Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson

CHAPTER 9
The Cause of the Genesis of the Moon

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Beelzebub began his tale as follows:

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“After we arrived on the planet Mars where we were directed to exist, we began slowly to settle down there.

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“We were still fully absorbed in the bustle of organizing everything externally necessary for a more or less tolerable existence in the midst of that Nature absolutely foreign to us, when suddenly, on one of the very busiest days, the whole planet Mars was shaken, and a little later such an ‘asphyxiating stink’ arose that at first it seemed that everything in the Universe had been mixed up with something, one might say ‘indescribable.’

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“Only after a considerable time had passed and when the said stink had gone, did we recover and gradually make out what had happened.

“We understood that the cause of this terrible phenomenon was just that same planet Earth which from time to time approached very near to our planet Mars and which therefore we had possibilities of observing clearly, sometimes even without a ‘Teskooano.’

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“For reasons we could not yet comprehend, this planet, it transpired, had ‘burst’ and two fragments detached from it had flown off into space.

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“I have already told you that this solar system was then still being formed and was not yet ‘blended’ completely with what is called ‘The-Harmony-of-Reciprocal-Maintenance-of-All-Cosmic-Concentrations.’

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“It was subsequently learned that in accordance with this said ‘General-Cosmic-Harmony-of-Reciprocal-Maintenance-of-All-Cosmic-Concentrations’ there had also to function in this system a comet of what is called ‘vast orbit’ still existing and named the comet ‘Kondoor.’

“And just this very comet, although it was then already concentrated, was actualizing its ‘full path’ for only the first time.

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“As certain competent Sacred Individuals also later confidentially explained to us, the line of the path of the said comet had to cross the line on which the path of that planet Earth also lay; but as a result of the erroneous calculations of a certain Sacred Individual concerned with the matters of World-creation and World-maintenance, the time of the passing of each of these concentrations through the point of intersection of the lines of their paths coincided, and owing to this error the planet Earth and the comet ‘Kondoor’ collided, and collided so violently that from this shock, as I have already told you, two large fragments were broken off from the planet Earth and flew into space.

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“This shock entailed these serious consequences because on account of the recent arising of this planet, the atmosphere which might have served as a buffer in such a case had not yet had time to be completely formed upon it.

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“And, my boy, our ENDLESSNESS was also immediately informed of this general cosmic misfortune.

“In consequence of this report, a whole commission consisting of Angels and Archangels, specialists in the work of World-creation and World-maintenance, under the direction of the Most Great Archangel Sakaki, was immediately sent from the Most Holy Sun Absolute to that solar system ‘Ors.’

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“The Most High Commission came to our planet Mars since it was the nearest to the planet Earth and from this planet of ours began its investigations.

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“The sacred members of this Most High Commission at once quieted us by saying that the apprehended danger of a catastrophe on a great cosmic scale had already passed.

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“And the Arch-Engineer Archangel Algamatant was good enough to explain to us personally that in all probability what had happened was as follows:

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“‘The broken-off fragments of the planet Earth had lost the momentum they received from the shock before they had reached the limit of that part of space which is the sphere of this planet, and hence, according to the “Law of Falling,” these fragments had begun to fall back towards their fundamental piece.

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“‘But they could no longer fall upon their fundamental piece, because in the meantime they had come under the cosmic law called “Law-of-Catching-Up” and were entirely subject to its influence, and they would therefore now make regular elliptic orbits around their fundamental piece, just as the fundamental piece, namely, the planet Earth, made and makes its orbit around its sun “Ors.”

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“‘And so it will always continue, unless some new unforeseen catastrophe on a large scale changes it in one way or another.

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“‘Glory to Chance…’ concluded His Pantemeasurability, ‘the harmonious general-system movement was not destroyed by all this, and the peaceful existence of that system “Ors” was soon re-established.’

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“But nevertheless, my boy, this Most High Commission, having then calculated all the facts at hand, and also all that might happen in the future, came to the conclusion that although the fragments of the planet Earth might maintain themselves for the time being in their existing positions, yet in view of certain so-called ‘Tastartoonarian-displacements’ conjectured by the Commission, they might in the future leave their position and bring about a large number of irreparable calamities both for this system ‘Ors’ and for other neighboring solar systems.

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“Therefore the Most High Commission decided to take certain measures to avoid this eventuality.

