Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson




6 Perpetual Motion


“Its chief part is made of ‘amber’ with ‘platinum’ hoops, and the interior panels of the walls are made of ‘anthracite,’ ‘copper,’ and ‘ivory,’ and a very strong ‘mastic’ unaffectable either by (1) ‘paischakir’ or by (2) ‘tainolair’ or by (3) ‘saliakooriapa1 or even by the radiations of cosmic concentrations.


1 (1) Cold, (2) heat, and (3) water.


21 The First Visit of Beelzebub to India


“One of these trinkets, then on the continent Atlantis, just as now on the other continents of the planet Earth, was and is this same pearl.

“The said pearl is formed in one-brained beings which breed in the ‘Saliakooriap’ of your planet Earth, that is to say, in that part of it which is called ‘Hentralispana,’ or, as your favorites might express it, the blood of the planet, which is present in the common presence of every planet and which serves the actualizing of the process of the Most Great common-cosmic Trogoautoegocrat; and there on your planet this part is called ‘water.’


“This one-brained being in which the said pearl is formed used to breed in the ‘Saliakooriapnian,’ or water-areas, surrounding the continent Atlantis; but in consequence of the great demand for the said pearl and therefore of the great destruction of these one-brained ‘pearl-bearing beings,’ soon none were left near this continent.

“Thereupon, when those beings there who made the aim and sense of their existence the destruction of these pearl-bearing beings, that is to say, who destroyed their existence only in order to procure that part of their common presence called pearl merely for the gratification of their quite absurd egoism, found no more of these said pearl-bearing beings in the water-area nearest to the continent Atlantis, they, that is, these ‘professionals,’ then began to look for them in other water-areas and gradually moved further and further away from their own continent.


“Once during these searches of theirs, owing to what are called ‘Saliakooriapnian-displacements,’ or as they say, prolonged ‘storms,’ their rafts came unexpectedly to a place where there proved to be a great number of these pearl-bearing beings; and the place itself was extremely convenient for their destruction.


22 Beelzebub for the First Time in Tibet


“Clearly to understand in what work it was there that I became interested, you must know, first of all, that the planet Mars is for the system Ors, to which it belongs, what is called a ‘Mdnel-outian’ link in the transformation of cosmic substances, in consequence of which it has what is called a ‘Keskestasantnian-firm-surface,’ that is to say, one half of its surface consists of land-presence and the other of ‘Saliakooriapnian’ masses; or, as your favorites would say, one half of it is land or one continuous continent, and the other half is covered with water.


“So, my boy, as the three-brained beings of the planet Mars use for their first being-food exclusively only ‘prosphora’—or as your favorites call it, ‘bread’—they, for the purpose of obtaining it, sow on the land of half of their planet what is called ‘wheat,’ and as this wheat derives the moisture it needs, for what is called evolving Djartklom, only from what is called ‘dew,’ the result is that a grain of wheat yields only a seventh part of the accomplished process of the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh, that is to say, what is called the ‘yield’ of the harvest is only a seventh.


“As this amount of wheat was insufficient for their needs, while to get more of it they would have to utilize the presence of the planetary Saliakooriap, the three-centered beings there from the very beginning of our arrival there were always talking of conducting that same Saliakooriap in the requisite quantity, from the opposite side of their planet to that side on which their being-existence proceeded.


“And when several of their years later they finally decided the question and began making every preparation, they began operations just before my return from the planet Earth, that is to say, they began digging special canals for conducting the Saliakooriap.


23 The Fourth Personal Sojourn of Beelzebub on the Planet Earth


“Near where this river flowed into a large ‘Saliakooriapnian area’ those constructions were just being completed, one part of which then interested me.


24 Beelzebub’s Flight to the Planet Earth for the Fifth Time


“Having crossed the eastern heights, those who went east settled down on the shores of the large Saliakooriapnian spaces, and this country was later called ‘China.’


“This time our ship Occasion alighted on what is called the ‘Persian Gulf’ because we had ascertained through the Teskooano before our flight that for our further traveling, that is, to reach the town of Babylon and also for the mooring of our ship Occasion itself, the most convenient place would be that same Saliakooriapnian space of the surface of your planet now existing there under the name of the Persian Gulf.


33 Beelzebub as Professional Hypnotist


“During this planetary tremor, an island then called ‘Siapora’ situated on the north side of a still existing island called ‘Cyprus,’ gradually in a very peculiar way entered into the planet during five terrestrial years, and while this process lasted, there proceeded in the surrounding great Saliakooriapnian space extraordinary what are called ‘low’ and ‘high tides,’ as a result of which a great deal of sand from beneath the Saliakooriap rose to the surface of this terra firma and mingled with sands of the already mentioned origin.