Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

18 The Arch-preposterous

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“Meanwhile bear in mind that in the enormous Khrh or workshop of Gornahoor Harharkh there were, besides the already mentioned Hrhaharhtzaha, several other large independent appliances, and among them two quite special what are called ‘Lifechakans’ which Gornahoor himself called ‘Krhrrhihirhi.’

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“It is interesting to note that your favorites also have something like this ‘Lifechakan’ or ‘Krhrrhihirhi’; and they name such an apparatus a ‘dynamo.’

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“While I was looking over all this with surprise, Gornahoor Harharkh himself approached the said pump of special construction and with his left wing moved one of its parts, owing to which a certain mechanism began to work in the pump. He then approached us again and, pointing with the same special feather of his right wing to the largest Lifechakan, or Krhrrhihirhi, or dynamo, further continued his explanations.

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“He said, ‘By means of this special appliance, there are first “sucked-in” separately from the atmosphere, or from any intra- or surplanetary formation, all the three independent parts of the Omnipresent-Active-Element-Okidanokh present in it, and only afterwards when in a certain way these separate independent parts are artificially reblended in the Krhrrhihirhi into a single whole, does the Okidanokh, now in its usual state, flow and is it concentrated there, in that “container”’—saying which, he again with the same special feather pointed to something very much like what is called a ‘generator.’

45 In the Opinion of Beelzebub, Man’s Extraction of Electricity from Nature and Its Destruction During Its Use, Is One of the Chief Causes of the Shortening of the Life of Man

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“And so, my boy, when during our general conversation on various topics, I, by the way, became interested to learn from my godson what was the reason which led to the crystallizing in his presence of data for the engendering of the impulse to interest himself seriously in the sphere of the elucidating of the details of the Omnipresent cosmic-substance Okidanokh, thanks to which he also, like his producer, had become worthy to make certain great cosmic discoveries; then after young Rakhoorkh’s reply with explanatory details to this question of mine, the fact became clear to me that the abnormal existence of your favorites already began to act harmfully on the normal existence and on the conscious self-perfecting of beings breeding on the planet Mars, and at the same time, thanks to this detailed reply of his, which was based on scientific foundations, I drew also data for the elucidating of that question for the solution of which my old Martian friend, the Great Toof-Nef-Tef had applied to me with his request.

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“I will try, my boy, to reproduce to you in our speech all the thoughts of this reply of his, also as exactly as possible.

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“After having thought a little at the question which I had put to him, Gornahoor Rakhoorkh replied with deep seriousness:

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“‘At the beginning of my existence, namely, at the age when I was still preparing to be a responsible being, I—as is proper to all three-brained beings at this age—devoted the greater part of my time to practicing for the potency “to-deliberate-actively-and-long”; and of itself it so happened that during the interval of time for necessary rest, I used to be occupied with the various experimental apparatuses of my producer.

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“‘And it was just then at that period of my existence that I began to notice more than once, that on certain days the forces and degree of my active mentation grew particularly worse.

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“‘What I thus constated aroused in me a subjective interest which served as the source for the engendering in my presence of the requisite impulse for the thorough cognizance of the cause of this fact, and from then on I began to pay attention both to myself as well as to what proceeded around me and to seek out the causes for it; and after one “Rkhee” I became convinced beyond doubt that this undesirable state proceeded with me each time, on the day when our large “Lifechakan”⁵ was in action.

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⁵ Lifechakan approximately corresponds to what on Earth is called a “dynamo.”