Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

43 Beelzebub’s Survey of the Process of the Periodic Reciprocal Destruction of Men, or Beelzebub’s Opinion of War

43.1094

“And everything subsequent came about through the influence of a then very famous philosopher, Atarnakh, and his theory expounded by him in a treatise under the title: ‘Why do Wars Occur on the Earth?’

43.1094

“When this philosopher made his appearance among the members of this society, all their notions were confounded.

43.1094

“I know very well the history of this same philosopher Atarnakh also, because during my studies of ever the same consequences of the creations of the Most Saintly Ashiata Shiemash it became necessary for me to learn in detail about his activities also, and of course also about himself.

43.1094

“This philosopher Atarnakh was born in that same city Mosulopolis in a family of those who are called ‘Kurds.’

43.1094

“In the very beginning, this same Kurd, Atarnakh, perseveringly studied during many Earth-years every possible question which it seemed to him might give him an answer to the question, ‘what in general is the sense of man’s existence,’ and during his study of these questions it seems that by some means there fell into his hands a very ancient but well-preserved what is called ‘Sumerian manuscript.’

43.1094

“As my investigation made clear to me, the contents of this manuscript, inscribed by some ancient being, extremely interested the philosopher Atarnakh who was particularly struck by that place of the manuscript where, as presupposed by this ancient learned being, it was said:

43.1095

“‘Obviously our lives serve also for maintaining something great or small in the World.’

43.1095

“This idea expressed in the ancient manuscript so captivated the philosopher Atarnakh that thereafter he devoted himself wholeheartedly to the study of only this aspect of the question which had interested him.

43.1095

“This idea served as the basis for his whole further plausible theory, which, after minute researches during several years and elaborate experimental verifications of his own conclusions, he expounded in his chief work under the name ‘Why Do Wars Occur on the Earth?’

43.1095

“I became acquainted also with this theory of his.

43.1095

“It was indeed near to reality.

43.1095

“All the suppositions of this Kurd Atarnakh were very similar to the great fundamental cosmic law Trogoautoegocrat existing in our Universe, which law I explained to you in more or less detail when I was speaking about the holy planet Purgatory.

43.1095

“In this theory of the philosopher Atarnakh it was very definitely proved that there exists in the world, without any doubt, a law of the ‘reciprocal-maintenance-of-everything-that-exists’ and that for this reciprocal maintenance certain chemical substances also serve, with the help of which the process of the spiritualization of beings, that is to say ‘Life,’ is carried out, and these chemical substances serve for the maintenance of all that exists only after the given life ceases, that is, when a being dies.

43.1095

“With the help of very many elucidatory logical confrontations it was also fully proved in the theory of Atarnakh that at certain periods there must infallibly proceed on the Earth such a definite quantity of deaths as in their totality will yield vibrations of a ‘definite degree of power.’

43.1095-6

“Once, when at a general meeting of the beings-members of this society, ‘The-Earth-Is-Equally-Free-for-All,’ this anything but ordinary terrestrial three-brained being, who was also the elected representative from the whole population of the country called ‘Kurdistan,’ expounded this theory of his very eloquently and in great detail at the request of his fellow members, then great confusion and agitation proceeded among the members of this society.

43.1096

“They were so struck with this theory of his, that at first, as is said there, a ‘sepulchral silence’ prevailed among them for quite a time, and, plunged into stupor, none of them could even stir, and only after the lapse of rather a long time such a great noise and hullabaloo arose among them as if the saving of each one’s life depended on the degree of his excitement and its outer manifestations.

43.1096

“The result of it all was that late in the evening of the same day they unanimously decided to elect from their midst several learned beings, jointly to investigate thoroughly the details of this theory which had struck them and afterwards to make a detailed report upon it to the general assembly.

43.1096

“From the very next day, those elected learned members of the society ‘The-Earth-Is-Equally-Free-for-All’ very earnestly set to work to familiarize themselves with the theory of this Atarnakh.

