of the movements of all the concentrations of the Megalocosmos—His Self-Keepness the Archseraph Ksheltarna.

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“And so, when I began there on the planet Mars to organize my observatory, this same learned Pooloodjistius proposed to me that I should take him in the capacity of inspector and manager of this new establishment of mine.

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“Of course I then immediately agreed with his proposal, as he was a very great authority on locating all large and small concentrations as well as an authority on the laws of their reciprocal maintenance, and from then on this great learned Pooloodjistius began to exist in my house on the planet Mars.

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“Later when the results of my active principle arose and were formed to corresponding age, I once asked this learned Pooloodjistius to undertake the duty also of ‘Oskianotsner,’ or, as your favorites would say, ‘educator’ of my children; and to this proposal of mine he agreed with great readiness, because, existing there under unusual conditions, he had no possibility of using his multifarious learning to his satisfaction, and, thanks to this proposal of mine, what is called a ‘wide field of activity’ was opened up for him in this respect.

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“From then on, apart from the execution of his strict duties which at the beginning were not too much for him, he began to devote himself entirely to the creation of corresponding outer and inner conditions so that my sons should take in impressions for the purpose of crystallizing in themselves the requisite being-data for a responsible existence worthy of three-brained beings.

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“My sons soon became so attached to him that they never left his side even during the execution of his strict duties concerning my observatory, and even under these conditions the good Pooloodjistius constantly enlightened their Reason and gave them practical explanations about all the observations on the concentrations, the methods of studying their mutual influence, and the significance of these influences themselves.

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“He always explained to them why and for what purpose any definite cosmic concentration occupies just a certain place, and informed them about the particularities of the influence of these concentrations on each other during the common-cosmic Trogoautoegocratic process.

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“In this way, under the guidance of this remarkable learned being, there was not only crystallized, in the common presences of my results, data required for every kind of responsible three-brained being, but also numerous data for the thorough cognizance and the sensing of true information about cosmic concentrations and their functions.