Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson




19 Beelzebub’s Tales About His Second Descent onto the Planet Earth


“But when a third great catastrophe occurred to the ill-fated planet, this then most fertile country of the surface of your planet, along with other more or less fertile terra firmas, was covered by ‘Kashmanoon,’ or, as they say, by ‘Sands.’

“For long periods after this third catastrophe, this country Tikliamish was simply called ‘bare desert,’ and now, its parts have various names; its former principal part is called ‘Karakoom,’ that is, ‘Black-sands.’


“During these periods the second also quite independent group of three-brained beings of your planet also dwelt on that continent Ashhark, on that part which was then called the country Maralpleicie.

“Later when this second group also began to have a center point of their existence they called it the ‘city Gob’ and the whole country was for a long time called ‘Goblandia.’


“This locality also was afterwards covered by Kashmanoon and now the former principal part of this also once flourishing country is called simply ‘The Gobi Desert.’


20 The Third Flight of Beelzebub to the Planet Earth


“On this third descent of mine to the planet Earth our ship Occasion did not alight on the sea Kolhidious, which is now called there Caspian Sea, but on the sea called at that period the ‘Sea of Beneficence.’

“We decided to alight on this sea because I wished this time to go to the capital of the beings of the second group of the continent Ashhark, then named the City Gob, which was situated on the southeastern shore of that sea.


“At that time, the City Gob was already a large city, and was well known over the whole planet for its production of the best ‘fabrics’ and the best what are called ‘precious-ornaments.’

“The City Gob was situated on both banks of the mouth of a large river called the ‘Keria-chi’ which flowed into the Sea of Beneficence and which had its rise in the eastern heights of this country.

“Into this Sea of Beneficence, on its western side, another large river flowed called the ‘Naria-Chi.’

“And it was in the valleys of these two large rivers that the beings of the second group of the continent Ashhark chiefly existed.


“A little later this group of hunters chose this learned being, as the cleverest, to be their chief, and still later… this member of the great society Akhaldan married the daughter named Rimala of one of the hunters, and afterwards shared fully in the lives of the founders of the beings of that second group of the continent Iranan, or, as it is called at the present time, Asia.’


“Only much later the center of their common existence was formed on the southeastern shore of the sea; and this place they called the city Gob. This city became the chief place of existence for the head of this second group of beings of the continent Ashhark, whom they called ‘king.’

“The duties of this king were here also hereditary and this inheritance began with the first chosen chief, who was the said learned member of the learned society Akhaldan.


“Thanks to these measures of his, the chewing of the said seeds seemed to diminish in the country of Maralpleicie; but after a very short time it was discovered that the number of those who chewed had only seemingly diminished; in reality, they were even more than before.

“Having understood this, the wise King Konuzion thereupon resolved to punish still more severely those who should continue chewing; and at the same time he strengthened the surveillance of his subjects and also the strictness of the enforcement of the punishment of the guilty.

“And he himself began going about everywhere in the city of Gob, personally examining the guilty and impressing them by various punishments, physical and moral.


“In spite of all this, however, the desired result was not obtained, as the number of those who chewed increased more and more in the city of Gob itself, and corresponding reports from other places in the territories subject to him also increased daily.


“It then became clear that the number of those who chewed had increased still more because many of the three-brained beings who had never previously chewed now began chewing merely out of what is called ‘curiosity,’ which is one of the peculiarities of the psyche of the three-brained beings of that planet which has taken your fancy, that is to say, curiosity to find out what effect those seeds had, the chewing of which was prohibited and punished by the king with such insistence and relentless severity.


“When I first came to the country of Maralpleicie, all the three-brained beings of that country were followers of a ‘religion’ based on the just-mentioned ingenious ‘religious-doctrine,’ and this ‘religion’ was then in full bloom.


“To the inventor himself of this ingenious ‘religious-doctrine,’ namely, the wise King Konuzion, the sacred ‘Rascooarno’ had occurred long before this time, that is to say, he had long previously ‘died.’

