Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson




17 The Arch-absurd According to the Assertion of Beelzebub, Our Sun Neither Lights nor Heats


“You, for instance, have the normal presence of a three-brained being, and within your presence there is intentionally ‘implanted’ from without, ‘Oskiano,’ or as they say there on the Earth, ‘education,’ which is founded on a morality based solely on the commandments and indications of the UNI-BEING HIMSELF and the Most Holy Individuals near to Him. And yet, if you should chance to be there among them, you would be unable to prevent the process in yourself of the ‘being-Nerhitrogool,’ that is, the process which, again there on the Earth, is called ‘irrepressible inner laughter’; that is to say, you would not be able to restrain yourself from such laughter, if in some way or another, they were suddenly clearly to sense and understand, without any doubt whatever, that not only does nothing like ‘light,’ ‘darkness,’ ‘heat,’ and so on, come to their planet from their Sun itself, but that their supposed ‘source of heat and light’ is itself almost always freezing cold like the ‘hairless-dog’ of our highly esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin.


39 The Holy Planet “Purgatory”


“Grandfather, oh, dear grandfather! Explain to me, please, why, as my uncle Tooilan told me, does our COMMON ALL-EMBRACING UNI-BEING AUTOCRAT ENDLESSNESS appear so often on this holy planet on which we have just been?”


At this question of his grandson, Beelzebub this time became thoughtful a little longer than usual and then, also with greater concentration than was usual for him, slowly said:


“Yes… I do not know, my dear boy, with what to begin this time in order to answer this question of yours in such a form as would satisfy me also, since among many other tasks I have set myself in respect of you, as regards your ‘Oskiano,’ there is also this, that you, at your age, should have an exhaustive knowledge and understanding about this holy planet.


“In any case, you must first of all be told that this same holy planet, which is called Purgatory, is for the whole of our Great Universe, as it were, the heart and place of concentration of all the completing results of the pulsation of everything that functions and exists in the Universe.


40 Beelzebub Tells How People Learned and Again Forgot About the Fundamental Cosmic Law of Heptaparaparshinokh


“My dear and kind Grandfather! Please help me to clear up for myself one contradiction which I do not understand and which does not accord with my logical confrontations.


“When you began your elucidations about the holy planet Purgatory, you enjoined me to try to take in everything you spoke about, without missing anything, and you also enjoined me constantly to maintain the intensive tension of my ‘active mentation,’ so that corresponding data for the formation of the notion relating to every question explaining the details of both primordial fundamental sacred cosmic laws should be completely crystallized in me. I did indeed try during all your elucidations to do so, and, it seems to me, I cleared up so much for myself about these cosmic laws that I could perhaps even freely explain them to someone else.


“In any case I can already very well represent to myself the sacred law of Triamazikamno with the particularities of all three of its sacred independent forces and cognize it for my personal essence quite satisfactorily; but as regards the sacred law of Heptaparaparshinokh, then, although I have not yet fully made clear to my reason certain of its, in my opinion, unimportant details, nevertheless I hope that with a little more active pondering I shall understand them as well.


“Now, however, after I had—while trying to assimilate well these sacred laws—clearly sensed and become aware that they are very complicated and in general difficult for a ‘complete understanding,’ it suddenly greatly astonished me and continues to astonish and interest me how the three-brained beings who arise and exist on the planet Earth could not only understand these sacred cosmic laws, but could even have constated them among the surrounding cosmic results, because, from all your tales about them, I got the full impression that since the second Transapalnian perturbation there, when each of the newly arising results of theirs becomes a responsible being, he becomes, thanks to the abnormal prevailing Oskiano, the possessor of only ‘automatic-Reason.’

“And that it is impossible to understand both of these sacred cosmic laws with such a Reason, I became convinced with the whole of my essence when I myself tried to understand them.”


Having said this, Hassein looked questioningly and eagerly at his beloved Grandfather.


Having thought a little, Beelzebub began to speak as follows:


“All right, my dear boy, I shall try to elucidate to you also about this natural perplexity which justly arises within you.

“It seems to me I already once told you that although from the period you mentioned on that planet almost all the three-brained beings there became, thanks to the abnormally established conditions of ordinary being-existence, possessors of only an automatic-Reason, nevertheless it does sometimes happen there that certain of them by chance escape this common fate and that instead of that automatic-Reason which has become usual there, a genuine objective ‘being-Reason’ is formed in certain of them as it is in all three-centered beings of our great Megalocosmos.


“Although such exceptions, especially during recent centuries, are very rare there, yet, I repeat, they nevertheless do occur.


“In order that you may approximately represent to yourself and understand just how such exceptions may occur among them, you must first of all know that, in spite of the fact that from the time when all the consequences of the properties of the organ Kundabuffer began to be crystallized in them and it became proper to them to have automatic-Reason during their responsible existence, yet, nevertheless, always and up to the present time, at the arising and the beginning of the formation of each one of them, there is always in their presence the germs of all possibilities for the crystallization, during their completing formation into responsible beings, of corresponding being-data, which later during responsible existence could serve for the engendering and functioning of objective-Reason, which should be in the common presences of three-brained beings of all natures and of all external forms, and which, in itself, is nothing else but, so to say, the ‘representative-of-the-Very-Essence-of-Divinity.’


