Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

45 In the Opinion of Beelzebub, Man’s Extraction of Electricity from Nature and Its Destruction During Its Use, Is One of the Chief Causes of the Shortening of the Life of Man

45.1147

“Toof-Nef-Tef on the planet Mars is the name given to the being who is the head of all the three-brained beings breeding on this planet, and he is like that being who in the same position on your planet is called ‘king.’

45.1147

“I knew this Toof-Nef-Tef or king in his youth when he was only a ‘Plef-Perf-Noof,’ and a Plef-Perf-Noof is almost the same as our Zirlikners or, on your planet Earth, ‘physicians.’

45.1147

“Apropos, I must also tell you that on almost all the planets of our Great Universe and likewise on the other planets of this solar system also, a being becomes the head of beings by merit, just from among these former Plef-Perf-Noofs, or physicians.

45.1147

“My first meeting with the Martian Toof-Nef-Tef took place when we first arrived in this solar system and settled on this planet Mars. He was then a Plef-Perf-Noof just on that part of the surface of this planet where I and all who came with me had the place of our residence.

45.1147-8

“Since then, existing on various parts of the surface of the planet Mars in the capacity of Plef-Perf-Noof, he merited becoming the head over all the beings breeding on the planet Mars; and when he neared the state of the sacred ‘Ischmetch,’ he desired to return to just that part of the surface of his planet where he had spent his youth. That is why this former Plef-Perf-Noof, now Toof-Nef-Tef, happened at that time to be near the place of my residence on Mars.

45.1148

“This Martian Toof-Nef-Tef was, according to the notions of your favorites, already an extremely old being: he was by the time-calculation of the planet Mars about twelve thousand Martian years old, which is only a little less than the time-calculation of the Earth.