“But of course owing once again to the strangeness of the psyche of your favorites, his invention had taken such a strong hold there that not a single being in the whole country of Maralpleicie then doubted the truth of its peculiar tenets.


“Here also in the city Gob, from the first day of my arrival, I began visiting the ‘Kaltaani,’ which were already called ‘Chaihana.’


“It must be noticed that although the custom of Sacrificial-Offerings was also flourishing at that period in the country of Maralpleicie, it was not on the large scale on which it had flourished in the country Tikliamish.


“There in the city Gob I began deliberately looking for a corresponding being, in order to make friends with him, as I had in the city Koorkalai.

“And indeed I soon found such a friend here also, but this time he was not a ‘priest’ by profession.


“My friend here turned out to be the proprietor of a large Chaihana; and although I became, as it is said there, on very good terms with him, nevertheless I never had that strange ‘tie’ with him which arose in my essence towards the priest Abdil in the city Koorkalai.


“Although I had already existed a whole month in the city Gob, I had neither decided upon nor undertaken anything practical for my aim. I simply wandered about the city Gob, visiting first the various Chaihana, and only later the Chaihana of my new friend there.


“And this addition of mine I began to spread by every possible means; of course, very cautiously.

“At first, I spread this invention of mine through my new friend there, the proprietor of the Chaihana.

“I must tell you that his Chaihana was almost the largest in the whole city Gob; and it was very famous for its reddish liquid, of which the beings of the planet Earth are very fond.

“So there were always a great many customers there, and it was open day and night.

“Not only did the inhabitants of the city itself go there, but also all the visitors from the whole of Maralpleicie.


“My new friend himself, the proprietor of the Chaihana, believed my invention so firmly that he didn’t know what to do with himself, for repentance for his past.

“He was in constant agitation and bitterly repented his previous disrespectful attitude and his treatment of the various beings of other forms.


“Becoming day by day a more ardent preacher of my invention, he thereby not only helped to spread it in his own Chaihana, but he even began of his own accord to visit other Chaihana in the city Gob, in order to spread the truth which had so agitated him.

“He preached in the market places, and several times made special visits to the holy places, of which there were then already many in the outskirts of the city Gob, and which had been established in honor or in memory of somebody or something.


“It is very interesting to remark here that the information that serves on the planet Earth for the rise of a holy place is usually due to certain Earth beings called ‘Liars.’


“This disease of ‘lying’ is also very widespread there.

“On the planet Earth people lie consciously and unconsciously.

“And they consciously lie there when they can obtain some personal material advantage by lying; and they unconsciously lie there when they fall ill with the disease called ‘Hysteria.’


“In addition to the proprietor of the Chaihana there in the city Gob, a number of other beings very soon began unconsciously to assist me, who, like the proprietor of the Chaihana, had meanwhile become ardent supporters of my invention; and all the beings of that second group of Asiatic beings were soon eagerly spreading this invention of mine and persuading each other of it as an indubitable ‘truth’ that had suddenly been revealed.


“Such comical farces occurred as, for instance, the following: a highly respectable and wealthy merchant of the city Gob would be riding in the morning on his donkey to his own shop and on the way a motley crowd of beings would drag this respectable merchant off his donkey and thoroughly maul him because he had dared to ride on it; and then the crowd, bowing low, would escort the donkey on which the merchant had been riding, wherever it chose to go.


“Or, what is called a ‘woodcutter’ would be hauling wood to market with his own oxen from the forest to the town.

“A mob of citizens would drag him also off his cart and after mauling him, very gently unyoke the oxen and escort them wherever they wished to go.

“And if the cart were seen in a part of the city where it might hold up the traffic, the mob of citizens would themselves drag the cart to the market and leave it there to its fate.


“Thanks to this invention of mine, various quite new customs were very soon created in the city Gob.

“As, for instance, the custom was established there of placing troughs in all the squares, public places, and at the crossroads of the town, where residents of the city Gob could in the morning throw their choicest morsels of food for dogs and other stray beings of various forms; and at sunrise, throw into the Sea of Beneficence every kind of food for the beings called ‘fishes.’


