Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

1 The Arousing of Thought

1.50

He who in childhood was called “Tatakh”; in early youth “Darky”; later the “Black Greek”; in middle age, the “Tiger of Turkestan”; and now, not just anybody, but the genuine “Monsieur” or “Mister” Gurdjieff, or the nephew of “Prince Mukransky,” or finally, simply a “Teacher of Dancing.”

31 The Sixth and Last Sojourn of Beelzebub on the Planet Earth

31.530

“When I had chosen as the place of my fundamental existence the locality in the center of the continent Asia called ‘Turkestan,’ I not only went from there to the places where the processes which interested me proceeded, but during the pauses or lulls in these processes I also traveled a great deal, visiting almost all the continents, and during these travels I encountered beings of most, as they say, ‘peoples.’

33 Beelzebub as Professional Hypnotist

33.582

“And so, my boy, I began my activities in the capacity of a physician-hypnotist, as I have already told you, in the center of the continent Asia, in various towns of Turkestan.

33.582

“I was first in the town of that part of Turkestan which later came to be called ‘Chinese Turkestan’ in contradistinction to that part of it which, from the time of its conquest by beings belonging to the large community Russia, has been called ‘Russian Turkestan.’

33.582

“There was a very great need in the towns of Chinese Turkestan for such a physician as I then became, because among the three-brained beings breeding on this part of the surface of this planet of yours there was developed at that period more strongly than usual two forms of their most pernicious what are called ‘organic habits,’ which also had become proper to be acquired in the presences of the beings of that ill-fated planet.

33.582

“As I have just said, at this period of my activities, my existence passed at first chiefly in various towns of Chinese Turkestan, but circumstances so fell out that later I preferred to be in the towns of Russian Turkestan.

33.582

“Here among the beings of Russian Turkestan, one of the said pernicious habits’ or as they themselves call them ‘vices,’ namely, the smoking of opium, was very rare, and the chewing of anasha was even rarer, but on the other hand, the use of what is called ‘Russian vodka’ flourished luxuriantly there.

33.583

“Well then, while I existed as a physician there among the beings breeding in the towns of Turkestan, I had to work so hard, especially towards the end, that certain functions of my planetary body began to get out of order, and I began to consider therefore how to manage to have the possibility at least for a certain time of doing nothing but only rest.

33.584

“But to remain in this Turkestan and to organize my existence there in such a way as to have the full possibility of giving my planetary body the required rest I could not, in any way, because in almost all the beings there on that part of the surface of your planet, breeding in both Chinese and Russian Turkestan, there had already been crystallized, either through personal perceptions or from the descriptions of others, data for recognizing my appearance; at the same time, each of the ordinary beings of this country wished to speak with me concerning either himself personally or his nearest on account of one of the vices in the deliverance from which I had chanced to become there such an unparalleled specialist.

33.584

“What I then devised and carried out to escape from this situation was the reason why Turkestan—concerning which place there are and will be preserved in my common presence the data then fixed for pleasant memories—ceased to be for me the place of my permanent existence on your planet at the period of this last stay of mine; and thereafter the cities of the ‘famous’ Europe with their cafes with the ‘black liquid’—made of nobody knows what—replaced the towns of Turkestan with their ‘Tchai-kanas’ and their delicious fragrant teas.

33.590

“I failed to have a thorough rest in this Egypt because of circumstances which soon led me to depart from there; and the circumstances that led to my premature departure from Egypt were, strictly speaking, the reason why the towns of dear Turkestan with their pleasant ‘Tchai-kanas’ were replaced as I have already told you by the cities of their famous contemporary cultured continent Europe with the not less famous ‘cafe-restaurants,’ in which, as I have already told you, instead of fragrant teas they offer you a black liquid consisting of nobody knows what.”

41 The Bokharian Dervish Hadji-Asvatz-Troov

41.909

“‘As for the electric lighting, it came here only quite recently, and the initiator of its origin was also one of my friends who is still young and who came from among the Europeans.

41.909

“‘I think it will be better if I tell you the story of each kind of lighting separately.

41.909

“‘At the time when we first moved here, there was not far from here a certain holy place called the “holy cave” to which various “pilgrims” and “devotees” from all over Turkestan used to throng.

41.909

“‘The popular belief about this holy place was that once there had lived in this cave, as it were, the famous “Herailaz,” who later was taken up “alive” into Heaven.

41.909

“‘It was further said in this popular belief that he was taken alive into Heaven so unexpectedly that he even had no time to extinguish the fire which lit his cave.

41.909

“‘This last belief was supported by the fact that in that cave there was indeed an “undying fire.”

43 Beelzebub’s Survey of the Process of the Periodic Reciprocal Destruction of Men, or Beelzebub’s Opinion of War

43.1090

“‘The kazi are the same everywhere, only their names are different. In Persia they are called Persian, in Turkey, Turkish.

43.1090

“‘And that is just as it is everywhere on Earth; donkeys are alike, they are only differently called.

43.1090

“‘For instance, the species of donkey breeding in the Caucasus is called “Karabaghian”; and precisely the same kind of donkey breeding in Turkestan is called “Khorassanian.”’

43.1102

“The destruction of the existence of other forms of beings was resumed there not only privately in houses, among their families, but also publicly in special places.

43.1102

“But this time these special places were chiefly associated in a certain respect with the memory of Saint Mohammed, or with those around him.

43.1102

“The number of these slaughters increased there by year to year to such an extent that already only some hundred or so of their years after the time of the arising of the society ‘The-Earth-Only-for-Men’ the number had amounted during one of their years in one single place alone to a hundred thousand of such beings as they had sacrificed in previous times, namely, ‘oxen,’ ‘sheep,’ ‘camels,’ and so on.

43.1102

“During the last two centuries such special honored favorite places were the cities Mecca and Medina in Arabia, the city Meshed in the locality called Baghdad, the environs of Yenikishlak in Turkestan, and several others….

43.1102

“In a word, there on the continent Asia, blood again ‘flowed like a river.’

43.1102

“These sacrificial offerings were most frequent during the Mohammedan feasts called ‘Bairam’ and ‘Goorban,’ and likewise during the Christian feasts existing there under the name of ‘Shrovetide,’ ‘Saint George’s Day,’ and so on.

44 In the Opinion of Beelzebub, Man’s Understanding of Justice Is for Him in the Objective Sense an Accursed Mirage

44.1137

“And so, my boy! After I had found both of these halves of the copy of the creation of the pending Saint Makary Kronbernkzion by the aforesaid means, and took them to the city of the country now called ‘Turkestan’ in which at that period I had the chief place of my existence, I began to decipher the inscriptions and incisions on the Boolmarshano of the scientific thesis by Makary Kronbernkzion under the title of ‘The Affirming and Denying Influences on Man.’

44.1137-8

“When we return home, I shall without fail try to recall and tell you as nearly as possible word for word the whole contents of this great production of the Reason and, as is said, of the ‘hand’ of a three-brained being, but meanwhile I will expound to you only that part of it in which Makary Kronbernkzion first employed the notion of ‘Good and Evil,’ signifying by these words those forces which are just the basis for the formation of the presence as well as of the flowing state of every separate relatively independent cosmic arising, and also of course of every being.