Beelzebub's Tales to His Grandson




19 Beelzebub’s Tales About His Second Descent onto the Planet Earth


“And in his further detailed explanations, His Conformity then said, among other things, that after the second catastrophe to the Earth, the biped three-brained beings who had accidentally survived had again multiplied; that now, the whole process of their being-existence was concentrated on another, newly formed, also large continent called ‘Ashhark’; that three independent large groups had just been formed on this same large continent ‘Ashhark,’ the first of which existed in a locality then called ‘Tikliamish,’ the second in a place called ‘Maralpleicie,’ and the third in a still existing locality then called ‘Gemchania’ or ‘Pearl-land’; and that in the general psyche of the beings belonging to all those three independent groups, certain peculiar ‘Havatvernoni’ had been formed, that is, certain psychic strivings, the totality of the process of which common-cosmic strivings they themselves had named ‘Religion.’


“This time our ship Occasion alighted on the sea which was newly formed by the perturbation during the second great disaster to that planet of yours, and which was called there in that period of the flow of time, ‘Kolhidious.’


“This sea was situated on the northwest of that newly formed large continent Ashhark, which at that period was already the chief center of the existence of the three-brained beings there.

“The other shores of this sea were composed of those newly emerged terra firmas which had become joined to the continent Ashhark, and which all together were first called ‘Frianktzanarali’ and a little later ‘Kolhidshissi.’

“It must be remarked that this sea and also the mentioned terra firmas exist until now, but of course they now already have other names; for instance, the continent Ashhark is now called Asia; the sea ‘Kolhidious,’ the ‘Caspian Sea’; and all the Frianktzanarali together now exist under the name ‘Caucasus.’


“Here it might as well be remarked that although this large river then called ‘Oksoseria’ now still exists, yet it no longer flows into the present Caspian Sea, because after a minor planetary tremor at almost half way, it turned to the right and flowed into one of the hollows on the surface of the continent Ashhark, where it gradually formed a small sea, which still exists and is called the ‘Aral Sea’; but the old bed of the former half of that large river which is now called the ‘Amu Darya,’ can still be seen by close observation.


“During the period of this second descent of mine in person, the country Tikliamish was considered to be and indeed was the richest and most fertile of all the terra fir-mas of that planet good for ordinary being-existence.


“But when a third great catastrophe occurred to the ill-fated planet, this then most fertile country of the surface of your planet, along with other more or less fertile terra firmas, was covered by ‘Kashmanoon,’ or, as they say, by ‘Sands.’

“For long periods after this third catastrophe, this country Tikliamish was simply called ‘bare desert,’ and now, its parts have various names; its former principal part is called ‘Karakoom,’ that is, ‘Black-sands.’


“During these periods the second also quite independent group of three-brained beings of your planet also dwelt on that continent Ashhark, on that part which was then called the country Maralpleicie.

“Later when this second group also began to have a center point of their existence they called it the ‘city Gob’ and the whole country was for a long time called ‘Goblandia.’


“This locality also was afterwards covered by Kashmanoon and now the former principal part of this also once flourishing country is called simply ‘The Gobi Desert.’


“And as for the third group of the three-brained beings of that time of the planet Earth, this also quite independent group had the place of its existence on the southeastern side of the continent Ashhark, opposite to Tikliamish, quite on the other side of those abnormal projections of the continent Ashhark which also were formed during the second perturbation to this ill-fated planet.


“On arriving there and after arranging the place of our permanent existence there, I first began visiting the ‘Kaltaani’ of the city Koorkalai, that is, those establishments there which on the continent Ashhark were later called ‘Chaihana,’ ‘Ashhana,’ ‘Caravanseray,’ and so on, and which the contemporary beings there, especially those breeding on the continent called ‘Europe,’ call ‘Caf├ęs,’ ‘Restaurants,’ ‘Clubs,’ ‘Dance Halls,’ ‘Meeting Places,’ and so on.


“Before telling you more about this priest Abdil, I must make clear to your Reason that there on the continent of Ashhark the mentioned terrible custom of Sacrificial-Offerings was at that time, as it is said, at its ‘height,’ and the destruction of various weak one-brained and two-brained beings proceeded everywhere in incalculable numbers.


“The custom of ‘pleasing-their-gods’ by destroying the existence of other beings is followed there, on your planet, until now, only not on the scale on which these abominations were practiced by your favorites at that time on the continent Ashhark.


20 The Third Flight of Beelzebub to the Planet Earth


“On this third descent of mine to the planet Earth our ship Occasion did not alight on the sea Kolhidious, which is now called there Caspian Sea, but on the sea called at that period the ‘Sea of Beneficence.’

“We decided to alight on this sea because I wished this time to go to the capital of the beings of the second group of the continent Ashhark, then named the City Gob, which was situated on the southeastern shore of that sea.


“At that time, the City Gob was already a large city, and was well known over the whole planet for its production of the best ‘fabrics’ and the best what are called ‘precious-ornaments.’

“The City Gob was situated on both banks of the mouth of a large river called the ‘Keria-chi’ which flowed into the Sea of Beneficence and which had its rise in the eastern heights of this country.