“Their, in the objective sense, extreme misfortune about that which you yourself already ‘perplexedly-instinctively-suspect,’ as I discern from the formulation of your question, especially from your having mentioned Oskiano, consists just in this, that they, having indeed at their arising such possibilities in themselves, immediately fall from the very first days after the separation from their mother’s womb—only thanks to the abnormalities established in the process of ordinary being-existence of beings around them who have already reached responsible age—under the stubborn influence of that maleficent means, invented by them themselves for themselves, which as I already told you, represents in itself a something of the kind of Oskiano which they call ‘education.’


“And in consequence, in this way all possibilities for the free formation of all that which is required for the engendering of objective being-Reason is gradually atrophied and finally disappears in these unfortunate, so to say, ‘still-innocent-in-everything’ newly arising beings during the period of their what is called ‘preparatory age,’ and as a result, when these newly arising beings later become responsible beings, they, in their, so to say, ‘essence-center-of-gravity,’ become the possessors, not of that objective-Reason which they ought to have, but of that strange totality of automatically perceived artificial even deceptive impressions which, having nothing in common with the localization of their spiritualized being-parts, nevertheless acquires a connection with the separate functionings of their common presence. In consequence of this, not only the whole process of their existence flows automatically, but also almost the whole process of the functioning of their planetary body becomes dependent only on chance, automatically perceived, external impressions.


“In very rare cases, certain of these favorites of yours who have reached responsible age become possessors of genuine pure-Reason, proper to three-brained responsible beings. This usually proceeds there thus. For instance, it happens that immediately after the separation from his mother’s womb one of the newly arising beings finds himself for the process of his subsequent formation among such surrounding conditions, where for some reason or other all kinds of those abnormalities—with which the entire process of the external being-existence of three-brained beings breeding on this ill-fated planet is already over-filled—do not touch him and do not influence him automatically maleficently, and in consequence of this the germs which are in him for the possibilities of acquiring pure-Reason have not the time during the process of his subsequent formation to become atrophied to the very root. And further, it sometimes also happens that for the subsequent completing formation of such a three-brained being there, newly arisen in the said relatively normal conditions, his responsible guide during his preparatory age for responsible existence is such a three-brained being as had before this, also of course by chance, already been completely formed in the same way, and in the functioning of whose waking consciousness, thanks to the frequent actualization in his presence of being-Partkdolg-duty, there had participated the data which had remained whole in his subconscious for the engendering of the Divine impulse of ‘Conscience.’


“And so this same guide, being aware with the whole of his Being of the important significance of this responsibility taken upon himself in relation to this new being who has, in the said manner, only as yet reached his preparatory age, begins according to conscience impartially to create for his Oskiano every kind of what are called ‘inner-and-outer-factors’ for the perceiving of corresponding impressions in order to crystallize in his common presence all those data, the totality of which alone can give to the three-brained being who has reached responsible age the power to be ‘Svolibroonolnian,’ or, as your favorites there on Earth would say, the ‘potency-not-to-be-identified-with-and-not-to-be-affected-by-externals-through-one’s-inevitably-inherent-passions’; and this being-impulse, engendered in the being with these data, can alone help him to acquire the possibility of a free and impartial constatation of all true phenomena appearing in the cosmic results around him.


46 Beelzebub Explains to His Grandson the Significance of the Form and Sequence Which He Chose for Expounding the Information Concerning Man


“Well, then, now we can return to my intended theme, that is, why during the whole of our journey on this space-ship I have told you so much and in such a sequence about the three-brained beings breeding on the planet Earth.


“The point is, that when I returned to our dear Karatas, I, being free from any other being-duties whatsoever, voluntarily took upon myself the responsible guidance of your finishing Oskiano for the Being of a responsible being, or, as your favorites would say, ‘your education.’ And, in view of the fact that the present period of your existence is for you just that period when in general, in three-brained beings, all those functions present in them are harmonized, which in totality during the period of responsible existence just actualize in them that form of mentation which is called ‘sane-mentation’; I, in consequence of this, when we set out on this journey in the space-ship Karnak, thought of profiting by this time to help you so that the harmonizing of the functions of yours and the formation of your future active mentation which depends on them should proceed precisely in that order, of the correctness of which I became convinced with the whole of my presence during the process of my long personal existence.


“When at the beginning of our journey I noticed that you were very interested in the three-brained beings of the planet Earth, I then decided, under the aspect of gratifying that interest of yours, to tell you everything about them in such a way that there should be crystallized in you for your future being-associations the required what are called ‘Egoplastikoori,’ without any admixture of doubt.


“For this, I have in almost all my tales strictly held to the two following principles:


“The first: not to say anything as if it were my own personal opinion, in order that data necessary for your own convictions should not be crystallized in you in a prepared form according to the opinions of another.


“And in accordance with the second principle: to relate to you in just such an order and in such a premeditated and selected sequence about all the events which proceeded on this planet Earth connected with the arising among these three-brained beings who have taken your fancy, of various gradually progressing inner and outer abnormalities in the process of their ordinary being-existence, the total of which has given them their present desolate and almost inescapable state—in order that you should be able to marshal your own subjective reasoning concerning all causes, only on the basis of certain facts which I have told you.


“I decided to do this in order that many diversely essenced ‘Egoplastikoori’ for your future logical confrontation should be crystallized in corresponding localizations in your common presence, and also in order that from active mentation the proper elaboration in you of the sacred substances of Abrustdonis and Helkdonis for the purpose of coating and perfecting both of your higher being-parts should proceed more intensively.