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“And they resolved that the best measure in the given case would be that the fundamental piece, namely, the planet Earth, should constantly send to its detached fragments, for their maintenance, the sacred vibrations ‘askokin.’

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“This sacred substance can be formed on planets only when both fundamental cosmic laws operating in them, the sacred ‘Heptaparaparshinokh’ and the sacred ‘Triamazikamno,’ function, as is called, ‘Ilnosoparno,’ that is to say, when the said sacred cosmic laws in the given cosmic concentration are deflected independently and also manifest on its surface independently—of course independently only within certain limits.

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“And so, my boy, inasmuch as such a cosmic actualization was possible only with the sanction of HIS ENDLESSNESS, the Great Archangel Sakaki, accompanied by several other sacred members of that Most High Commission, set off immediately to HIS ENDLESSNESS to beseech Him to give the said sanction.

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“And afterwards, when the said Sacred Individuals had obtained the sanction of HIS ENDLESSNESS for the actualization of the Ilnosoparnian process on that planet also, and when this process had been actualized under the direction of the same Great Archangel Sakaki, then from that time on, on that planet also, just as on many others, there began to arise the ‘Corresponding,’ owing to which the said detached fragments exist until now without constituting a menace for a catastrophe on a great scale.

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“Of these two fragments, the larger was named ‘Loonderperzo’ and the smaller ‘Anulios’; and the ordinary three-brained beings who afterwards arose and were formed on this planet also at first called them by these names; but the beings of later times called them differently at different periods, and in most recent times the larger fragment has come to be called Moon, but the name of the smaller has been gradually forgotten.

“As for the beings there now, not only have they no name at all for this smaller fragment, but they do not even suspect its existence.

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“It is interesting to notice here that the beings of a continent on that planet called ‘Atlantis,’ which afterwards perished, still knew of this second fragment of their planet and also called it ‘Anulios,’ but the beings of the last period of the same continent, in whom the results of the consequences of the properties of that organ called ‘Kundabuffer’—about which, it now seems, I shall have to explain to you even in great detail—had begun to be crystallized and to become part of their common presences, called it also ‘Kimespai,’ the meaning of which for them was ‘Never-Allowing-One-to-Sleep-in-Peace.’

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“Contemporary three-brained beings of this peculiar planet do not know of this former fragment of their planet, chiefly because its comparatively small size and the remoteness of the place of its movement make it quite invisible to their sight, and also because no ‘grandmother’ ever told them that once upon a time any such little satellite of their planet was known.

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“And if any of them should by chance see it through their good, but nevertheless child’s toy of theirs called a telescope, he would pay no attention to it, mistaking it simply for a big aerolite.

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“The contemporary beings will probably never see it again, since it has become quite proper to their nature to see only unreality.

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“Let us give them their due; during recent centuries they have really most artistically mechanized themselves to see nothing real.

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“So, my boy, owing to all the aforesaid, there first arose on this planet Earth also, as there should, what are called ‘Similitudes-of-the-Whole,’ or as they are also called ‘Microcosmoses,’ and further, there were formed from these ‘Microcosmoses,’ what are called ‘Oduristelnian’ and ‘Polormedekhtic’ vegetations.

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“Still further, as also usually occurs, from the same ‘Microcosmoses’ there also began to be grouped various forms of what are called ‘Tetartocosmoses’ of all three brain-systems.

“And among these latter there then first arose just those biped ‘Tetartocosmoses’ whom you a while ago called ‘slugs.’

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“About how and why upon planets, during the transition of the fundamental sacred laws into ‘Ilnosoparnian,’ there arise ‘Similitudes-of-the-Whole’ and about what factors contribute to the formation of one or another of these, as they are called, ‘systems of being-brains,’ and also about all the laws of World-creation and World-maintenance in general, I will explain to you specially some other time.

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“But meanwhile, know that these three-brained beings arising on the planet Earth, who interest you, had in them in the beginning the same possibilities for perfecting the functions for the acquisition of being-Reason as have all other forms of ‘Tetartocosmoses’ arising throughout the whole Universe.

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“But afterwards, just in the period when they also, as it proceeds on other similar planets of our great Universe, were beginning gradually to be spiritualized by what is called ‘being-instinct,’ just then, unfortunately for them, there befell a misfortune which was unforeseen from Above and most grievous for them.”