“Into this Sea of Beneficence, on its western side, another large river flowed called the ‘Naria-Chi.’

“And it was in the valleys of these two large rivers that the beings of the second group of the continent Ashhark chiefly existed.


“If you wish, my dear boy, I shall also tell you a little of the history of the rise of this group of beings of the continent Ashhark,” Beelzebub said to Hassein.


“This hunting was very difficult, because for the capture of these Pirmarals a great many of these hunter-beings were required; so these professional hunters always took their whole families with them for assistance.

“Once several of these hunter families joined together and set off to hunt the Pirmarals on a very remote continent then called ‘Iranan,’ which later, after having been changed owing to the second catastrophe, was called ‘the continent Ashhark.’

“This was the same continent your contemporary favorites now call Asia.’


“A little later this group of hunters chose this learned being, as the cleverest, to be their chief, and still later… this member of the great society Akhaldan married the daughter named Rimala of one of the hunters, and afterwards shared fully in the lives of the founders of the beings of that second group of the continent Iranan, or, as it is called at the present time, Asia.’


“Only much later the center of their common existence was formed on the southeastern shore of the sea; and this place they called the city Gob. This city became the chief place of existence for the head of this second group of beings of the continent Ashhark, whom they called ‘king.’

“The duties of this king were here also hereditary and this inheritance began with the first chosen chief, who was the said learned member of the learned society Akhaldan.


“In this religious doctrine it was said, among other things, that far from our continent Ashhark was a larger island where existed our ‘Mister God.’


“I must tell you that in those days not one of the ordinary beings knew that, besides their planet Earth, other cosmic concentrations existed.

“The beings of the planet Earth of those days were even certain that the scarcely visible ‘white-points’ far away in space were nothing more than the pattern on the ‘veil’ of the ‘world,’ that is to say, just of their planet; as, in their notions then, the ‘whole-world’ consisted, as I have said, of their planet alone.

“They were also convinced that this veil was supported like a canopy on special pillars, the ends of which rested on their planet.


“In that ingeniously original ‘religious doctrine’ of the wise King Konuzion it was said that Mister God had intentionally attached to our souls the organs and limbs we now have to protect us against our environment, and to enable us efficiently and profitably to serve both himself personally and the ‘souls’ already taken to that island of His.


“And when we die and our soul is liberated from all these specially attached organs and limbs, it becomes what it should really be, and is then immediately taken just to this island of His, where our Mister God, in accordance with how our soul with its added parts has existed here on our continent Ashhark, assigns to it an appropriate place for its further existence.


“If the soul has fulfilled its duties honestly and conscientiously, Mister God leaves it, for its further existence, on His island; but the soul that here on the continent Ashhark has idled or discharged its duties indolently and negligently, that has in short, existed only for the gratification of the desires of the parts attached to it, or finally, that has not kept His commandments—such a soul our Mister God sends for its further existence to a neighboring island of smaller size.


“Here, on the continent Ashhark, exist many ‘spirits’ attendant upon Him, who walk among us in ‘caps-of-invisibility,’ thanks to which they can constantly watch us unnoticed and either inform our Mister God of all our doings or report them to Him on the ‘Day-of-Judgment.’

“We cannot in any way conceal from them, either any of our doings, or any of our thoughts.


“It was still further said that just like our continent Ashhark, all the other continents and islands of the world had been created by our Mister God and now existed as I have said, only to serve Him and the deserving ‘souls’ already dwelling on His island.

“The continents and islands of the world are all places, as it were, for preparation, and storehouses for everything necessary for this island of His.


“It is needless to say,” he continued, “that there also, in this second center of culture of the three-brained beings of your planet, breeding there on the continent of Ashhark, the destruction of beings of other forms for Sacrificial-Offerings entirely ceased; and, if isolated instances occurred, the beings of that group themselves settled accounts with the offenders without compunction.


“Having thus become convinced that there also, among that second group of beings of the continent Ashhark, I had succeeded so easily in uprooting, for a long time, the custom of Sacrificial-Offerings, I decided to leave; but I had it in mind, in any event, to visit also the nearest large points where the beings of the same second group were breeding; and I chose for this purpose the region of the course of the river ‘Naria-Chi.’


21 The First Visit of Beelzebub to India


“The mentioned conversation of the beings who sat near me in the Chaihana in the small town Arguenia then immediately interested me, because at that time I already had the intention of going to that same Pearl-land where the three-brained beings of the continent Ashhark of the third group bred.

“And the conversation I then heard at once evoked in my mentation an association to the effect that it might be better to go to the country Pearl-land directly from here with this large caravan of these beings, rather than return the same way to the Sea of Beneficence, and from there, by means of the same ship Occasion, to reach this country.


“After every kind of difficulty we at last, one rainy morning, on ascending a height, suddenly saw on the horizon the outline of a large water-space bordering the edges of the continent Ashhark, which was then called Pearl-land.


“And four days later we came to the chief point of the existence of the beings of that third group, then the city ‘Kaimon.’

