Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson




10 Why “Men” Are Not Men


“The process of existence on this planet also began gradually to be established and it seemed, from all appearances, that the process of existence was proceeding there just as on all other planets.


“But by close observation, first, it could be clearly seen that the numbers of these three-brained beings were gradually increasing and, secondly, it was possible sometimes to observe very strange manifestations of theirs; that is, from time to time they did something which was never done by three-brained beings on other planets, namely, they would suddenly, without rhyme or reason, begin destroying one another’s existence.


“Sometimes this destruction of one another’s existence proceeded there not in one region alone but in several, and would last not just one ‘Dionosk’ but many ‘Dionosks’ and sometimes even for whole ‘Ornakras.’ (Dionosk signifies ‘day’; Ornakra signifies ‘month.’)


39 The Holy Planet “Purgatory”


After several Dionosks the cosmic ship Karnak left the holy planet, and again began to fall further in the direction of the place of its final destination, and, namely, in the direction of that planet on which Beelzebub had had the place of his arising and whither he was returning to finish his long existence; to finish that long existence of his, which, on account of certain definite circumstances, he had to fulfill on various cosmic concentrations of our Great Universe and always under conditions very unfavorable for him personally, yet which he nevertheless objectively fulfilled quite meritoriously.


“Even many two-brained and one-brained beings of this same planet, such as for instance the beings called there ‘hyenas,’ ‘cats,’ ‘wolves,’ ‘lions,’ ‘tigers,’ ‘wild dogs,’ ‘bagooshis ‘frogs,’ and many others who have not in their what are called ‘law-conformable-presences’ any data at all which give the possibility of ‘comparative logic,’ at the present time still continue, of course only instinctively, to sense this act as sacred, and manifest it only during those periods which were foredesigned by Great Nature for this sacred sacrament, namely, chiefly at the period of the beginning of a new completing movement of that cosmic concentration on which they have their place of arising and existence, that is, during the period which three-brained beings everywhere call the ‘Dionosks-of-the-sacred-sacraments-of-Serooazar,’ and which on the planet which has interested you are called ‘spring days.’


“Perhaps, my boy, you do not yet know anything about the ‘sacred-sacraments-of-the-great-Serooazar’?” Beelzebub asked his grandson.


To this question of Beelzebub’s his grandson Hassein replied thus:


“No, dear Grandfather, the details of this I do not yet know; I only know that these Dionosks are regarded among us on the planet Karatas as great holy days and are called ‘Helping-God-Dionosks,’ and I know that for these great holy days, the Dionosks, all our beings, ‘Actavus’ as well as ‘Passavus,’ prepare themselves almost from the end of the previous holy day, and that one ‘Loonias’ before the beginning of these sacred sacraments, both old and young among us cease to introduce the first being-food into themselves and, by various sacred ceremonies, mentally give thanks to our COMMON CREATOR for their existence.


“I also know that the last two of these solemn Dionosks are considered and called among us the ‘Dionosks-for-the-glorifying-of-the-first-producer-of-each-family.’


“And that is why, my dear Grandfather, every year during these Dionosks we all remembered and talked only of you, and each one of us strove with his whole Being to manifest the sincere wish that your destiny may constantly create for you those conditions of being-existence which might aid you quickly and easily to bring your Reason up to the required sacred gradation and that thereby you might the sooner finish your present ‘ordinary-being-existence,’ personally burdensome for you.”


42 Beelzebub in America


Two “Dionosks” later, when the intersystem ship Karnak had resumed its falling, and the confirmed followers of our respected Mullah Nassr Eddin had again sat down in their usual seats, Hassein once more turned to Beelzebub with the following words:


46 Beelzebub Explains to His Grandson the Significance of the Form and Sequence Which He Chose for Expounding the Information Concerning Man


Only after a rather long time, when the planetary body of Hassein was a little calmed did he, gazing at his grandfather with very sad eyes, but yet with a smile of affection, say:


“Do not worry about me, my dear Grandfather, this state of mine will soon pass. Evidently during the last ‘dianosk’ I actively pondered a great deal and in all probability, from this unaccustomed ‘newly tempoed’ functioning, the general tempo of the functioning of the whole of my common presence has changed.


When Hassein finished speaking Beelzebub looked long and fixedly into his eyes, and then, with a smile which revealed a being-impulse of love, he said:


“Now I see that during the last dianosk you indeed actively pondered a great deal, or, as certain of your contemporary favorites would express themselves, ‘during this time you did not inwardly sleep.’ Now let us take our usual places and speak about that theme to which I already once promised you to refer, and which will be wholly appropriate to the present occurrence.”