Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson




1 The Arousing of Thought


This property newly formed in me after this event—when I, of course with the co-operation of our ALL-COMMON MASTER THE MERCILESS HEROPASS, that is the “flow of time,” was transformed into the young man already depicted by me—became for me a real inextinguishable hearth, always burning, of consciousness.


16 The Relative Understanding of Time


“It is necessary to notice that in the Great Universe all phenomena in general, without exception wherever they arise and manifest, are simply successively law-conformable ‘Fractions’ of some whole phenomenon which has its prime arising on the ‘Most Holy Sun Absolute.’


“And in consequence, all cosmic phenomena, wherever they proceed, have a sense of ‘objectivity.’


“And these successively law-conformable ‘Fractions’ are actualized in every respect, and even in the sense of their involution and evolution, owing to the chief cosmic law, the sacred ‘Heptaparaparshinokh.’


“Only Time alone has no sense of objectivity because it is not the result of the fractioning of any definite cosmic phenomena. And it does not issue from anything, but blends always with everything and becomes self-sufficiently independent; therefore, in the whole of the Universe, it alone can be called and extolled as the ‘Ideally-Unique-Subjective-Phenomenon.’


“Thus, my boy, uniquely Time alone, or, as it is sometimes called, the ‘Heropass,’ has no source from which its arising should depend, but like ‘Divine-Love’ flows always, as I have already told you, independently by itself, and blends proportionately with all the phenomena present in the given place and in the given arisings of our Great Universe.


“And meanwhile remember, that although the fundamental motives for the diminution of the duration of the existence of the three-brained beings of this planet were from causes not depending on them, yet nevertheless, subsequently, the main grounds for all the sad results were—and particularly now continue to be—the abnormal conditions of external ordinary being-existence established by them themselves. Owing to these conditions the duration of their existence has, down to the present time, continued to become shorter and shorter, and now is already diminished to such a degree that, at the present time, the difference between the duration of the process of the existence of the three-brained beings of other planets in the whole of the Universe and the duration of the process of the existence of the three-brained beings of the planet Earth has become the same as the difference between the real duration of their existence and the duration of the existence of the infinitesimal beings in that drop of water we took as an example.


“You now understand, my boy, that even the Most Great Heropass of Time has also been compelled to actualize obvious absurdities in the presences of these unfortunate three-brained beings who arise and exist on this ill-fated planet Earth.


“And thanks to all I have just explained to you, you can put yourself in the position of and understand the although merciless, yet always, and in everything, just Heropass.”


17 The Arch-absurd According to the Assertion of Beelzebub, Our Sun Neither Lights nor Heats


“It is necessary to say, first of all, that everything in the Universe, both the intentionally created and the later automatically arisen, exists and is maintained exclusively on the basis of what is called the ‘common-cosmic Trogoautoegocratic-process.’


“This Most Great common-cosmic Trogoautoegocratic-process was actualized by our ENDLESS UNI-BEING, when our Most Great and Most Holy Sun Absolute had already existed, on which our ALL-GRACIOUS ENDLESS CREATOR had and still has the chief place of His existence.


“This system, which maintains everything arisen and existing, was actualized by our ENDLESS CREATOR in order that what is called the ‘exchange of substances’ or the ‘Reciprocal-feeding’ of everything that exists, might proceed in the Universe and thereby that the merciless ‘Heropass’ might not have its maleficent effect on the Sun Absolute.


23 The Fourth Personal Sojourn of Beelzebub on the Planet Earth


“And the possibility in the given case of such an abnormal blending of two different kinds of ExioĆ«hary then occurred owing only to a certain cosmic law called the ‘affinity of the number of the totality of vibrations,’ which proceeded owing to the second Transapalnian perturbation to this ill-fated planet and which then still continued to act for its own common presence.


“Concerning this cosmic law just mentioned, it is now absolutely necessary to tell you that it arose and began to exist in the Universe after the fundamental sacred law of Triamazikamno was changed by OUR CREATOR for the purpose of rendering the Heropass harmless, and after its previously totally independent holy parts had begun to be dependent upon forces coming from outside.

“You will understand this cosmic law also in all its aspects when, as I have already promised you, I shall explain to you in detail all the fundamental laws in general of World-creation and World-existence.


39 The Holy Planet “Purgatory”


“From the third most sacred canticle of our cherubim and seraphim, we were worthy of learning that our CREATOR OMNIPOTENT once ascertained that this same Sun Absolute, on which HE dwelt with HIS cherubim and seraphim was, although almost imperceptibly yet nevertheless gradually, diminishing in volume.


“As the fact ascertained by HIM appeared to HIM very serious, HE then decided immediately to review all the laws which maintained the existence of that, then still sole, cosmic concentration.

“During this review our OMNIPOTENT CREATOR for the first time made it clear that the cause of this gradual diminishing of the volume of the Sun Absolute was merely the Heropass, that is, the flow of Time itself.


“Thereupon our ENDLESSNESS became thoughtful, for in HIS Divine deliberations HE became clearly aware that if this Heropass should so continue to diminish the volume of the Sun Absolute, then sooner or later, it would ultimately bring about the complete destruction of this sole place of HIS Being.


“And so, my boy, in view of this, our ENDLESSNESS was then just compelled to take certain corresponding measures, so that from this Heropass the destruction of our Most Most Holy Sun Absolute could not eventually occur.