“Having arranged there the place of our permanent existence, we did nothing during our first days there but stroll about the streets of the town, observing the specific manifestations of the beings of that third group in the process of their ordinary existence.


“It cannot be helped, my dear Hassein. Now that I have told you the history of the arising of the second group of the three-brained beings of the continent Ashhark, I must tell you also about the history of the arising of the third group.”


“In this way, before the second great catastrophe to the planet Earth, many beings of the continent Atlantis already existed on this part of the continent Ashhark also, and when that second catastrophe occurred to your planet, then many of the beings who chanced to be saved from the continent Atlantis, chiefly those who already had relatives and kinsmen in that Pearl-land, also gradually collected there.


“Owing, as always, to their ‘fecundity,’ they gradually multiplied there and began to populate this part of the terra firma of their planet, more and more.

“At first they populated there in Pearl-land only two definite regions, namely, the regions around the mouths of the two large rivers which flowed from the interior of Pearl-land into the large water-space, just in those places near which many of the mentioned pearl-bearing beings bred.

“But when the population there greatly increased, they began to populate also the interior of that part of the continent Ashhark; but nevertheless their favorite regions continued to be the valleys of the two mentioned rivers.


“Well, then, my boy, when I first arrived in Pearl-land, I decided to attain my aim there also by means of the ‘Havatvernoni’ which existed there, that is, through their Religion.

“But it turned out that amongst the beings of this third group of the continent Ashhark, there were at that time several peculiar ‘Havatvernonis’ or ‘Religions’ all based on different, quite independent what are called ‘religious-teachings,’ having nothing in common with each other.


22 Beelzebub for the First Time in Tibet


“This time we passed through places still more peculiar, and through still more uncommon parts of the general Nature of that ill-fated planet; and we also encountered this time, or there came within the sphere of our vision, a much greater number of those one-brained and two-brained beings, of various forms, which are called ‘wild,’ and which in those days came there from very remote parts of the continent Ashhark for the purpose, as it is said there, of ‘hunting.’


“Here I must say something about an exceedingly strange thing, which I constated, closely connected with just that part of the surface of your planet which is now called Tibet.

“At that period when I was passing through Tibet for the first time, its heights were indeed also unusually far above the surface of the Earth, but they did not differ particularly from similar elevations on other continents and on the same continent Ashhark or Asia, of which Tibet was a part.

“But when during my sixth and last personal stay on the planet Earth there, my way again took me through those, for me, extremely memorable places, I just then constated that in the interval of the few score of their centuries, the whole of that locality had projected so far from the planet that no heights on any of the other continents could even be compared with them.


24 Beelzebub’s Flight to the Planet Earth for the Fifth Time


“During this time, that is to say, between my fourth and fifth visits, great changes occurred to the surface of your planet; many changes also occurred there in the concentrations of the places of settlement of these favorites of yours. For example, all those centers-of-culture of theirs on the continent Ashhark where I had been in person during my previous descents upon the Earth, namely, the countries of Tikliamish and Maralpleicie, had by the time of my fifth arrival there entirely ceased to exist.


“Such depressions were also the two countries of the continent Ashhark upon which the process of existence was chiefly concentrated of the second and third groups of beings of contemporary Asia, that is to say, the main parts of the countries Tikliamish and Maralpleicie.


“But in fact, the real cause of the transmigration of the three-centered beings there was that as soon as the said abrasion began, the beings living on the continent Ashhark, fearing to be buried by the sands, began moving to other, more or less secure places. And these migrations of the three-brained beings there proceeded in the following order:


“Most of the three-brained beings populating Tikliamish moved to the south of the same continent Ashhark, to the country which was later called ‘Persia,’ and the rest moved north, and settled in those regions which were afterwards called ‘Kirkistcheri.’


“During that period of the flow of time this ‘incomparably majestic’ Babylon was flourishing in every respect. It was a Center-of-Culture not only for the beings dwelling on the continent Ashhark, but also for all the beings of all those other large and small terra firmas which were adapted to the needs of ordinary being-existence on that planet.


29 The Fruits of Former Civilizations and the Blossoms of the Contemporary


“Those Asiatic beings who were engaged in ‘marine occupations,’ namely, in fishing and in gathering sponges, coral, and seaweed, emigrated with their families for the convenience of their profession and settled either on the western shores of their own continent Ashhark, on the southeastern shores of the continent Europe, or on the islands of the straits which still divide the continents Asia and Europe.


38 Religion


“Your favorites of already the first generation of the contemporaries of Saint Moses, evidently found it profitable for their special aims to insert in these religious teachings almost the entire fantastic teaching which I already told you when I related that among the ancient three-brained beings of the second grouping on the continent Ashhark or contemporary Asia, there was a king named Konuzion, a subsequent Saint, who, for the purpose of saving his subjects from the pernicious habit of chewing the seed of the poppy first invented his fantastic ‘religious doctrine.’


“Do you remember that I once told you that to that self-same Gemchania of the continent Ashhark, now Asia, beings of the continent Atlantis used to sail in the beginning for pearls, and how, later, that it was also they who first populated that country?