43.1097

“In consequence of this, from that very same day, as they gradually became familiar with the details of this astonishing theory, they began to get into the state typical of beings of the Earth, that is to say, they began to forget the extraordinary hypothesis that had struck them, which was mentioned in that theory, and began gradually to return, as is proper to three-brained beings there, to their former typically subjective and therefore always changeable conviction, and immediately split into two opposite parties.

43.1097

“Some of these began without any logical criticism to take convincingly on faith all the hypotheses made in this theory; others however did not fail, as is in general proper to most of the learned beings of the Earth, to speak and to prove quite the opposite of these hypotheses; and as a result they worked themselves up into a state of enmity not only against the theory of Atarnakh, but even personally against him himself.

43.1097

“In short, my boy, instead of these learned members, who were elected for the detailed study of the theory of Atarnakh, helping the other members of their society to get out of their confusion and agitation and to unify their disputes among themselves, they brought still more bewilderment into their notions, and gradually in the common presence of each separate member of this earnest society, data began to arise automatically for two totally opposite convictions.

43.1097-8

“The first of these convictions was that everything takes place precisely according to the theory of the philosopher Atarnakh, that is to say, that there must necessarily proceed ‘wars’ and ‘civil wars’ on the Earth quite independently of the personal consciousness of men; and the second conviction was that which all the members of the society had already previously had, namely, that if they succeeded in carrying out the program which their society had set itself, this evil also which proceeded on their planet might be destroyed root and branch, and everything might proceed in a desirable way.

43.1098

“It was just from that time that discussions, quarrels, and disturbances arose among all the members of that society; and in this case also the same began to proceed as I already mentioned and as had in general long before become customary there: Those quarrels and disturbances of theirs gradually spread also among the ordinary beings there, in this case to the citizens of the city Mosulopolis, and were the cause of the inflaming of their abnormal psyche.

43.1098

“And I do not know how all this would have ended, if the brothers of the society, ‘The Assembly of the Enlightened,’ had not also just then arrived there and had not taken a hand in this affair.

43.1098

“Thanks to their influence, all the members of this serious society gradually calmed down and started anew peaceably and seriously to ponder and deliberate upon just what to do in the future.

43.1098

“The result of all their serious deliberations and ponderings was that they unanimously elected Atarnakh as their chief director, and begged him to help them to find an issue from this situation.

43.1098

“After several meetings, already directed by the Kurd philosopher Atarnakh himself, the following categorical conclusion was unanimously arrived at.

43.1098-9

“According to the laws of Nature, there must periodically always proceed on the Earth, independently of the will of men, ‘wars’ and ‘civil wars’; and this is because during certain periods there is required for Nature a greater quantity of deaths. In view of this we are all, with much grief but with inevitable inner resignation, compelled to agree that by no mental decisions of man is it possible to abolish the shedding of blood between states and within states themselves; and we therefore unanimously resolve to wind up current affairs and everything done by our society and perforce disperse for home and there to drag out our inescapable ‘burden of life.’

43.1099

“It was only after this categorical resolution was proposed when all the members without exception of that indeed serious society decided to begin that same day the complete liquidation of all their affairs; only then did that, in the opinion held there, truly learned, though very proud and self-loving Kurd Atarnakh ascend the cathedra and speak as follows:

43.1099

“‘My honorable colleagues:

43.1099

“‘I am very sincerely grieved that I have unintentionally been the cause of the dissolution of this great philanthropic undertaking, into which you, the most honorable and wise of all the countries of the Earth, have for several years put more impartial and unselfish labor than men of the Earth have ever been or ever again will be able to bear for others, that is, for men quite unknown and indifferent to them.

43.1099

“‘You have labored unceasingly for some years to obtain for the masses the most necessary welfare and, although I too have worked upon my theory for many years, also for people unknown to me, nevertheless it has been the cause of the frustration of your indefatigable labors and benevolent aspirations.

43.1099

“‘The consciousness that it seems that I am to blame for all the misunderstandings which have arisen among you has given me no peace during these last days, and I have been thinking and pondering all the time whether it is not possible somehow to repair this involuntary fault of mine.