“Further, again from the sacred canticle of our cherubim and seraphim, but this time the fifth sacred canticle, we were worthy of learning that after this Divine ascertainment of HIS, our ENDLESSNESS devoted HIMSELF entirely to finding a possibility of averting such an inevitable end, which had to occur according to the lawful commands of the merciless Heropass, and that after HIS long Divine deliberations, HE decided to create our present existing ‘Megalocosmos.’


“In order that you may more clearly understand how our ENDLESSNESS decided to attain immunity from the maleficent action of the merciless Heropass and of course how HE ultimately actualized it all, you must first of all know that before this, the Most Most Holy Sun Absolute was maintained and existed on the basis of the system called ‘Autoegocrat,’ i.e., on that principle according to which the inner forces which maintained the existence of this cosmic concentration had an independent functioning, not depending on any forces proceeding from outside, and which were based also on those two fundamental cosmic sacred laws by which at the present time also, the whole of our present Megalocosmos is maintained and on the basis of which it exists, and, namely, on the basis of those two fundamental primordial sacred cosmic laws, called the sacred Heptaparaparshinokh and the sacred Triamazikamno.


“And so, my boy, thanks to this new system of the reciprocal feeding of everything existing in the Universe, in which our Most Most Holy Sun Absolute Itself participated, there was established in it that equilibrium which at the present time no longer gives the merciless Heropass any possibility of bringing about anything unforeseen whatsoever to our Most Great and Most Most Holy Sun Absolute; and thus, the motive for the Divine anxiety of our ALMIGHTY UNI-BEING ENDLESSNESS concerning the wholeness of HIS eternal place of dwelling, disappeared forever.


“Well then, these same many hundreds of definite active elements belonging to seven different ‘Okhtapanatsakhnian-classes’ and having seven different subjective properties—among which the properties of ‘vivifyingness’ and ‘decomposition’ have supreme significance—compose in their totality the fundamental common-cosmic Ansanbaluiazar, by which the Most Great cosmic Trogoautoegocrat is actualized—the true Savior from the law-conformable action of the merciless Heropass.


42 Beelzebub in America


“Further, if this dough, that is, water mixed with flour, is baked over a fire, then, thanks to substances issuing from or formed from this fire—substances which in the given case, as I have already said, serve as the third holy neutralizing force of the sacred law of Triamazikamno—there will result in the given case a chemical fusion, that is, a ‘permanent fusion of substances,’ as a result of which the new totality of substances obtained from this water and the flour, namely, the prosphora or bread, will now resist the merciless Heropass, that is to say, it will not decompose for a much longer time.


“On that day I was sitting in one of the singular cafes there named ‘Childs,’ situated at what is called ‘Columbus Circle,’ awaiting the beings from the continent Europe who had accompanied me to this continent, to go with them to the dock of the outgoing steamer, and I was looking out of the window at the various passing beings from among the inhabitants of that city, who although according to automatized perception were distinguishable on that day in exterior appearance—of course chiefly due to the usage, recently fixed in them more than in any beings of any other continents, of becoming ‘slaves’ to always that same maleficent terrestrial invention which they call ‘fashion’—nevertheless somehow seemed to me, in respect of their inner content, particularly alike.


“Observing them, I thought just about the final deduction I had made the day before, that in the present period of the flow of the Heropass in the common planetary process of the ordinary existence of those in general strange three-brained beings, the source of the intensive manifestation of that already long-established particularity of the general totality of their strange psyche, which one of the highest sacred Individuals once characterized by the words ‘the periodic fundamental source of the issuing of new causes of abnormality,’ is represented just by the beings of this new grouping.


46 Beelzebub Explains to His Grandson the Significance of the Form and Sequence Which He Chose for Expounding the Information Concerning Man


“First of all I shall begin by expressing outwardly in words the impulse of joy concerning you which proceeds from within my common presence. I personally am very, very glad for this crisis which has occurred and still continues in you. I am glad chiefly because your sincere sobbing which I saw and which was manifested just at this present period of your existence, when you, according to the laws of the Great Heropass, are on the threshold of the Being of a responsible being—that is, at just that age when every kind of data for those functionings which during the responsible existence of each three-brained being compose his individuality is crystallized and acquires a harmonious tempo in the common functioning—gives me the assurance that the approximate cognizance or even only the sensing of so to say the ‘taste’ of this being-joy of mine which is at the first glance not logical, is very desirable and even necessary for you at the period of your responsible existence, as well as for all three-brained beings who have reached responsible age. I shall therefore first of all explain to you about it.


47 The Inevitable Result of Impartial Mentation


When the said procession from the Egolionopty neared the beings of Beelzebub’s nature who were assembled in expectation, they halted and all of both forces, differently natured three-brained beings, joined together in singing the “Hymn to our ENDLESSNESS,” which Hymn is always sung on such occasions everywhere in the Universe, by beings of all natures and all forms of exterior coating.


This Hymn consists of the following words:


Thou Long Patient CREATOR Of All That Breathes,
Thou Abundantly LOVING CAUSE Of All That Exists,
Thou Unique VANQUISHER Of The Merciless Heropass,
Now To The Sounds Of Our Glorifying
Only Rejoice And Abide In Beatitude.
By Thy Unprecedented Labors Thou Hast Given Us The Beginning Of Our Arisings,
By Thy Vanquishing Of The Heropass Have We Obtained The Possibility
Of Perfecting Ourselves To The Sacred Anklad.
And Now Only Rest, As Merited,
And We, In Gratitude, Will Maintain All That Thou Hast Created
And Always And In All Things Will Extol Thee Forever,
Thou, The Beginning Of All Ends,
Thou, Proceeding From Infinity,
Thou, Having The End Of All Things Within Thyself,