“Pardon me, your Right Reverence,” interrupted at that moment Beelzebub’s old devoted servant Ahoon, who had also been listening with great interest to his tales.

“Do you remember, your Right Reverence, how many times in that same city Gob we ourselves had to flop down in the streets during the cries of beings of different forms?”


“And so, my boy, what our Ahoon so mischievously reminded me about concerned just that custom, which developed there in the city Gob, of attaching significance to the voices of beings of various forms and particularly to the voice of what are called ‘donkeys,’ of which there were then, for some reason or other, a great many in the city Gob.


“So, my boy, it was established there in the city Gob that as soon as the sound of the voice of the donkey was heard, all who heard it had to flop down immediately and offer up prayers to their god and to their revered idols and, I must add, these donkeys usually have a very loud voice by nature and their voices carry a long way.


“Well, then, as we walked along the streets of the city Gob and saw the citizens flopping down at the braying of every donkey, we had to flop down likewise so as not to be distinguished from the others; and it was just this comical custom, I see now, that tickled our old Ahoon so much.


“Having thus become convinced that there also, among that second group of beings of the continent Ashhark, I had succeeded so easily in uprooting, for a long time, the custom of Sacrificial-Offerings, I decided to leave; but I had it in mind, in any event, to visit also the nearest large points where the beings of the same second group were breeding; and I chose for this purpose the region of the course of the river ‘Naria-Chi.’


“Soon after this decision, I sailed with Ahoon to the mouth of this river, and began to sail up against its current, having become persuaded that there had already passed from the beings of the city Gob to the beings of this group populating these large centers the same new customs and the same notions concerning Sacrificial-Offerings by the destruction of the existence of other beings.


21 The First Visit of Beelzebub to India


“There in Pearl-land also, just as in the city Gob, I first ‘invented-a-detailed-addition’ to the mentioned religious teaching, and afterwards by every possible means I began spreading this invention of mine.


32 Hypnotism


“This ‘abnormal’ particular property of their psyche was first constated by the learned beings of the city Gob of the country Maralpleicie; and even then they made it a serious and detailed branch of science which spread over the whole of the planet under the name of ‘non-responsible-manifestations-of-personality.’


40 Beelzebub Tells How People Learned and Again Forgot About the Fundamental Cosmic Law of Heptaparaparshinokh


“Well then, to the grandson of this King Konuzion, after the arising of an heir who later also became king over the beings of this group, there arose just these same two results of the male sex, twins, the elder of whom was called ‘Choon-Kil-Tez’ and the younger ‘Choon-Tro-Pel.’ The word ‘Choon’ then in the country Maralpleicie meant ‘prince.’


“The period of their preparatory age and the early years of their responsible existence were spent in the town Gob, in the country Maralpleicie, but when this part of the surface of your planet began to be buried under sand, they were both among the number of those refugees who went East.


“This group of three-brained beings, refugees from the country Maralpleicie, among whom were also these two twin brothers, later great learned beings, crossed the Eastern heights of Maralpleicie and then settled on the shores of a great water-space.


“There was afterwards formed from them a settled group of these terrestrial three-brained beings still existing today, which, as well as the country which it inhabits, is now called ‘China.’


“The Nirioonossian-World-Sound is just that sound the vibrations of which have been taken from ancient times—and even at the present time there, is still taken, it is true, for a very small number of your favorites, of course, of this same China—for their sound-producing instruments as the ‘absolute vibrations’ of the note ‘do.’


“The history of the constatation of the existence there on your planet of this sound is as follows:


“It was first discovered by that learned member of the society Akhaldan which existed on the continent Atlantis, who was a progenitor of these same learned twin brothers and who, do you remember, I have already told you, chanced to meet the first settlers of the country Maralpleicie and was later elected by them as their chief.


“At that time this same learned member of the society Akhaldan, during his observations of different cosmic phenomena which proceeded on and beyond their planet, constated that in a definite locality of a certain part of this country, just near that locality where the town Gob arose, twice a year after certain meteorological perturbations in the atmosphere, the same definite sound always arose and was heard for a fairly long time.