43.1099-100

“‘And so, wise colleagues elected from the whole Earth, I wish to share with you the final conclusion to which these deliberations of mine have brought me.

43.1100

“‘If the universal laws I have discovered are opposed to the means you expected might bring a certain happiness to mankind, then, however strange it may seem to you at first glance, if only these same laws be employed otherwise, they might serve for the attainment of this aim we have set for ourselves.

43.1100

“‘Now listen to what we must do to attain this aim. The results of all my researches clearly prove that Nature requires that at certain periods a certain number of deaths should take place on the Earth; and at the same time I have succeeded in making clear that for the needs of Nature it is indifferent which deaths these are, whether deaths of people themselves or deaths of the lives of other forms of beings.

43.1100

“‘From this it follows that if the number of deaths required by Nature is made up by the deaths of other forms of lives of the Earth, then obviously the need for the number of deaths of men themselves will thus be of itself correspondingly reduced.

43.1100

“‘And it will be quite possible to attain to this if all the members of our society continue to work with the same intensity, only not with the aim of realizing our former program, but of reviving upon the Earth on a larger scale than before the ancient custom among men of offering sacrifices to their gods and saints by destroying the lives of other forms.’

43.1100

“When this proud Kurd had finished his speech, there arose among the members of the society ‘The-Earth-Is-Equally-Free-for-All’ an astonishment and agitation not less than on the occasion when he had first expounded his famous theory.

43.1100-1

“For nearly three days and three nights following that memorable day they scarcely adjourned, but in the halls that had been put by the citizens of Mosulopolis at the disposal of this all-planetary society of men-beings there was a continuous rumble of discussion and deliberation; at last, on the fourth day, an official general meeting was convened at which by general consent a resolution was carried, to do in the future also everything exactly as should be indicated by the great Kurd, the philosopher Atarnakh.

43.1101

“Some days later, the members of that society now under the new motto, ‘The-Earth-Only-for-Men,’ dispersed from the city Mosulopolis to their native countries where, under the general instructions issuing from the philosopher Atarnakh, they so acted that among the populations of the continent Asia the idea should be strengthened and again take root of ‘making themselves agreeable’ to their gods and idols by killing beings of different forms.

43.1103

“So it continued until that time when a certain famous Assadulla Ibrahim Ogly, a Persian dervish who obtained his arising and who was formed into a responsible being on that same continent, turned all this in another direction.

43.1103

“The dervish Assadulla Ibrahim Ogly began his activities there only some thirty or forty terrestrial years ago.

43.1103

“Being simply only a fanatic of the Mohammedan religion without that serious and deeply learned knowledge possessed by the Kurd Atarnakh, he perceived in the custom of sacrificial offerings only horrible injustice on the part of the people toward beings of other forms, and he set as the aim of his existence to obtain, at whatever cost, the destruction on the Earth of this, in his opinion, antireligious custom.

43.1104

“In short, the result of all the activity of this ‘good’ Persian dervish was precisely the latest great process of reciprocal destruction, or, as your favorites call it, ‘The Great World War.’

43.1104

“And so, my boy, although the hypothesis put forward in the theory of that uncommon learned Kurd Atarnakh very nearly, as I have already told you, approximated to reality, yet nevertheless he failed to understand what was most important, namely, that the vibrations required by Nature, which have to be formed from the radiations issuing from beings both during their existence as well as from the process of their Rascooarno, have no significance quantitatively, but only qualitatively.

43.1104

“It is possible that the Kurd Atarnakh, being an unusual terrestrial being, would have understood this also if he had known the details of the results that had been obtained after those conditions of being-existence had been already more or less established on this planet, which were especially created for the three-brained beings arising there by the Most Saintly Labors of the ‘essence-loving’ Very Saintly Ashiata Shiemash.

43.1105

“During that said period, not only did their rate of ‘mortality’ begin to decline, but what they call their birth rate also began to decline.